Yesterday I took the boys to the ophthalmologist for three hours of fun. (I just don't understand why places can't figure out how to schedule. It makes no sense to book so many people for the same fucking time. Two doctors and about 15 people in the waiting room is ridiculous. Seriously.) We were the last people to leave the office, even AFTER the doctor. Ugh.

Anyway, the good news is that the boys' eyes have not changed at all.

Bad news: we go back in 3 months and talk about the surgery for Ja.son's strabismus. And while he does not see pressure pushing on Sh.awn's optic nerves, the doctor did agree that the eye turning is most likely due to pressure near his nerves. His words..."so you'll most likely have another revision some time soon?" Couple that with Sh.awn's increased pickiness over eating (he ate very well for about 5 days, now we are back to him not eating as much or being very specific about what he'll allow in--not his norm), and I am back to being depressed.

I just want a fucking break already.

Is.aac and I are trying to decide what to do. The neurosurgeon, who continues to downplay the whole eye thing in the first place, offered to give us names of a few ophthalmologists to check his eyes. Because, you know, it couldn't be a head thing. Now that we've done that, we're going to have to go back and demand yet another CT scan. But, because our doctor only works T-Th, that makes things tricky.

This is going to mean surgery again. How many times are they going to be able to play in his head before they fuck him up even more than they already have? It makes me want to cry.

To top it off, I work tomorrow and Friday, and go back to school full time the week after next--as if things weren't hard enough.