Our BIG One is the BIG 1!

So here it is. The day our big one turns 1. I just can't believe it's already here.

Here Jack is looking all mature. I keep telling him
not to let his age go to his head. He doesn't look a day over
11 months.

I've got my hat on. Now it's time to par-tay.

Happy Birthday, Jack!
What do you think of your cake?

What's the matter, buddy? That's not a look of
happiness on that sweet face of yours.

That's called "frosting." It's really yummy. You should
put it in your mouth...and stop looking at it like it's
going to attack you!

Good idea. Maybe it will be better if you use your other hand.

He's not pleased with it on his right hand, either.
This kid is a tough one to please!

Not a fan of the white stuff.

Get it off, please. I don't like it!

Hm. Well, maybe it does taste okay.

The money shot of Jack and the cake.
Seriously. This is the only time he smiled!
Like I said, he is not a fan.

Well, maybe I'll try it again just to make sure I don't like it.

Yuck! NO! I don't like it!

But Jason sure does!

Jack later decided that he's a civilized young man.
He prefers a fork, thank you very much.

Cake is MUCH better that way.

All smiles after some yummy cake!
And then he threw up yummy cake. Oopsie.

It's presents time...
Jack is beyond thrilled!

It's time to open a present from grandma!
Jack could have cared less about gifts.
Jason, on the other hand, thought Jack was crazy for
not being more interested in the whole gift thing.

Jack by his gifts he got from mommy and daddy.

Oh wow! A shape sorter!

Look, mommy! It has doors that open!

Yea! An orange block.
You can get rid of the shape sorter, mommy.

A Weebles car!
Jason thinks he needs to check it out and make sure it works.

A bus!
Hey mommy, this is pretty cool.

But this orange block is the BEST!

Shawn's trying to tidy up the place. Jack is a sloppy
gift opener. (I have no idea where he gets that.)

Good big brother, Jason, is testing out Jack's new toys.
He tested them for the rest of the evening.
Now that is a dedicated big brother.

Mommy and Jack in his hat!

Daddy with Jack in his hat.

All tuckered out from his fun filled day.
He found that he just can't party like he used to when he was younger.

Happy Birthday, Jack! We love you very much!

Core Beliefs

(a similar post is on the boys' blog, but I do have different beliefs listed here)

Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 had a great post this week about her core beliefs. I thought I'd join in and post some of my own core beliefs. (in no particular order)

•I believe that a good game of chase is sometimes all it takes to brighten your day.
•I believe in snuggles and lots of hugs and kisses.
•I believe that "helpful hints" are only helpful when you've asked for them. At any other time, it's just meddling and annoying.
•I believe that the person who discovered chocolate has a special place in heaven.
•I believe that kisses can make things all better.
•I believe in advocating for yourself and your loved ones even when it makes you feel uncomfortable. If you don't do it for yourself, no one else will.
•I believe that we are shaped by our experiences, not defined by them.
•I believe that doctors are only human and do not have all the answers.
•I believe in intuition and going with my gut.
•I believe that statistics are worthless. Someone has to be on the wrong side of the odds...I've been on that side far too often.
•I believe in the strength of the human spirit.
•I believe that determination and a strong will are good things (although they can frustrate the heck out of me).
•I believe in the importance of "quiet time" even if your children do not nap.
•I believe that my children's laughter is one of the best sounds in the entire world.
•I believe in the healing powers of summer and spring break. :-)
•I believe in doing your best when you've made a commitment to someone.
•I believe little boys in glasses is the cutest thing ever!
•I believe unwinding in front of the television after a long, hard day is okay. So is reading a great book. So is a nice nap.
•I believe that teething is a major baby design flaw.
•I believe in the power of caffeine to turn the day around.
•I believe in little splurges when you find something you like.
•I believe in organization. I just wish I was better at it.
•I believe that a hot shower is one of the best things I can do for myself.
•I believe that "dressy" means wearing my good pair of jeans.
•I believe in giving back where I can. (Like the March of Dimes! Help me reach my goal!)
•I believe in imagination and pretending.
•I believe in taking lots and lots of pictures.
•I also believe in never deleting the outtakes.
•I believe that time speeds by way too fast.
•I believe I am very lucky to have such an amazing husband and boys.

What are your core beliefs? I'd love for you to share them in the comments.

Friday Night Leftovers

• Well, I am now on antibiotic number three. My intestinal issues became more of the "explosive" variety, and I could no longer subject myself to it. The big D for over a week does not a happy body make. Sigh.
• I am feeling better I think. It's hard to tell for sure. I don't fall asleep at the drop of a hat now.
• I had a pretty intense experience at work this week. It left me pretty rattled. I am working on writing it up in a post.
• Today, Sh.awn decided that he needed to crawl under his bed and hide. Unfortunately, he has a big noggin. Somehow he managed to wedge his head between the bed and the floor. Ja.son took the opportunity to jump on the bed before I was able to untangle myself from under Jack and get there.
• Let's just say there was much crying, a crying boy on the naughty chair, and a funky forehead bruise by the time all was said and done.
• Jack's birthday is less than a week away. I am freaking out. How can my baby be so old?
• I think Ja.son is now able to read some words. New words. Without pictures. He can also accurately tell me the hour and half hour times on a clock. Blows my mind.
• Now I am second guessing my plan of keeping them out of school until the 2013-14 school year. They managed to make the deadline (Nov. 1) by 4 days, so technically they could start kinder this year. Ja.son is ready. I'm not sure if Sh.awn is. And I don't want to split them.
• They'd be the youngest in the class. They are boys. They have CP. Those three things together could mean bad news if they start this year. Or not.
• Keeping them out this year would let them have another year of maturation and therapy. They'd be the older kids in the class, rather than the youngest...
• I guess I have more thinking to do on the matter.
• I have a date with some girlfriends this weekend. We are going out to lunch and shopping. I am wildly excited. Yea!
• My cat has it out for me. She has now puked in two shoes. When I say puked in my shoes, I mean only in my shoes. WTF? There was nothing on the ground around the shoes. She didn't even really get any puke on the outside of the shoes. How the hell did she manage to get puke in BOTH of my damn shoes?
• I think the better question is why didn't she puke in Is.aac's shoes instead? :-)

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers.

Parents of Preemies Day

(Cross posted on the boys' blog)

Today is a special day. This day has been set aside for the first Parents of Preemies Day!

Nearly 13 million babies, or about 10% of total worldwide births, are born prematurely each year. Nearly one million infants die each year as a result of pre-term birth, or about 28% of all deaths that occur within the first month of life.

When a baby is born extremely premature, parents find their world turned upside down, sometimes faced with life and death decisions, while facing an uncertain future for their baby. Experts are just beginning to understand the intense psychological effects that a premature birth has on the parents.

We are launching the first-ever Parents of Preemies Day to continue to build support for parents by recognizing the courage and commitment it takes to stay strong and resilient when premature birth turns a family's world upside down.
http://parentsofpreemiesday.org/main.html

Prematurity does turn a family's world upside down. It spins it, tosses it in the air, and then stomps on it if you really want to know the truth. You face each day with the belief that your children will have a better day than the last. Many days that happens. There are often just as many days when it doesn't. Still, you focus on each success as getting your kids that much closer to the goal--home in your arms. You do it every day...not because you want to. No one wants to have their children born too soon. You do it because you have to. You stay strong because there is no other option. You face each day because there are little people who need you.

Many of you were with us in spirit while we struggled through life in the NICU. You saw the challenges we faced. You cheered us on. You sent us love. You kept us in your prayers. It is humbling to think about how much we were cared for then and now.

With your support, we were able to conquer the NICU!

Life in the NICU, however, doesn't come without a cost. As a parent, especially when you've had a NICU stay as long as we did, it's easy to leave the experience bruised and battered. I know I was. (Hell I was broken. In some ways, even after all this time I'm still putting myself back together.) After an experience such as ours, healing isn't just something for the preemies themselves. Healing must come for everyone in the family.

I am so glad that this day has been created to celebrate Parents of Preemies. Acknowledging that the NICU experience is one of the most difficult experiences a family can face can make that healing just a little bit easier.

Visit the Parents of Preemies Facebook page to show your support. While you're there, read some of the preemie stories of hope that are posted on their wall. You'll be blown away.

---

Our boys are strong, resilient, and amazing! Through living with them, parenting them, learning from them...they make me a better person.

They remind me every day how blessed we truly are.

Friday Night Leftovers - Coming Out of the Haze

• I am finally back among the living, although I have to admit that I was wondering if I'd ever get here.
• I found out that I am one of the lucky percentage of people who have adverse effects from the antibiotic I was taking. Let's just say that hives and a decent bout of intestinal woes make your doctor twitchy and you get new antibiotics. BUT...new antibiotics will simply mean the hives will go, leaving you with the intestinal woes.
• Ahem. At least my head, teeth, and face stopped hurting. That is something.
• I am so far behind on my blog reading/responding.
• I really want to go back to The Smartness and respond to her posts about "Emotional Infertility." (here) I have been thinking about it ever since I read it. Considering how fuzzy my brain has been for the last week, that is saying a lot.
• I ordered Jack's invitations for his party. Now I need to move on to figuring out decorations, food, and what not. The theme is "Our big one is turning the BIG 1!"
• Any ideas of what I can do to play this theme out?
• Got an email asking for clarification about the grant I applied for. It looks like we've potentially got somewhere between $10,000 and $20,000! Whoot! Feels good to know that something I did may possibly be recognized. (Fingers crossed that we do get the funding.)
• A Superintendent for our district called me "smart" today. And he didn't mean it as if I was a "smart ass." Felt good. I think he may actually believe that, too! Too bad that doesn't translate into a higher pay. Sigh.
• Well hell. My cat just puked on my bed. Grrr. Seriously. How hard is it to jump off the damn bed before you throw up a fur ball? Guess I need to throw the bedspread in the washer.
• It's going to be a nice, rainy weekend--perfect for curling up on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate and a freshly washed blanket. Ahh...

I leave you with this.

Any guesses as to what it is?

No, it's not a hot dog and a bun. That would be too easy.

If you said a boat with a mast, you're correct! I am told it's missing the sail. lol. I can't look at this thing without laughing my head off. My boys can't figure out why I find it so funny. Heh, heh. I swear I am an eternal junior high kid. Oh well!

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers!

I finally made it to the doctor today. I've hit the jackpot! Sinus infection + sore teeth that I can barely stand to chew with + "not quite an ear infection" but looks pretty close + pink eye (conjunctivitis). I'm a lucky girl, right?

No wonder I've felt so crummy. It's odd that I feel at least a bit better knowing that I actually did have a reason to feel so bad. I was starting to think I was wimping out or something. This crud didn't hit anyone else this hard...

Now off to bed for more sleep.

Glad That Week's Over

My brain is fried. I am working on a pretty major sinus infection (and all the fun that goes along with it) so I am not up to even considering trying to form coherent paragraphs. Forgive the bullets, if you would.

• I think I lost last week. Well, I knew it was happening while it was happening, but it just sort of disappeared before I had a chance to stop and breathe. It has been one of those weeks.
• Somewhere around Tuesday my head started hurting. It didn't improve for the rest of the week. Finally have had some relief today.
• I suppose it might be coincidental that I finally opened an email I received last week about the grant and learned that the proposal was due in three days. I finished it on time, but still. Was. Not. Fun.
• AF started on Wednesday afternoon. Bleh. I'm fairly certain the scar tissue is back in earnest again. Ouch.
• I think that was the same night that my teeth started to bother me. Never fails. Sinus infections always bother my teeth.
• Got called a "rap.ist" among other pretty ugly things in a student note that I intercepted. (Why you ask? Because I make students come in after school when they don't do what they need to do.) Struggled with how to deal with the fact that my friends, who are now my bosses, didn't handle the issue the way I felt it needed to be handled. Tried hard not to let this one incident change my perceptions about them as people. Finally got the student moved from my class. I think he'll be moved at least.
• Jack's Angel Care monitor went off, and not just the warning beep, Monday night. Scared the shit out of me. It woke me up from a dead sleep. I flew out of bed into his room. He was smooshed up in the corner of his crib, so it is plausible that the monitor couldn't pick up his movements and he was really fine, but I didn't sleep the rest of the night. Or Tuesday. Or much Wednesday. That damn thing is a great way to work the PTSD.
• Then there was all the internet drama going on. Good grief. I still haven't figured out how I feel about all of that.

• We did decide on what we'll do for Jack's birthday, so at least that is something good.

Umm...

So what does one do for a child's first birthday party? I want to throw one for Jack, but I am seriously at a loss for what to do. I even have an idea for which invitations I'd pick, but I can't even decide on a freaking time. Is 3 pm too late?

Suggestions?

What kind of things do you guys do? What did you enjoy when you went to one?

Sigh. I am no good at this kind of thing.

I Hate It When They Hit Their Heads.

In the end, we didn't even go to the party today. Is.aac got some frantic calls and texts from his boss at about noon saying the company website had been hacked. He went off to work to fix the problem and didn't return until the party itself had been underway for three hours. (There is no way I was going to schlep everyone over to this party without him--it's a cousin on his side not mine.) Once I factored in getting everyone ready and driving the half an hour to get there, I decided it was just not going to happen.

We ended up spending a nice quiet day hanging out at home. Four-fifth of us stayed in our jammies all day long. The fifth one changed back into his once we had decided not to go. I love days like this.

The only snafu was that Sh.awn decided to take a head dive off of the couch onto the linoleum covered, cement floor. I was in the kitchen and heard the thud. Ugh. My heart jumped to my throat. As an aside, I managed to drop what I was doing and get to Sh.awn before Is.aac did, even though he was only 5 feet away from him! I just don't understand him sometimes.

I hate, hate, hate it when they hit their heads. It's more than just goose eggs or concussions we have to worry about. We get the added fun of hoping that the blow didn't affect a shunt. From what I can tell from the goose egg he did get, he managed to miss them both--not a small feat when you have two shunts to avoid. He also seemed to be acting normally after about a half an hour or so. I figure I'll wake him up before I go to bed just to check that he is still okay.

He's going to love me for that!

Friday Night Leftovers

• Been another one of those tough weeks at work. The kind of week in which this thought "Why am I teaching?" was frequent. The kind of week that reminds me that I work in the freaking 'hood.
• So, so, SO glad it is the weekend.
• Hoping next week is calmer and far less intense.

• We have a 1st birthday party to go to tomorrow for a cousin. I am torn about it.
• The birthday girl is exactly 27 days older than Jack, yet she has reached every single milestone LONG before Jack has.
• That in itself doesn't bother me in the least. The issue lies in the fact that the birthday girl's mom likes to point out how ADVANCED her child is and then just sort of lets her voice fade out when she talks about Jack in this oh poor you kind of way. "J has been walking since 9 months old!! Oh, Jack has just started to pull up? ..."
• Let's face it, no one wants to have her child come out as the loser in a comparison. After feeling that way over and over again in reference to the big boys, I will admit to being slightly a bit more than I'd care to admit sensitive to comparisons.
• I try to tell myself that she doesn't realize what she is doing. At least I hope she doesn't, because I really do like her. I'd hate to have to change that opinion.
• Tomorrow should be interesting.

• Got our tax refund. Yea!

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers!