The Ramblings of a Tired Mind

In bullets...

• My grandmother, my mom's mom, called us about an hour before she was about to get on a train to come to California to see us. From Arizona. With no warning. Um, yeah.
• We picked up my grandmother from the train station to find an aunt, my dad's sister, and her three kids literally sitting on our door step waiting for us. With no warning, they had decided to come visit. From a different part of Arizona. Um, double yeah.
• We celebrated my brother's birthday yesterday. Everything I got him was either too small or for some freaking reason had stopped working. I had to take everything back and exchange it today.
• My boys haven't napped in four days. I am going crazy. They are going crazy. Mostly, I am going crazy.
• Today is my last day of vacation and I have to go back to work tomorrow. I don't want to...I like this SAHM stuff. (if they'd nap!)
• I have a big staff training to do tomorrow. I am not exactly prepared. See bullets one and two above.
• Ja.son's $1300 orthotics were approved by the insurance and no one had to be yelled at in the process. :-)
• Called the orthoticist (is that what he's called?) to schedule an appointment only to find that he is out for the week and maybe next due to illness.
• I am cancelling the appointment we have with the neurologist this week. I just want Ja.son to walk into that place, which he can't do until we get his orthotics. I need to have things "normal" for once. To me, walking into a doctor's appointment is amazingly normal. (still working on them learning to flip the bird)
• Sh.awn hasn't thrown up since New Year's Eve. That one vomit episode has truly shaken me. I try to pretend that it hasn't.
• I try even harder to not think about what that vomit could mean.
• I am failing at that.
• Miserably.
• I had my scan and blood work today. My two cysts have grown slightly. I have a follie that is measuring 10x12 on the right side, too. E2 was 419. Lining was 8H. Del.estrogen was increased to .25 for Monday and Thursday. My next scan/blood work is on Saturday. I'll start progesterone shots Saturday night. We are still on for the 14th.
• I calculated what we spent on medical bills in 2009. It made me cry. All that money for nothing...
• While I was at the RE's this morning, another woman in the waiting room was wearing a sweatshirt that had the name of the hospital Sh.awn goes to for his surgeries on it. It made my head hurt to look at it, but I couldn't look anywhere else.
• Bleh.
• Is.aac and I have been arguing about stupid stuff. I am sure it is stress driven. It still hurts no matter what the cause. I wish I could get us to stop.
• Maybe I'm depressed???
• I've been working on converting a spare bedroom (the crap collector) into a playroom for the boys. I am trying to get my living room back. I am almost done. I have done it all myself. The kicker is that all of the crap in the room is Is.aac's.
• I feel the need to purge like crazy. Everything.must.be.cleaned. I just need a few more hours in the day, so I can do it all. I am killing myself trying.
• I have a post for the new year, but can't seem to get it finished. I've worked on it three different times already. WTF?

There's more. I'll spare you the torture of having to read more. What is here is just the tip of the ice berg. Sigh.

I'll move on to more upbeat topics next time.