I have had the tiniest bit of ache or cramp or something on the lower right side of my abdomen this evening.
It could be a cyst, but it is on the low side. I'm talking about the area about 3-4 inches from my belly button.
Maybe some endo pains? (although all I have officially heard about endo is that I had some on my ovary at this last retrieval)
I am trying with all I have to not get my hopes up. Everything I have.
Let's recap:
LH surge on CD 10. (last Monday)
Definite ovulation signs through to Wednesday - CD 12
Today is CD 18.
I technically have around another 8 days before I should see even the slightest hint of af.
I need to stop thinking about this. Sigh.
I'll most likely be kicking myself in the morning for even thinking this way.
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7 comments:
I remember feeling a definite pinch on my lower uterus. Mine was closer to my pelvic bone. I had one on each side. That just happens to be where they implanted. I knew before the ultrasound confirmed their position.
but you are right. it's probably just a cyst. just keep telling yourself that for another 3-4 days and then you might as well just test. you know. just so that you can clear your mind of all of this.
OH and make sure to post. for those of us who can't wait either.
Go ahead. Kick yourself. And then just keep on thinking...
Funny, right? How even when you're SURE it's not possible, there's still always this tiny glimmer of hope. Always right there, fucking with your mind. You don't want to hope, because it'll just make you crash that much harder. But the thing is: without it, you'd feel empty.
When we entered our last round of IVF for the twins, I tried convincing myself: "If even IVF/ICSI doesn't work, I'll just have them sterilise me (or him, preferably). Because the only way I'll be able to switch gears and move away from the whole TTC thing is by being 100% sure that a natural pregnancy is just NOT possible. If there is even a 0,001% chance of it happening, I would not be able to stop hoping. It would still occupy my mind all the time. It would kill me..."
I was never able to convince myself, though. I didn't want to stop hoping. Not having even that tiny little bit of hope would make my future so empty. Better to have hope for 3 (or in my case 4 or 5 or 6 or ...) weeks every cycle and walk into a wall at the end of it, than to have nothing at all.
So yes. Kick yourself. But never lose that little bit of hope. It's what keeps a person going!
{{{Hugs}}}...it is so hard not to let that b*tch hope into the room because she is why we keep trying.
I second kj's comment!!!!!
I had a cyst in my ovary before, it was so painful! I ended up in the ER because I thought it could be something serious. And I felt a bit of a pain when I had implantation too. Not sure what yours is caused by but hopefully you find out soon and don't have to deal with it anymore.
Hey there Stacie,
I'm so sorry I've been absent with comments on your blog for a while. I read your blog at work though through my reader. I just don't have access to comment. I am very truely sorry for all this crappy sh!t you have had to deal with lately. I really hope that things turn around for you very soon.
Slap! You needed it, sorry! ;) Now stop thinking and just be.
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