**Updated at the bottom**

Every now and then I need to remind myself to stop and think about how blessed I am. It is easy for me to get caught up in the day to day living and forget that. I have two beautiful boys, a wonderful husband and family, two loving cats, a nice home, and great friends who care. I am lucky and I know it.

The change I feel in my outlook is incredible. I don't know if I am finally leveling out my hormones or what, but I think I am getting back to the real me. I love feeling this way.

The boys are doing so well. Ja.son's head ultrasounds now show little to no inflammation in his ventricles. The neurologist (at our home hospital) was very impressed. So far there are no indications that he will have any lasting effects from this whole ordeal except for two scars and his shunt. His head size has decreased almost back to "normal". Sh.awn is also doing better. His ultrasounds show his ventricles are still inflamed, but his condition was more severe than Ja.son's and it has only been two weeks. They did another EEG on him and took him off the anti seizure medication. All indications so far are that his seizures were from the trauma of the surgery and not some lasting condition. His head size has also decreased.

The doctors haven't said anything about when the boys may come home and to be honest, I haven't asked. I feel like it shouldn't be too much longer, and that is enough for me right now. While I would love for them to be home for Christmas, I don't think that will happen.

My fav. doctor here said that there were several notations in the boys' charts about us. The "us" probably means me. He laughed about it and said that they were about us being overly concerned about the boys' care. Can you be "overly concerned" about the care your children are receiving? I just have to shake my head at it and be thankful for leaving that place. He also said that he had a hard time getting information about the boys also, so he can't imagine how it was for us. His communication improved with them at about the same time I had my blow-up there and yelled at everyone. I figure that was because the old hospital decided they wanted us out.

Getting them transferred back to this hospital was more challenging than it should have been. The old hospital waited until the last moment to get approval from our insurance. (We were told that they weren't used to working with insurance!) This was on Friday afternoon. Apparently, the person at the insurance office handling our case went home without approving the move. This led the old hospital to call this hospital and ask them to authorize the transfer. There were quite a few calls back and forth with the end result being that this hospital said they couldn't. The old hospital called the directors of this hospital to complain about the nurses that had been dealing with them during this whole thing. They said these nurses were deliberately trying to prevent the move and other such dribble. This went on all weekend.

The boys were moved on Monday. Sh.awn came first. He was still intubated (12 days) because they didn't want to extubate him before the move and his infections were still bad. He was here a half an hour before these doctors extubated him. Fav. Dr. said that Sh.awn had grown out the bacteria the other hospital was treating him for at this hospital, too, but he wasn't symptomatic. I think fav. Dr. thinks that he had all of these medications and was left on the vent so long for nothing (although he hasn't directly said that). The lung x-rays also cleared up quickly after the tube was removed. It just burns me up that the old hospital made him suffer for so long for NOTHING!!!!!

I was there when Ja.son came over. It was funny to watch the staff from the old hospital look around at this hospital. They commented about how quiet it was and how small. I wouldn't swear to it, but I think they turned their noses up at it, too. That whole belief that this place couldn't be as good as their hospital was evident on their faces.

I have decided that I am going to write a letter to the other hospital. The overall experience was horrendous, but there were a few nurses that I know were caring and supportive. I appreciate them and will name them in my letter. I will also detail my concerns with the system and the care the boys received while at that hospital and my outrage that the doctors had difficulty dealing with "overly concerned" parents. What they do with the letter will be in their hands. I think once I have done that, I am going to put it all behind me the best I can.

You may have noticed that I activated comment moderation. I am sorry to have had to do it. It seems I have an anonymous poster who is emailing and commenting about his/her belief that I caused this to happen to the boys. I want to say to that person that I will make a far better parent to my boys than you ever could so keep your damn opinions to yourself.

Okay, I am off to see my precious babies. Sigh. I am in total love!

Oh, I am working on pictures of Shawn, too! Should be up shortly...

Ja.son's pictures:
I'll let these speak for themselves...

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

**Updated to add these**

These are the most recent pictures of Sh.awn...