Scene 2 (Pregnancy Edition)

I have become quite the novelty at work. We don't have many babies amongst our staff any more. Either the people there are too old, have already had the children they want and are not expanding their families any more, or they are just starting out and not in a place financially or professionally to begin family building. So, I am the pregnancy at the moment.

I guess part of me can understand this. The last time I was pregnant, I worked the first day of the school year (as a 19 weeks, 6 days pregnant person) and then disappeared. I think that I was approximately the same size I am now when I delivered the boys, but no one from work every really saw me until long after the boys were born. Now, as my girth continues to expand, I hear constant comments from my coworkers.

I am also hearing more and more comments and questions from my students, especially the boys. Last week, out of the blue, one of the boys in a 7th grade class asked me if I was worried about delivering the baby in class. I assured him I wasn't, that no matter what happened, I would have plenty of time to make it to the hospital in time to deliver the baby. That prompted a short class discussion about what could happen during class, especially if my water broke. (I didn't participate much, just let them talk it out and reassure themselves that it would be okay.) After a few minutes, everyone seemed satisfied that all would be okay and we went about our business of learning about persuasive writing. :-)

Fast forward to yesterday in the same class. I was standing in front of the room leading a discussion on one of the literature selections we had just finished when there was a noticeable "pop." At that same moment, there was a strange movement across my midsection.

All eyes were on me, of course, so all the kids saw and heard what had just happened.

I thought the poor boy sitting directly in front of me was going to crap his pants. There is no way I could adequately describe the look of shock-horror-fear-curiosity that washed across his face as he tried to decide what had just happened.

I almost died of laughter when he jumped up from his seat while staring at the ground to see if he was going to get hit by something!

It had taken me just a second to realize that the elastic band on my maternity jeans had suddenly snapped.

I told the kids what had happened, we had a few chuckles and relieved exhales, and then I went to sit down so I could finish the lesson.

I thought all was going to be okay, that my pants would make it through the rest of the day. At first, the elastic band was still snug around most of my body, so my pants were staying up pretty much on their own. But, as I moved more, the elastic band pulled further and further apart. That, of course, made my already baggy jeans looser and looser.

The class period ended, so I ran to my next door neighbor to see if she had anything could help me fix my jeans. She found a small gold safety pin and tried to pin the band around my jeans together. That poor safety pin was no match for my bulging middle. We tried staples with no luck. They wouldn't staple through the material. We tried rubber bands. Nope. Before I was ready, our three minutes between classes was over and I had to get back to work.

The jeans were not behaving. If I got up to walk around the room, I literally had to hold them up! I did my best to sit as much as possible through that next period, too.

Finally, I made it to my prep period. I went to the office in search of something-anything!-else that I could use to keep my pants from falling down around my knees. After confessing my embarrassment to far too many people, and hearing far too many people laugh at me(including the male principal), I found a small sewing kit.

I headed back to my classroom to see if I could do something to fix the elastic band around my jeans. I had to cover the peak through window on my door and pray that then wouldn't be the exact moment someone came into my class for some stupid reason. (With my luck, I'd have someone from the district office come in to do some kind of safety check walk into my room just as I stood there in my underwear holding my pants. I would hate to have to explain that!)

Thankfully, I managed to sew the elastic back together and get my pants on before I was discovered. Lol.

I am so glad that today marks 34 weeks and I am nearing the end of pregnancy FUN. I don't think I can take much more of this!