It took longer than it should have, I suppose, before I remembered. She isn't there to call. No one is now. Yes, my brothers are out there (although we communicate via email if at all). My aunts, uncles, and my grandmother are there. Even very dear friends I consider more like sisters are in my life. It just isn't the same, no matter how much I love them. No one cares about my guys the way their dad and I do, accepts them without a second thought, or listens to the mundane details of our day because they care about it all. I am alone while surrounded by people.
The people I belong to are no longer here.
It's a humbling thought. It still shakes me to my core.
~~~
We keep on keeping on around these parts. Not much else to do, is there?
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3 comments:
No good words. Just abiding with you.
I was sewing recently, and I reached into a box for some of my mom's fabric; the air was thick with nostalgia as the fragrance of her cupboard filled my work space, and I longed to look up and see her sitting next to me at the table, looking at the project I was busy with, offering advise, tips and praise. It is in the everyday stuff that I miss her the most.
Oh Stacie, my heart hurts for you. So hard to lose the people we love. I find myself thinking about my grandpa sometimes (he was the father figure in my life). It makes me sad that he never had the opportunity to meet my babies. He would have loved them. I don't think that feeling of loss ever truly goes away. Hugs to you my friend.
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