Blows. My. Mind,

It's going so fast. I just want to slow it down and savor every moment...

Random Pictures from Tonight

This week is shaping up to be a long, hard one. I'm choosing to leave all the crap at work and focus on the three little people in my life...

Ja.son's "towing" the ornament with his motorcycle to the Christmas tree.
Isn't that how all ornaments make it to the tree?
Just walking it over is SOOOO last year...

Apparently we don't feed this boy enough.
He's now taken to eating toys.

This boy just got kissed by his mommy.
He's telling me that my kisses are yucky.
And he's totally laughing about it. :)

They remind me that even when things are tough, my life is very, very good. I am so very lucky.

Friday Night Leftovers

• People, it is only Friday! I am so excited that there are two more days to the weekend!

--- That was all I finished yesterday before I crashed. Sigh.

• The Sick continues to hang around. The boys are mostly over it now; they just have lingering coughs. I am still on the runny side and coughing. Bleh.
• My in-laws want to come visit tomorrow. I am torn about whether I want them to or not. I'd like to put up our Christmas tree. And...well...they are Jehovah Witnesses.
• After all this time, I still struggle with how to deal with our family's traditions versus their beliefs.
• For some reason, because it is Is.aac's family involved, I feel like I have to make nice and keep them happy. Ugh.
• I think if it were my family who were the witnesses, I'd just do our thing and let them deal with it. It wouldn't even be an issue for me.
• Is.aac is no help in the matter either. He just doesn't get that there should be a problem. His feeling is that if they don't like it, they just won't visit.
• That idea sort of pains me. I'd feel like I am the reason he never sees his family. If I make nice and am accommodating, then it is their (both his and his family's) fault that they never see each other.
• You know, because it is SO hard to connect with people regularly when they live a WHOLE 5 minutes away.
• Ahem.
• Thanksgiving was nice and quiet. We had our turkey. The boys had their hot dogs. Ja.son wouldn't try anything on the table. Sh.awn had quite a bit, but still wanted a hot dog at the end. Whatever. Makes more food for me.
• I did not brave the black Friday sales. I did a little online searching for things but didn't buy. I am in denial that I will actually have to purchase things. I just don't have the energy this year.

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday/weekend.

Stop by Danifred's for more leftovers.

This and That

I am in love with this picture of Jack. OMG does it make me laugh! I had to print it and take it to work so I can keep giggling at it.

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I have succumbed to the Sick. If I could only detach my head nose from my body for the next 24 hours, I would be so happy. I considered wishing I could just turn my nose so my nostrils face up, but I figure I'd just drown in my own snot, and well, that's just plain gross. Plus "drowning in own snot" would be super embarrassing on my death certificate.

---

Sh.awn has found his will. Unfortunately for me, he is just as stubborn as I am, only he has a much louder and sharper voice. It is an effective weapon, that voice, I tell you that. He is armed and he isn't afraid to use it.

He is the sweetest little love bug as long as everything goes his way most of the time.

But holy hell does he turn into a demon the second he perceives that things are not going his way and out comes the scream (the scream that takes aim straight for the center of my brain and stabs me repeatedly).

Ugh. I am at my wit's end with him.

I am trying to be consistent (taking him to another room and walk away) and not let him see how much it drives me crazy (oh.my.gawd. does it drive me crazy to hear that scream!), but it doesn't stop.

This boy seriously needs an "off" switch.

---

The best news of the week is that they settled the case! There will be no retrial. It saddens me to think that he'll be my age when he is finally released from prison, though. While I do feel that the sentence is fair, and I do believe that he should be punished for what he did, I worry that he won't get the help he needs to deal with whatever is going on in that head of his. I worry about what kind of life he will have when he is released.

There was so much promise there...for both of them.

Promise that vanished with a horrible act.

Sigh. I hope that the healing will continue now that the threat of testifying has been removed from the equation.

(Not trying to be cryptic, but as usual I don't want the details linked to here. If you are curious, email me and I'll send you a link to a news article.)

Friday Night Leftovers

• All the little people around here are still sick. I think that Ja.son has turned the corner for the most part, although he has started a yucky cough. Sh.awn still has the congested voice, but he isn't running anymore and thankfully hasn't started a cough. Poor Ja.ck has it all. He got it last, so he is still in the thick of things.
• I heart baby Vick's vapor rub. It has saved poor Ja.ck.
• Sh.awn sounds so cute with his sick voice. It kind of cracks when he talks, too. I think it is a preview of the pubescent voice to come during his teenage years. :-)
• Is.aac and I have still managed to dodge whatever this crap is. Dare I hope we manage to avoid it all together?
• Speaking of Sh.awn and his voice, he has made some major strides this past week with his speech. He is talking up a storm and what he is talking about has just jumped in sophistication significantly. I am wildly excited about it.
• The knock, knock joke is all the rage around my house.
• On Monday we finally took the boys to go have their casting for their braces. It was not a pleasant experience for any of us. We should get them in 2-3 weeks. I can't wait.
• I had debated about whether or not to take them to that appointment on Monday because they were both clearly sick (no fevers or vomiting at that point, but there was no mistaking they were sick). To reschedule would have pushed the appointment to the middle of December, I am just plain tired of having to fight to do the things we have to do, and the consensus was that the people I asked would go, so I took them. And I felt guilty as they coughed and snotted up the place.
• Am I the only one who worries about spreading germs to some poor unsuspecting family? I know that worry is from the boys' early days. It would make me so angry to have sick kids anywhere near my preemie boys.
• Yesterday I was blown away by the number of people in our life who wore purple to honor my guys on World Prematurity Day. I counted 10 coworkers and many family members sporting the color. It brought tears to my eyes to see them.
• Going through my pictures for yesterday's post was pretty intense, too. Wow. All of those emotions came flooding back.

World Prematurity Day - November 17

(Cross posted on the boys' blog)

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Today we are purple.

Purple to honor all of the millions of babies worldwide who were born too soon.

Purple to honor the fight of those babies and their families for survival.

Purple to honor those babies who can fight no more.

Today we are purple to honor those we love who have been touched by prematurity.

Today I was purple to honor our super boys, Sh.awn and Ja.son.

I will forever be amazed by the strength and determination our two boys showed in the early days of their lives. They endured more in those months than many people ever experience in their entire lives. It seemed like every complication possible was thrown their way, but together they conquered the NICU.

They captured the hearts of everyone who worked with them. (I think they still do. :) )

Our guys survived and thrive.

We are the lucky ones.

---

Born at 28 weeks and 3 days, our guys were not even 3 pounds and about as long as a Barbie doll.

Shortly after the boys were born. This is Is.aac's ring.
It would have easily slid all the way up to their armpits.

Is.aac's ring on a foot.



A little hand barely able to hold daddy's thumb.



A small round band aid to protect a delicate knee
(their knees were so delicate that the skin would
get raw when they'd lay on their bellies)

Our guys were tiny but mighty.

Sh.awn, baby A:

The first time I was able to see Sh.awn.
I didn't even get to see him in the delivery room.

Sh.awn - not even a week old.

Holding Sh.awn for the first time. I am so grateful to
our respiratory therapist who made this happen.

Sh.awn in his first clothes.
They were preemie size and still swam on him for weeks.

Mommy and daddy with Sh.awn.

Sh.awn in December 2007

Ja.son, baby B:

Meeting Ja.son for the first time. I was given a brief glimpse
of Ja.son in the operating room, but they held him up for me for literally a second.



Mommy and daddy with Ja.son



Ja.son under the Billi lights for jaundice.

 

Holding Ja.son for the first time.
He was on a ventilator to help him breathe.

Daddy with Ja.son

Ja.son in December 2007

Our first picture as a family of 4 (and the first time I'd held both boys together).
December 2007

 ---

They had a rough start, but our super boys are strong, smart, determined, and funny.

We are the lucky ones. I hold that knowledge in my heart. Our boys are here with us.

Please consider visiting the March of Dimes website for more information or even donate to this worthy cause. Their research helped save our boys.

Thankful

Today the snot has been flowing and all three boys have been miserable. It is now pretty evident that what Sh.awn experienced was either a freakish shunt occlusion (coincidentally timed to arrive just as germageddon has hit our house again--not too likely) or some sort of fast acting nasty virus picked up from some unknown source.

Thank goodness for viruses. I know it seems strange to be happy my kids are so sick, but if given the alternative, I am delirious with joy right now, finally able to really exhale.

Dare I say, I may even have relaxed some.

I know!

Me. The person who is constantly in alert mode. Relaxed.

Relieved.

That is not to say that things around here have been easy. Far from it. I think I had about ten minutes total in which I didn't have a kid on me or touching me is some way or another this weekend. I haven't even brushed my hair since Friday. I've had very little sleep since Wednesday night. There is something...I'm not sure I want to know what...caked onto my sweat pants. Jack spit up on my shoulder (and bit my finger! WTF?). Ja.son is whining from his bedroom as I type this. (He's a moaner and groaner. The WORLD must know how he feels at EVERY moment of the day. lol) There is a pile of Sh.awn's used Kleenexes on the side table waiting to finally make it to the trash.

And still I am happy.

I feel like doom has been averted.

They are sick, but they are whole.

I am so very, very thankful.