Today was...a day.
At school it was...emotional. Normal. But not in so many ways. One more day until a four day weekend and a chance to regroup. We need that so very much. I need that so very much.
Today was also my OB visit. To commemorate the day, I started my period. Thankfully, the witch held off until just as I was leaving the office. Oh did she come, though. Anyway, there was talk about ttc, me being high risk next time (yep with possible cerclage right off the bat), new perinatologists (I'll have to travel an hour instead of 45 minutes, but I won't be seeing doctor doom anymore), and my tubes. He doesn't really think that there will be a problem with my tubes, (They were clear with my HSG three hundred years ago, surely they're clear now. Ha.) so keep on trying the old fashioned way. It happens more than you think...yada, yada, yada.
But, um. I have been trying. For too damn long. What do I have for my efforts? That's right! Big fat NADA. So, he gave me a referral to my RE to get started with treatments again.
And I thought that was what I wanted. Oh, how I wish it made me happy to get that referral.
But it didn't. It's just another reminder that my stupid body doesn't do things it should. I'll have to spend more money that we really should be saving at a time when things are up in the air. God, I just wanted to be "normal." This is one more confirmation that I am not.
I had tears in my eyes by the time I made it to my car.
Infertility sucks.
---
Did you happen to see my other blog? The little shit (said with love) bit me! Hard.
---
I'm working on interview questions for those of you interested. If you left your email, I won't be posting your comment. I just wanted you to know that so it didn't look like I was ignoring you or anything. :-) Anyone else wanting to be interviewed?
Posts
1 day ago
12 comments:
I did see the other blog. That wasn't nice! It is cute how much he wants you all to himself though.
That BITES !
Get it. bites.
OK FINE !
I'm so sorry about the need for the referral but how exciting that you are getting back up on that horse.
Damn, that bite looks painful. I like how you left the eyes red in his "he dun it" mug shot.
I'm so sorry the appointment left you feeling that way. Its sort of like my feeling that my family ALWAYS seems to fall on the losing end of the medical odds and wishing like hell we didn't. Its frustrating, maddening, pisses me off that we have to alter our life once again but , in the end, I just have to deal with it...UGH
Man, he was pissed at you. Did he laugh when you screamed? Kids!
Stacie, I know how you feel about infertility, it totally sucks and I take it personal that my body doesn't want to procreate again. Everytime I see a birth control commercial, I laugh hysterically. All of my friends say "if its meant to be it will happen." What a bunch of bullcrap.
Have a lovely day.
I so understand where you are coming from regarding the if. My aunt's friend had IVF and became pg with twin girls last year. Her girls were born at 27 weeks in May, but thank GD are doing well now. My aunt just told me that her friend became pg "naturally". I hate hearing that, but seeing as though this woman was in our boat a few months ago, maybe she needed this pg. I dont know how she will manage, how all of us would manage with twins and a new born.
Though I know I am NOT ready for another one now, it still pains me to get my period every month, and I still get a tinge of jealousy when I hear someone I know is pregnant. I guess this is something we will carry with us forever.
I nominated you for an award on my blog. Hope you stop by and pick it up.
Glad you made it through today. Sorry to hear about AF. Infertility does suck. Thinking about you.
i checked out the other blog too. man, he sure left a mark! what a little (lovable) stinker. :)
i am praying for you that you will have success in ttc soon, and that that pregnancy will go smoothly and be drama-free.
I'm glad you got the referral and weren't told to just continue trying for a year or some ridiculous amount of time. Infertility sucks, no doubt about it.
I'm sorry about the OB visit. Treatments...ttc again....even when you want it, it's hard to open that can of worms. I know this because I'm a pansy and can't open that can of worms. Heck, Cathy had to basically threaten to beat me with a stick to get me to even CALL my RE about how things *might maybe theoretically* go *if we might SOMETIME* want to get moving.
A beating stick is a useful thing.
I'm sorry about your terrible anniversary at school. So sad what happened. I'm happy for you that it's soon Friday and you'll get a break.
IF sucks. People keep saying to me that 'it'll happen naturally' now I've got IVF kids. WTF?
xx
J
I'm sorry about the tough day at school and the bitch AF showing up for the OB visit....and for the flesh gash the cute evil one bestowed upon you! OUCH!!!!!
you need some cheesecake :)
Post a Comment