World Prematurity Day - Part 2

Today was World Prematurity Day. We wore our purple, but I have to say that the weight of how prematurity has affected our lives was heavy on my heart. Each time I looked at my boys with their bright purple shirts, I was reminded.

 

Over and over again all day long it was there.

 

Every single one of their struggles is directly related to their prematurity. All of the scary diagnoses, the complications, the surgeries, and the challenges are from being born too soon.

 

Oh how I wish I could somehow change this one thing in their lives on days like this, somehow give them another week or two to gestate. The "if onlys" are many, and the guilt comes back. How could it not when my body's failure played such a major role in the most influential event of their lives? While the guilt may not be as intense as it used to be, it's still there. I imagine it might always be.

 

But, I know, know in my heart that we are very lucky.

 

I know how very close we came to losing our boys.

 

I am so, so thankful that they are still here.

 

I know just how strong and determine these boys are, and I am so very proud of them.