There is a teacher at school who subscribes to the theory of personality is influenced by birth order. Every year she polls all of her students and notes each child's birth order. Every year I hear about the class full of last born students who "never do their homework and always play around," or the class of mostly first born students who totally rock and are overachievers.
Usually I paste a look of interest on my face and then retreat to the inner workings of my mind (or mentally play Scramble because I am odd like that) and half listen to her talk. She'll drone on until she has had her say and then moves on to her next
target friend with whom to chat. I'll go on my merry way and pretty much forget what it was she wasted ten minutes of my time telling me.*
Today, though, something she said (and sadly I'm not even sure what it was), caught my attention and made me start thinking about birth order--in particular, how birth order relates to my own family.
I am the youngest of three. My two older brothers are eight years older than me. Both of them had left the house by the time I was in sixth grade. I always said growing up that it was more like I was an only child rather than the baby of the family. When I checked what the birth order characteristics of an only child are, they described how others perceive me and maybe, if I am honest, how I see myself.
Is.aac is also the youngest of three, although there is only three years between him and his oldest brother. He exhibits the characteristics of the CLASSIC youngest child. Seriously. It's freaky how accurately it pegged him.
Sh.awn is our first born, a distinction that I am actually glad was bestowed on him. He's had a hard time, but he continues to persevere and fight. He has a strong personality and loves for things to go just his way. He is my rebel. If I say not to do something, he will look me in the eye and turn to do just what I told him not to do. But he is also the one who everyone remembers because he can charm the pants off of anyone.
Ja.son is the dominant one, the little parent. It is Ja.son who decides what they are going to do or where they will play. He is the enforcer, and will tell his brothers that they should be doing this or that or if they continue to break the rule they will have to go on the naughty chair. He is my people pleaser, instantly crying if he thinks he has disappointed. He does not like to fail at what he does, so he often will study a topic/skill for a long time before attempting it.
According to the
birth order theory, the first born could be described as the people pleaser, the leader, the bossy know-it-all, and behave as if he is the one in charge. The middle child can be described as independent, rebellious, sociable, and engaging in attention seeking behaviors.
In our family, the characteristics the boys display seem to be opposite of what you might think based on their birth order. Sh.awn acts like the middle child, not the oldest child he is. Ja.son acts like the oldest and not the middle child.
It is no surprise to me that they do not fit into the mold of how they'd be expected to behave. When have my boys ever been cookie cutter? lol
It makes me wonder how much of the dominance Ja.son displays is due to him being a few months ahead of Sh.awn developmentally. (Ja.son has always been 6 months or so ahead of Sh.awn developmentally. The idea is that Sh.awn has to focus more on moving his body, therefore he is a bit slower to reach developmental milestones.)
And then there is Mr. Jack. I am already seeing that he is going to be the daredevil of the crew. He knows how to get the attention he wants and is very effective at getting said attention. Even as young as he is, he is already acting like the youngest child this theory describes.
While I am not ready to believe this theory as the be all, end all, it does give me something to think about. I think if nothing else, I need to make sure that I am aware of the strengths and weaknesses my boys' personalities and try to give them opportunities to become as well rounded as possible.
Which, you know, we are all trying to do anyway, right?
So what do you think? Do you agree with the theory of birth order shaping the personalities of children in a family? If you have multiples, do you think this theory accurately describes their relationship in your family? And lastly, do you think the birth order characteristics accurately describe you? I'd love to hear your input.
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*That makes me sound horrible, but seriously. She is ALWAYS talking, so much so that I can rarely get a word in myself. She creates this time where she corners people and then insists that we listen until she's had her say. Sigh.
**
Here is an interesting article I found on the topic of Birth order and twins. I think I like this explanation of what may be happening with Sh.awn and Ja.son.
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