The sample was sent to LA and then on to Stanford. Results came today.

Ho.dgk.ins Lym.ph.oma. No information was provided outside of that. She has an appointment with an oncologist on the 12th, which is I suppose when more answers will come.

I can't even begin to dissect the emotions I'm feeling, particularly the whole WTF??? about being told specifically that it wasn't cancer, only some sort of scar tissue, to now being told that it is. I also have to admit that I am not confident about the prospect of her getting treatment from a group that so royally fucked up at every turn. She is angry, but her frustration seems so quiet. She is not me, and her temperament is most definitely different than mine. While I tend to fight first and ask questions later, she is one to sit and reflect. So, while I can urge and try to voice my opinion, ultimately I have to take my place as the passenger, sitting back and letting her take the lead on how this goes. My job is to support her. (Which, in a lot of ways, is so much scarier than taking over control myself.)

I have done a very limited amount of research this evening. Survival and cure rates seem to be very high with this type. I couldn't bring myself to go much deeper than that because I honestly can't wrap my mind around all of this just yet. I need to sit with this for a bit.

How does a person go from being completely healthy to cancer? From a heart scan due to high blood pressure/pulse to lesions? From TWO biopsies with negative results to Ho.dgk.ins Lym.ph.oma? I don't know.

If you're the type who prays, would you say a few extra prayers for my mama? Because she just has to be okay.