The Human Pillow Has Escaped

I have had someone laying on me pretty much 24/7 since Friday morning. Thankfully, I have finally escaped from being Sh.awn's personal pillow. (Or Jack's. Or Sh.awn's AND Jack's together.) It's a good thing, too, because I was not so slowly losing my mind.

Sh.awn is still what can only be described as fragile. Oh man is he a grumpy boy. His eyes still bother him from the stitches. (He keeps hollering at me to stop poking him in his eyes. Why am I the one he thinks is poking him in the eyes?) Plus we have to put drops in his eyes 3 times a day. The drop scenes are pretty intense--shrieks of terror and pain leave us all exhausted after them. But I do have to say that my boy has some of the strongest freaking eyelids I have ever encountered! Good grief.

As if that wasn't enough on my plate, today my stomach has been rebelling from the stress of Friday. Fun times. Not.

Sigh.

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B and SIL had their first visit to L&D yesterday. The birth mom was contracting at 7 minutes apart. They were there for several hours to see if things progressed. They were ultimately sent home.

She's due June 10th.

Glad That's Over With

(reposted from the family blog. I am what you can call BEAT right now)

Shawn had his strabismus surgery today, and boy has it been a long day. Shawn had to check in at 6:30 am for his 7:30 surgery. Unfortunately, we had to wait for quite some time before they finally took him back just before 9:00.



Here he is in his hospital gown. Up until he put that thing on, he was in good spirits. Once he was in his gown, he knew something was up.

After the procedure, they called me back to recovery where poor Mr. Shawn was a mess. He was screaming and flailing around. His eyes were bleeding pretty badly, too. (totally normal after this surgery but definitely an alarming sight to say the least) He kept saying his eyes hurt and screamed. Poor baby. Ugh.





We got home just before noon-- a lot later than i had anticipated. :-(

Shawn's had a rough afternoon, but I think he is finally starting to feel better now. He has been attached to my side all day and has just recently let me move away from him a bit. He was able to eat a little something (the anesthesia made him sick earlier so he didn't want anything for quite a while) and is no longer complaining constantly that his eyes hurt. All good signs.

Right now he is snuggled in mommy and daddy's bed trying to finally get some much deserved rest.

I hereby declare that this needs to be our family's LAST surgery.

Sigh.

I am typing this on my phone, so ignore the typos. ;-) I am not feeling up to proofreading right now!

One More For The Books

Well, actually two for the books.

• Tomorrow (Friday) Sh.awn will have yet another surgery--bilateral strabismus surgery. While this is a relatively "minor" surgery, I am having difficulty dealing with it. He'll be sedated and vented, which to any NICU survivor is never good.
• It's just that he's been through so much already. For once it would be nice if he could catch a break on something...anything. Apparently, this isn't the thing.
• It totally sucks having to replay his medical history over and over again. I think this is surgery number 13 for Sh.awn.
• The fact that 13 is often UNLUCKY didn't escape my notice.
• I'd have to look at my notes/files to be sure if that is the correct number, but frankly I'd prefer not to right now.
• Because, dude. The thought of reliving some of that crap makes me sick to my stomach.

• I officially started AF yesterday. This time I made it exactly 8 weeks ppd, which is a lot better than the measly 28 days I went after I delivered the boys.
• Do I need to tell you what CD1 did to me?
• Damn if the ttc thoughts are front and center in my head.
• The booming of my biological clock does.not.help.at.all.
• In my head I've already begun to fantasize a bfp without a room full of white coats...

P.S. I've been trying to write comments throughout the day today, but I can't seem to get blogger to let me do it. Anyone else having that problem?

Wordless Wednesday - 8 Weeks Old

Someone, please slow down the clock...time's speeding by way too fast.

This is his grumpy face--makes me laugh every time!

P.S. I posted his 8 week stats on the other blog if you are interested.

My Children...

...are odd. There. I said it. Of course, they didn't have much chance to be "normal." They come by it naturally--their parents are odd too.

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Scene 1 - Is.aac had just walked into the house from work. He walked over to his chair and sat down. Ja.son came hurrying over and licked Is.aac's shoe. There was no warning. No words. Just a quick lick.
Um...okay.

"Ja.son. Did you lick daddy's shoe?" asked Is.aac.

Ja.son looked up at him and shook his head no a few times. Without taking his eyes off of Is.aac, then he stuck out his tongue and nodded yes.

"Why, buddy?" Is.aac asked.

"Cuz I missed you." Then he was off to the kitchen to go sit on one of his "elevators." (These are the floor mats in the kitchen. He sits on them, pretends the elevator door closes, makes a humming noise, and then dings when he's arrived at a new floor.)

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Scene 2 - I posted about this on FB last night:

Sh.awn has a bag of magnetic letters he likes to play with. He will usually pull the letters out of the bag, say the letter name and sound, and then say a word that begins with the letter. He loves that activity and does it over and over again.

Yesterday, he decided to change things up a little and would pull each letter out and talk to it. The conversation went something like this:

He takes the letter out: "Hello R. What are you doing?"

In a slightly different voice, he'd say for the letter: "I'm going over here!" (you kind of have to yell "here" for the full effect)  Then he'd shove the letter to the ground.

He did the same conversation over and over for all the letters in his bag. I tried to get it on video, but he wouldn't let me. :-(

Is.aac and I just about died from laughter. It was so funny.

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Scene 3 - Well, there is no scene 3 because Ja.ck hasn't done anything too unusual yet. Notice I said yet. Just give him time, though. I am sure he'll be just as odd as the rest of us. :-)

ETA - I don't know why this was all jumbled up when I first posted this. It's now fixed.

Cute Baby Saturday

(Reposted from the boys' blog.)

Practicing holding his head up with daddy. He's already getting to be so big!

There is something about this playmat. The boys love to come lie on it with Ja.ck. It is very sweet to see!

Friday Night Leftovers - Family Updates Edition

• Can I just say that I am totally addicted to Words With Friends? Cuz, um, I totally am. Anyone want to play? I promise not to post your user name if you leave it. If you don't want to post it, you can email me: he.eee.ere.sto.rk.ey (at) gmail (dot) com (take out the periods)
• Just got the call that Sh.awn's labs were all normal. I knew they would be. I just wish I didn't have to torment him to prove that to the doctor. Oh, and he bruises like his mother. Poor boy looks like he got beat.
• I just realized I should change my email address now that I've changed my blog name. Sigh.
• Ja.ck is totally rocking 6 month clothes. Good grief this boy is big. And yes, he is only 7 weeks old!
• Sh.awn has been very into reading his books and continues to play with all things letter. It is so cute!
• Ja.son has decided that he lives in Califormula. Ha! I make him tell me where he lives about a hundred times a day just so I can get a little giggle. :-)
• Is.aac ticked Sh.awn off last night while they were in the kitchen. I was in the living room feeding Ja.ck. From out of nowhere, I heard, "Come ON, Is.aac!" from Sh.awn. The sad part was that he sounded just like me. Ooops.
• Heh heh. I shouldn't find that funny but I totally do.
• He also got this little gem from Ja.son: (copied from yesterday's FB status because I am lazy) "Jay came up to Isaac earlier and asked him what's the dealio? One of us may have listened to some Pink on the way home from the doctor's appointment today. Cough. Cough. Ok. It was me."
• Sh.awn is just now waking up from his nap. I can hear him trying to wake Ja.son up, too. Stinker.
• Thank you to the universe that they still nap on most days.
• The period that I thought was, apparently isn't. Nothing since Tuesday while we were at the hospital. Do you think stress could have made me spot bright red?
• My mom has gone to Arizona for three weeks to visit my grandmother. Trying not to freak out. I still wig out when she has to drive for any length of time. It doesn't help that she is taking the same route my dad took the night he died. Ugh.
• There have been some big changes in my husband's company. The owner is no longer the owner of the company. Like he just came in one day and said that he was no longer going to be there, the VP was now going to be president of the company, and now they have investors to help keep the company afloat changes. We are fairly sure that Is.aac's job is secure (probably more so now than when the owner was part of the company--he was doing some scary things with money), but I am still somewhat worried. Here's hoping things work out for the better.
• Seriously. Words with Friends...anyone? Hello? Please?

Stop by Danifred's and see what everyone else is sharing.

All You Need Is...

I posted this on FB and on the preemie board I am a member of, but it is just too sweet to not share with everyone. :-)

We recently got the Beatles songs for kids CD, and my boys been listening to it nonstop. Non. Stop. Seriously, they listen to it enough to drive a girl crazy. Sigh.

Anyway, the other night my husband was getting Shawn ready for bed, "All you need is love" was on in the background. Is.aac was singing along, but Sh.awn kept getting the lyrics wrong. At first, Is.aac couldn't figure out what he was saying, but then it all became clear. Instead of singing the actual words, Sh.awn kept saying "All you need is Mom...all you need is Mom."

Is.aac just about died from laughter.

Sh.awn's a pretty smart boy, now isn't he! Lol.

(Interestingly, Sh.awn doesn't sing the song that way to me. He uses the correct words. But, he always changes it now when he sings it with Is.aac. And yes, I've heard him sing it and that is what he's saying. Too funny!)

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The pre-op appointment and eye exams went okay. Sh.awn had to have his blood drawn, which wasn't pleasant for any of us, but he only held a grudge for a few minutes. Now I get to relax until next Friday when Sh.awn has his strabismus surgery.

Whew

Tuesday was yet another day of appointment making. This time, we were off to the children's hospital for CT scans and follow ups with the neurosurgeon. Ugh, I hate the neurosurgeon's office.*

Yep. Good times, especially when you consider that we had our appointments for the scans at noon and the boys were not supposed to eat after midnight in case we had to sedate them for the scans.

But the thought that they would get us in at noon was optimistic on our parts. We really didn't even get started on the scans until nearly 2:00. I had hoped...but I knew better.

With all of the waiting/stress, guess who started spotting bright red and had some fun cramping? I am so lucky, I know. The universe is quite the bitch sometimes.**

Sigh.

Both boys were able to remain still enough to get semi decent images. (Sh.awn was a rock star and was absolutely still with daddy singing to him. Ja.son had his scan done twice because his hiccuping breaths blurred the first series. The second series was still somewhat blurry, but readable, thanks largely to playing the Cars movie on my phone. Don't get me started on the fact that he was double radiated. Sigh.) In the end, no sedation was needed thankfully.

All things considered, the boys were fabulous, too. By the time they finally got to eat lunch, it had been a full 18+ hours since they had last had food. They didn't complain once about being hungry the entire time we were there. (They did, however, complain about the nurse trying to take their vitals and looking in their direction in general, but that doesn't count. They have a pretty healthy fear of all things in a white coat. Poor guys.)

Our neurosurgeon appointment went well. I could see from the scans before the doctor came into the room that things looked good. (What? You can't read a CT scan of your kids' head? Ahem.) Ja.son's scan showed no change from 2009. Sh.awn's showed marked improvement from 2009. Whoot! We don't have to go back for another scan/maintenance appointment for two years. That was music to my ears, let me tell you.

It was a full ten hours out of our day for two 30 second scans and less than 10 minutes with the doctor.

I am so happy we just keep ticking these appointments off like they are nothing. A girl could get used to this. :-) Next up is Sh.awn's pre-op appointment and Ja.son's follow-up eye exam. Then a blissful clear schedule until Sh.awn's eye surgery on the 27th. Yeah.

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*I always see the asshole doctor at these appointments, even though we are actually patients of the head of the department and not him. Still, he is there. We'll see him in the background...walking around the office...on the phone. The sight of him makes me instantly furious. I hate that man with a passion that is almost scary.

He wasn't in the office today. I was worried we'd run into him on the elevator again. Nope. We had almost made it out of the building before we ran into him. Like literally, we were in the doorway leaving the office building when he walked up to the door. He remembers me, too. I feel honored. Not. Is it sad that it made me satisfied that he was really gray and wrinkly for someone who is the same age as me?

**I spotted bright red the entire time we were at the hospital. Then nothing. Nothing today either. Cramping stopped last night. Not sure what that was all about.

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I posted some cute pictures of the boys on the other blog if you're interested. :-)

Pooped

The big shower for my BIL and SIL was Saturday.

In the end, I got roped into doing much more than I wanted to do by the other SIL, H--financially, mentally, and physically. I couldn't figure out a way to get out of everything without causing issues and taking the fun out of the day for the happy couple.

I felt a bit like this:










Ja.son's in the jumpy house with M, H's daughter. Notice the grip she has around Jay's neck. He isn't quite sure if he supposed to be having fun or not.











When the grip tightens, it all becomes clear. Nope. Not exactly fun.* (Notice her smile. She is quite the...joy to be around. Ahem)

Yep. That sums it up perfectly.

On top of else, it was our first real outing with everyone for any extended length of time. Holy Hell that wore me out. Keeping track of the big boys at a park filled with 200!!!! people was a lot of work. (yes, 200!!!! people came to this shower. I knew less than 20 of them.) It was fairly cold and windy too, so I held Jack for much of the time while I froze.

I am sore everywhere! Still today even.

BIL and SIL had a good time and were just glowing the entire day. That is really all that matters in the end. I am still over the moon for them--after 20 years of waiting, they'll have the baby they longed for in a few short weeks! So exciting!

*I did not take the pictures. I was pulling M off of the boys all day, and I wouldn't have allowed Jay to be in the jumper with M in the first place. These pics were from M's mother! (shakes head at the cluelessness of that woman) Is.aac was there but not watching at this point.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Mom and the Tank Appointments

Tank and I had our 6 week check-ups.

My IBS stress diet has me 5 pounds under my starting weight for the pregnancy. Even my iron deficiency is starting to turn for the better.

All looks good for me.

The OB asked about birth control, which I declined. He just about fell off of his chair when I told him I wasn't sure if we were done yet...

Well, I am not sure!

Is.aac tries not to hear that right now. Sigh.

The OB's parting words were something about seeing him in 3 months when I am pregnant. If only it was that easy. (As an aside, he found lots of scar tissue during my section. Apparently it grew back fast--my section was exactly one year from the date of my lap. He said it was particularly bad around my left tube and entire left side. It's all cleaned it all up, but the fact that it came back so quickly leaves me worried.)

Mr. Tank is doing well. He measured in at 23.5 inches for 75-90th %ile on length (he wasn't cooperating, so it is likely a bit more) and 13 pounds (99th %ile). My boy does like him some food. 

He also got three shots and an oral vaccine. Poor guy. He took it like a trooper and only cried a tiny bit, but he has been a crab ever since. It may be a long night for me. He has his whooping cough booster in 4 weeks and then no appointments until the end of July.

Oh man does the fact we don't have to go to the doctor every minute with him blow me away. (If you don't have a medically fragile child, you just don't understand how all consuming those doctor appointments are.)

I know just how lucky we are with Ja.ckson. He truly is an easy baby. He cries when he's hungry, and that is pretty much it. He's sleeping 3-4.5 hours at night. I don't expect it to take long for that to lengthen as he's finally ready to up his feeds a bit. But the best part is he's smiling and starting to coo. Ah, I love it.

It's just...amazing to have this experience.



 

Yet Another Appointment

We just keep ticking them off our list. Next up is neurosurgery with CT scans. Then is Sh.awn's strabismus surgery at the end of the month. So much for a nice relaxing maternity leave...

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Today we had the boys' neurology appointment. I generally hate these appointment and am a nervous wreck before we get there (my current digestive issues will attest), but I was once again pleasantly surprised.

He focused on their strengths. We discussed their weaknesses, but it wasn't the focus of the appointment. I am so tired of hearing about their struggles--they are so much more than that! I have to say that subtle shift in approach is such a relief. (Why is it that so many people fail to recognize that?)

The word "miraculous" came up again as we were discussing them. Ah...such a wonderful word, especially when used to describe my kids.

I even walked away with some interesting information about how Sh.awn's brain. We have proof that his brain is compensating for that initial damage. More music to my ears. :-)

For the last two appointments, this doctor has closed with the observation that things could have (and probably should have) been very difficult for my little guys. Epilepsy and mental retardation were two very real possibilities for them because of their bleeds.* We have neither. Sure, we are dealing with the CP, and it isn't always a picnic.

But this doctor thought their quality of life would be grossly impacted. He doesn't directly say it, but it hangs in the air.

He said that my guys are testament to why they do whatever they can for micro preemies with IVHs. You just never can tell what their future will hold.

I think the future looks pretty damn bright.

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On the way to the parking lot, I had turned to Is.aac and said that this doctor didn't have very high hopes for the boys when they were in the NICU. I was glad I didn't know that at the time.

Is.aac said that no one did at the time. Once their bleeds were discovered, he said that the nurses had told him things about DNR orders. They thought the boys would be severely disabled, especially Sh.awn, and told him so.

I didn't know that. No one said anything to me, not even Is.aac.

Poor Is.aac. What a heavy thing to hold in your heart.

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*Intraventricular Hemorrhages (IVHs) is described in four grades. After the first head u/s both boys were discovered to have IVHs. Ja.son had bilateral grade 3 IVHs. In other words, bleeding occurred in both ventricles and the ventricles were enlarged by the blood. Sh.awn had a grade 4 and a grade 2. A grade 4 bleed means that the ventricles were enlarged and bleeding had moved into the brain tissue surrounding the ventricles. Grades 1 and 2 are the most common and usually result in few further complications. Grades 3 and 4 are the most serious and can lead to long term brain injury.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day has always been a day of mixed feelings, my emotions caught somewhere between longing and enjoyment.

In a strange way, I didn't feel like I belonged in either world. How could I continue to long for another child when I had my boys? So many people were still trying to have one child, and here I was with twins. And yet, I didn't feel like I was done trying to expand my family.

In the past, Mother's Day hasn't always been a happy day. On my first Mother's Day, Sh.awn was in the hospital with Is.aac awaiting surgery, while I was home with Ja.son. It wasn't even acknowledged. The years after that were spent waiting for the unknown and filled to some extent with the fear that something bad was about to happen. As if that wasn't enough, I guilted myself into believing that I didn't deserve a day to honor me as a mother.

I am amazingly good at torturing myself.

This year, I opened myself to truly enjoy the celebration. And you know what? It was nice to not have to hold myself back, just in case.

(Notice our tea set in the background. We love us some tea parties around here.)

I had a wonderfully quiet day with my family, just the way I wanted it. Go figure.

It still shocks me to see how great life can be when you open yourself up to live it. It isn't perfect, and it isn't always easy, but is is great.

I am very blessed.

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Lastly, I wanted to wish a Happy Mother's Day to all of you mommies, whether your babies are here on earth, in heaven, or still in your hearts.

Two of My Guys

Can we all just say, "Aw"?

Makes me want to have ten more...(shhh. Is.aac isn't ready to hear that yet.)

Friday Night Leftovers

• I don't know how it started, but mommy has to kiss the boo boos the big boys get. Usually, it is no big deal. I am fortunate that the boys are not climbers or much for rough housing, so often the "boo boos" are minor things.
• Today, Ja.son bit his tongue. He was not satisfied until I kissed his boo boo.
• Ew.
• I am thinking it is time to reevaluate this little plan of ours.

• Tomorrow is the day we are getting serious about potty training Ja.son. It's time. We have made the plan for a prize and everything. He is jazzed right now. We'll see how he feels about it in the morning. (Sh.awn is also going to try if he wants, but he's just in a different place right now, so I don't know if he is ready yet.)
• Wish me luck.

• There's a hummingbird making a nest in the macadamia tree right outside our sliding glass door. It is the cutest little thing.
• He comes to the door to "talk" to the cats. I swear he comes and hovers at the door while the cats do their "eh, eh, eh" noises.
• I wonder if the hummingbird would attack them if they were outside?
• My cats would lose their shit if it did. Their idea of playing with nature is to catch the random fly that enters the house.

• My plan of pretending to be asleep so Is.aac has to get up to feed the baby at 4:00 am backfired last night. He was "asleep" too. It was a battle of wills.
• He won.
• Grrr.

• My poor sub at school, G, is having a horrible time with my kids. They are being awful--not doing work, being little shits (said with love), and many of them are failing.
• G is my former student teacher. She is a great teacher. She does have some things to learn with discipline, but that kind of thing often doesn't fall into place until you are on your own. Looks like now she is finally getting the chance to work on it.
• G is trying so hard with the kids. She's enlisted the help of the admin only to have the kids act even worse the next day. (I told her that says more about the admin than it does about her.)
• She's had parents call and cuss her out.
• I feel so bad for her. She isn't the type of person to just throw up her hands and say forget it. She made the commitment to me, so I know she'd stay until I return.
• She has said that she sees this job as a learning experience. (She's learning a lot of what not to do in the future.)
• But man they are making her suffer.
• As an aside, they were not angels for me at all, but they wouldn't dare try any of the stuff they are pulling on her when I am there.
• I worry that this is some misguided loyalty to me.
• Sigh.
• I hope G doesn't hate me at the end of this.

• The last time I was on maternity leave, we had the shooting.
• I am a tiny bit afraid that something big will happen while I am gone this time, too.
• Control freak much? Me?

• I did learn that we will lose our principal next year. He's going up to the District Office.
• My district likes to hire from within for principal positions.
• There is no one in the district I'd like to have as a new principal. (I do a lot at the school, so I would have to work closely with the new hire.)
• Hiring outside of the district is also scary. The last two they've hired from outside have been horrible.

• I managed to avoid my SIL today. Yeah! Hoping tomorrow I'll be two for two. :-)

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Stop by here and see what everyone else is having. Don't forget to wish Danifred a happy birthday while you're there!

Friday Confessional

Thought I'd try this one today. Check out here if you want to participate yourself. :-)

I Confess...

Through an email notification, I found out my wackjob SIL posted on FB (again with the FB! I live 5 minutes away from you. Pick up the freaking phone already.) that she and her daughter wanted to come visit sometime today. I am purposely not going on FB until well into tomorrow if at all, so I don't have to answer her. Ahem.

I Confess...

The last three nights I have pretended to not hear the baby cry at his 3:00 am feeding so my husband has to get up to do it. I think I may become a very deep sleeper at that time from here on out.

That is really bad, right?

I should feel guilty, right?

Yeah. I don't.

I Confess...

I have no idea what I am going to buy my mother for Mother's Day. The only thing I have thought about getting her is waaaaay out of our agreed upon price range. Now I have nothing.

I Confess...

I have eaten an entire bag of Riesen chocolates in three days. We're talking about the one pound bag. Those things are highly addictive, but oh so good.

Ja.son took one and has been playing with it for the last few days. He's using it as luggage for the top of his matchbox car. He's played with it long enough to melt it some and it's now misshapen.

Now that I've eaten all the rest, Ja.son's is the very last one.

And I want that thing bad...half melted and all.

When I tell him tomorrow that the cat ate it, don't rat me out.

Okay?

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So what do you have to confess? Come on. Let's hear it!

Eval #2

Today was Sh.awn's day to be evaluated by the state agency. In some ways it was better than I expected. In some ways, it was worse.

I have been nervous about both Ja.son's and Sh.awn's evaluations. So much so, my IBS has been in overdrive the last two weeks, and I've lost three pounds. Yet, while I was worried about Ja.son's turn, it wasn't the same kind of worry I held in my heart for Sh.awn's appointment.

Sh.awn is my wild card. Detailing his history always, always gets the same kind of looks. It is a combination of pity and horror. It makes me sick to my stomach to see that look, even though I guess I can understand why it comes. It isn't the norm to hear what I have to say. Not even for the professionals who deal with kiddos in our situation.

Not very many parents have to say that their kids have had ten fucking brain (plus two hernia) surgeries before they were two.

But that look triggers always something in me. The guilt floods back. The doubts. The fear of what lies ahead. It makes me want to grab him and run.

Sigh.

He was his charming self, wanting to go straight to just about every person there. My boy will melt your heart, he will.

They were impressed with his mad alphabet and counting skills.

Then the talk of what he can do started.

My heart hurt a little more with each no.

I had to consciously bite my tongue from constantly saying, "but..." after every question (although I did more than they probably wanted to hear).

Then questions about things that don't apply in his situation, and the feeling like they don't quite believe me when I answer.

Does he chew with both sides of his mouth? Does he drool? How is he with this? Or that?

They read a diagnosis and see his arm and think the worst.

And in my head I know they need to ask these questions. Some kids struggle in all areas and there is such a wide variety of limitations that kids can have.

But my heart starts to wonder if these professionals are friends, like we hope for, or foes. I am trying to decide if they will help us in the way that we need or if they will be yet another obstacle we have to clear.

Will they be naysayers?

More people we have to prove ourselves to?

A waste of our time for them to concentrate on the peripheral?

I hope not.

I hate that I have such a distrust of the people who should be there to help us. It would be nice if I could relax and feel confident that those who should know would do what is needed.

Still, we have to try, as scary as it is. I have to trust.

I have to believe.

Without that faith, I might never get to see sights like this.





For him, I believe anything is possible. My job is to figure out the way to help him get there.

That Elusive Smile

I've been trying to capture his smile for days. This one still doesn't do justice to what he actually looks like when he lets loose. Enjoy!




I can't believe he'll be 5 weeks old tomorrow. How can that be? It's going too fast!

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What Have We Been Up To?

I could tell you about the sweet little Coach bag I picked up at the mall on Sunday. (Happy Mother's Day to me!) I could even tell you about the awesome deal I got on it. (25% and another 20% - woooohooo)

I could tell you about going out to lunch with my sister friends and having a wonderful time.

I could tell you about the new computer Is.aac gave me for my birthday. It is leaner and meaner than my little Toshiba I was using before. I heart it.

I could tell you about how Ja.ck consistently slept for four hours in a row two nights ago and how I happy I was that I was going to finally get more sleep. And then I could tell you that he went back to waking up every two and  half hours the next night. :-)

I could also tell you about how my heart swells every single time Ja.ckson flashes his toothless grin at me. I could even tell you how my eyes flood with tears when he starts to coo back to me when I talked to him.

I could tell you that Sh.awn has been quizzing me on the alphabet. He'll ask me to tell him the letter names and sounds to see if I know them. If I give him a wrong answer, he is delighted to correct me. When I ask him the same questions back without first answering, he'll give me all the correct answers and is even adding new words daily for each sound. Words we haven't talked about at all!

I could tell you that Ja.son had his state agency evaluation today. I could add how inherently wrong I find it that I have to take my child to "experts" to have him analyzed and picked apart...how it hurts me to know that I am subjecting him to any kind of judgement like that.

I could tell you how nervous I was about taking him there...

Or I could tell you how awesome he did.

Let's just say he "Rocked IT!"

But what I want to share with you is the unbelievable pride that almost overwhelmed me when I saw this...




My boy is amazing. He is trying to run there. RUN.

RUN!!!!!

You may not understand why that little thing could almost bring me to my knees. Kids do it every single day.

The thing is...

...now I know for SURE that my kid will too.

Plans have been started. Some referrals are in the works. It won't be long now.

I know that in my heart.

My kid is going to do it to.

I am beyond excited!

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Sh.awn's evaluation appointment is Wednesday.