Sh.awn's Day

On this day, three years ago, this happened. Go check the link. It still makes me teary to relive that memory.

On January 25, 2008, after 13 long weeks, our little Sh.awny came home from the NICU.

I remember the day so clearly--so long ago, yet somehow it seems like it was just yesterday. It's funny how that happens.

I had waited for discharge for so, so long. We had been told it was possible for him to go home; however, we had heard that before, so I don't think I really allowed myself to actually believe it.

As I filled out the discharge paperwork, I expected them to change their minds at any moment. But they didn't.

I held my breath.

As we got him dressed and removed his wires and monitor leads, I expected them to come running over and take him away. But they didn't.

I held my breath.

As we put him in his car seat, I expected his nurse to say something about how the had made a mistake. But she didn't.

I continued to hold my breath.

Before I knew it, we finally made it out of the hospital. I think I was in shock! Lol.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of him the entire ride home. My mind swirled with a bizarre mixture of utter awe at this sweet little creature in the back seat and an overwhelming fear that if my eyes left him for a second, he'd vanish back to the hospital.

I don't think I exhaled until we had finally walked in the front door and locked it behind us. Only then did I feel like he was really ours.

After all that time in the NICU, I was ready to really be a mom, but I was so terrified of actually having a real live baby at home for us to take care of--alone.

With no monitors to make sure he was breathing!

Yikes!

But home he came, and our lives have never been the same again.

Three years ago today, Sh.awny, we finally gottcha to take home. Since then I've been amazed by your strength, determination, and intelligence. You continue to blow me away each and every day...

I am so proud to be your mommy.