Um, I am feeling a little exposed at the moment. I haven't told anyone about that memory. Is.aac is aware of part of it, but I glossed over the full picture in order to spare him the same trauma I went through. Now that I have put it out there to the universe, my first inclination is to run and hide for a while.
And it seems I have opened the floodgates.
Great.
I won't hide, but I really want to.
Anyway, Is.aac is off to Vegas with his friend this weekend. He leaves tomorrow (Thursday) night and won't be home until Sunday evening. I'll be alone with the babies all weekend long. With no break. At all. And I am so very tired.
I hope I can talk my mom into spending some serious one-on-one time with the babies. Otherwise, sleep isn't in the cards for me this weekend. Again. Sigh.
Sleep just sounds so great. It almost makes me cry to think of not getting any!
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1 day ago
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Today is going tobe a hard one for me as well. 7 years have passed and I can still remember every moment with crystal clarity. I lost several friends in the WTC. I keep my memories and my guilt to myself most of the time. 7 years ago, I accepted a position as a corporate trainer working with financial software. The office was in NJ and right across the river from Lower Manhattan. I was on top of the world. I had to push back my start date by a week. They guy I was going to work with was one of the first to be recovered the day of the attacks. I very easily could have been there. I guess there were other plans for me. The hubby doesn't get it. He never has.
And we are fighting again. Huge blow out last night. Just what I needed today.
Me and Monkey are there with you in spirit ... Monkey sleeping in your boys room, all of them waking up, you and me bleary-eyed, laughing at each other, heating bottles in the middle of the night.
I puffy heart you Stacie.
xoxoxox
Do you have a good friend that could spend some time with the babies this weekend ?
Someone in your church or a neighbor ?
You really need to learn to ask for help Stacie. (coming from the QUEEN of, I can't ask for help girl)
I would call them myself if I knew them.
Maybe one of your students could spend some time helping ?
Here's to sleep !
stacie- dont the boys sleep yet through the night?
Wishing you luck on three days alone! i would go crazy, but I suppose you do each need to get away at times!
I just read that dream stacie and I couldnt imagine seeing something like that and I am so sorry you had to!
You are in my thoughts this week...
I'll be thinking of you this weekend, and hoping your mom can help you out to get some ZZZs...
I so wish I lived closer. I would gladly take the boys so you could get some sleep.
I am appalled that what you wrote about actually happened. That is horrific and I'm so deeply sorry that you and your son had to experience it.
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