The thing that instantly struck me is that there were no monitors attached to his little body.
Only an IV and his nasal cannula.
No need to monitor his vitals any more I suppose...
The reality of the situation rips at my heart.
It is so, so WRONG. It shouldn't be this way!
He is such a sweet, tiny little guy.
He is struggling to breathe, his chest contracting with every breath. He hasn't really opened his eyes today.
I hold him for a little bit to introduce myself. I snuggle his body close to mine while smelling his sweet little baby scent. Let him know how much his family loves him and that people from all over the world are praying for him.
It's all so wrong.
We talk and even manage to laugh about a few things. There are some pictures a photographer had taken of No.ah yesterday. He was so alert just twenty-four hours ago! So different from what he is like today.
I hug my neighbors before we leave...
Tell them that we continue to pray--for No.ah. For them. We are here for them whenever.
It feels like there is much more to say except I can't for the life of me figure out what that is. More people arrive, so there is no time to think about it anyway.
We don't say much about the visit on the way home. My SIL is at the house, and I can feel that I am on the edge emotionally. I don't want to let my emotions out until I have a chance to be alone and process. He is struggling as much as I am, I think.
She finally left a half an hour ago.
And now it is time to cry.
:(
ReplyDeleteThinking of your neighbor and family, sending wishes of peace.
I am so sorry. Words are useless.
ReplyDeleteI am crying with you. How terribly unfair. How terribly sad. I'm praying for peace for all of you.
ReplyDelete((HUG)) I am so sorry for your neighbors pain, for the little boy struggling to breath, and for the pain this is causing you. I cannot fathom what going through any of this feels like. Continuing to pray for No.ah, his family, and you.
ReplyDeleteI would love to see a picture of him.
ReplyDeleteHow is his twin doing ?
Thank you for the updates...though I suppose by doing so, it helps you process. The intensity of the emotions of the situation feel like they are going to turn me inside out -- and I am states away, don't even know them....you... I hope he isn't in pain or discomfort trying to get air in or out...
ReplyDeletePlease universe...give him peace...
*so glad a photographer came to give them pics to hold onto...
Heartbreaking. It was so good of you to go. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThe internets ate my comment yesterday, but I wanted post again today to tell you that I admire you for going to see Noah. I, never having seen him or his family, was holding back tears as I worked yesterday. I can only imagine what pain his family is going through, and what sadness you are reliving. I hope his family (and you) feel the love and wishes for peace that is being sent for all of you.
ReplyDeleteThinking of little Noah, of his family, and of you. I can't imagine what it would be like to know you are going to lose your child. Know it, and not be able to do anything about it. My thoughts are with them and you...
ReplyDelete