Microblog Monday - Handprints

We fell into this tradition by accident, but once I realized it could be a thing, I made it one. Every year on the 28th of September, I make the boys stamp their handprints on paper.

 

We started it in 2011 - Jack's first year on Earth. He was not quite 6 months old. The big boys were nearing 4.

 



Ja.son, Sh.awn, and Jack (left to right)
September 28, 2011



 

They were all so tiny then.

 

They keep getting bigger, these boys.  





Sh.awn, Ja.son, and Jack (left to right)
September 28, 2012



Bigger.

Sh.awn, Ja.son, and Jack (left to right)
September 28, 2013

And stronger every day.

September 28, 2014
Sh.awn, Ja.son, and Jack

It's hard to tell, I know, but each hand is at least a half an inch bigger than it was last year.

Their handprints are such a visual representation of how much they've changed, a tangible way of seeing the passage of time when sometimes it's so hard to grasp in day to day living of life.

 

These handprints tell the tale. Our boys are not so little anymore.

~~~

Stop by Stirrup Queens for more Microblog Monday posts.

~~~

(I wrote this first here for Microblog Monday, but I cross posted on the boys' blog, too.)

Weekend Leftovers

This week brought both my mom's and Is.aac's birthdays. We had a quiet celebration at our house yesterday. Cake, ice cream, presents, fun, and laughter...who could ask for more?

Bonus is after preparing the house for people to come over, now my house is clean. ;)

~~~

With all of the appointments we've had for doctors, one of the ones that scares me most (which says something) is neurosurgery. Thankfully, the doctor finally called yesterday and said everything looks good for both the boys. Relief.

~~~

One of my childhood friends is pregnant with her first right now--a single mother by choice. I am beyond happy for her, and I can't wait to go to her shower on the 25th.

Coincidentally, her due date was the due date I was given with the pregnancy last year.

~~~

I asked for a meeting with the boys' teacher. There were just a lot of things that were happening that were rubbing me the wrong way. We met on Thursday.

Despite being told about some of Sh.awn's unique needs, she conveniently "forgot" (actually she "forgets" a lot of things) and wasn't putting the strategies we know he needs into use. I reiterated some things to her, so I hope that she has a better understanding of what needs to happen to help Sh.awn succeed.

I'm just going to have to accept that I am not going to like her. She isn't a warm and fuzzy kind of teacher, and she's more than a little abrasive in her speech and mannerisms. If I had to guess, I'd say that I'll be forced to meet with her regularly. She just gave me that kind of vibe.

The fact that I'm not a fan of her is one thing, but even Is.aac, who brushes things off easily, has said more than a few times how he dislikes her. Le sigh.

~~~

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers!

Microblog Monday

Well, the boys brought home their second round of germs this week. It started with Ja.son and plowed its way through the rest of the boys. They recovered most of their energy fairly quickly but have all been left with a lingering cough.

Thursday night I got it. I sucked it up and went to work on Friday, came home, and then proceeded to sleep the next 33 of 36 hours. I emerged Sunday morning feeling majorly hungover and weak. Sheesh. The rest of Sunday was mostly a hazy blur.

It's been rough.

Thankfully, as of Sunday night, we are finally all on the mend, but It feels like someone stole my (much needed) relaxing weekend. Sigh.

Here's hoping next weekend proves better than this.

Microblog Monday - Medical Woes

We've transitioned over to a new insurance carrier. Of course it took longer than it should have, so now we're in the process of meeting the boys' various specialists. The unfortunate part is that, unlike our previous carrier, our current carrier doesn't have the boys' specialties available in our county. That means we have to travel sixty plus miles.

We've done four trips in the last four weeks.

Once you factor in driving through traffic, wait times in the office, meeting the doctors, and driving home again, the fastest trip was 6 hours; the longest was 8.

Eight hours. Ridiculous.

We still have one more specialist to go, but I'm putting if off for a bit. It's only the neurologist, the lowest doctor on our medical hierarchy.

How sad is that?

Sigh.

New doctors. New systems. Reviewing medical history over and over. Big decisions. Possible surgeries ahead...

The boys have been troopers. Really they have.

But they're exhausted. They've asked if they can just go to school instead of meeting doctors.

We're all exhausted.

It feels wrong to complain because I know what the alternative could have been.

And I'm grateful. Truly.

But I hate it all anyway.

Microblog Monday

I think I've come to terms with the whole prematurity thing, and then a new complication arises that makes me hate my body all over again for failing them in such a spectacular way.

Nothing has to be decided right now, but decisions will need to be made eventually. Decisions with no clear cut right or wrong, only maybes and possibilities of both good and bad. Of causing more harm when trying to help. Of some kids having no issues, while maybe just as many kids do. It could mean everything, or in the end, make no difference at all.

This is the shitty part of being a parent, this knowing that what you decide may be the wrong choice.

It's terrifying.

And as much as I am trying to not think about it, I can think of nothing else.



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This, That, and the Other

Oh boy, things have been crazy around here lately.

The boys:

The boys started first grade on the 20th. I am so relieved to say that things have gone so unbelievably well this year. It has been pretty dang amazing. We have now had 8 full days of school, and we haven't had a single issue with the boys yet.

Can you freaking believe that?

A longer day, a brand new schedule/class, and we have had ZERO issues with any of it.

I am so, so, SO proud of my boys! Whoot!

I am not so wild over the boys' teacher, though. After a last minute switch, the boys were placed in the class of the teacher on the team I liked the least. When we met last year, I just got a vibe from her. 

I did go in to meet with the teacher before school started, and I honestly went into the meeting fully intending to put my initial impression in the past. Except I left liking her even less. She told me several times that she was nervous about having a teacher's kids in her class. (Hello, you've been teaching since 2001. Get over it already.) She seems...scattered. In the short time the boys have been in her class, she's flip flopped on her decisions and made some annoying and over-reaching "suggestions." Sigh.

Perhaps her following in the footsteps of the boys' kinder teacher is a disadvantage. I guess in the long run, I don't have to like her. I just need her to do her job and not undo any of their progress.

We shall see.

And just like last year, the boys came down with some sort of crud after a mere three days in school. This week has been rough with all of them vomiting at some point and all of them with runny noses/coughs/and sneezing.

Me:

I started school this week.

The good news is that my classes seem pretty nice so far. My classes are all under 35 students, something that hasn't happened in years.

Not everything is perfect (and some really not perfect crap is happening), but I'm trying very hard to not let it get to me. It can be difficult, though, when those in power are not very nice people. Sigh.

Is.aac:

Is.aac starts his new job tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Beach Fun With a Side of Guilt

We did go to the beach this week, and it will go down in the books as a huge success-the boys had a fabulous time.

How could they not?

The weather was beautiful. The water was unusually warm. There were even relatively few people on the beach. You really couldn't get better conditions than what we had.

Jack hit the sand on the beach and bolted for the water. I followed him, letting him run just far enough ahead of me to make him think that he was getting away, but not far enough that I couldn't reach him if I needed. He was in heaven. When we reached the waterline, he immediately plopped himself down in the sand. Within seconds, we both were drenched. Oh how he laughed!

Sh.awn was mister fearless, and I swear if he could have, he would have launched himself into the ocean and swam out to sea. He was living pure joy when that water would splash against his body. When the water would recede, he'd chase it out, making his way farther and farther away from the shore.

Ja.son was more apprehensive. He chose to play in the wet sand at first and would scamper away when the water would get near. His confidence grew as he watched his brothers. I'm sure he figured if they could survive, so could he. Eventually he mustered up enough courage to join his brothers in the water.

So many times I talk myself out of doing things. It's easy to, really, especially when there is the unknown with which to deal. As the boys get bigger, there are more unknowns.

Things are easier in a lot of ways. The boys are so smart and funny. They love doing new things. They get so excited!

But things are more difficult, too. The boys are getting bigger, and the not walking independently is hard. It's hard on my body to lift them and carry them when needed. (Hello, sand. You were quite the challenge for us. My muscles are still protesting all the work they did that day.) Making things accessible for them can take creativity. It always takes planning.

Is.aac and I don't always work well together as a team when we're confronted with unexpected challenges. He stresses. I stress. We bicker.

It's exhausting.

So I talk myself out of things. Make excuses. Put things off.

It's unfair to the boys.

It makes me feel guilty, especially when I see how much fun they have...could have had all along.

Sigh.