Saturday, April 26, 2008

On this day last year, I had my retrieval from the cycle that brought you to me. Happy conception day, boys--I so wish we would have been able to celebrate it in such a different way.

The fourth surgery in a little over 4 weeks is happening now.

My poor baby. I am so very sorry you have to go through this. I can't help but to think that I have failed somehow. I know that I did all I could to make you whole, but sometimes that isn't enough--for that, I am so, so sorry.

I pray that this is it.

I don't have any confidence in myself at this point to know if it will be. I thought the last time was it. How wrong I was.
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11 comments:

  1. The Madeira TripletsApril 26, 2008 at 10:27 AM

    Dear Stacy,

    I'm so sorry to hear that things aren't working out as everyone expected. There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling angry, helpless, out of control, you name it--you've earned that right, and you'd be inhuman if you didn't feel all of those things. But you have nothing ever to be sorry for. Your boys are so lucky to have you for a mom, and Isaac for a dad! So, so lucky. As ever, you're in my thoughts and prayers...and if you have another little one brewing, then that baby will be equally as lucky! Best,

    Jody

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  2. bennett baby blogApril 26, 2008 at 10:29 AM

    i pray, too, that this is the last surgery for your little guy. hang in there.

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  3. AnonymousApril 26, 2008 at 11:42 AM

    Your sweet baby is in my prayers.

    Cindy

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  4. isaApril 26, 2008 at 12:51 PM

    Praying for you. Don't give up. You've proven time and time again how strong you are. Sending as much love and help that i can through the net. isa

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  5. K J and the kidsApril 26, 2008 at 4:01 PM

    Babies and children are so resilient. It's this reason that you should draw your faith and know that he's ok. That he's going to be ok. He is such a strong little boy already.
    I'm sorry that you are going through this. I think we would all change it for you if we could.

    Tons of prayers and positive thoughts heading your way.

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  6. CabaApril 26, 2008 at 4:48 PM

    Stacy! Sending you love and warm thoughts ... I am so sorry you are going through this, and I can't imagine how scary and frustrating it is ... just know you and your family are in our thoughts!

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  7. Dr. GrumblesApril 26, 2008 at 8:13 PM

    Thinking of Shawn and wishing him health and healing...

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  8. NeenieApril 26, 2008 at 8:20 PM

    omg I am just so sorry....so so sorry for all of this trauma your family and poor Shawn has been going through. It is so unfair. I am just so sorry...

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  9. AnonymousApril 26, 2008 at 9:08 PM

    hey stacie - i am thinking about you and the boys and will keep you all in my prayers!! i am so sorry you are having to go thru this again! hope to read a good update soon! ~ julie2007

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  10. TopcatApril 27, 2008 at 5:36 AM

    Stacie, I'm thinking and praying for Shawn. And you.

    xoxoxoxoxox

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  11. GeohdeApril 27, 2008 at 7:13 PM

    Stacie, thinking of all of you. I hope the surgery went smoothly and Shawn doesn't need any more,

    J

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