It's Starting

The trial started today. Finally, after over 3 years of waiting to get to this point, it's here.

He doesn't look like the young boy I knew.

Now he looks like a man.

Will they be able to look through that 6 foot facade and see what I saw--a very young for his age, lost little boy?

Such a senseless act. So many lives affected.

What was he thinking? It makes me so angry to think that the kid I spent nearly every afternoon with during his seventh grade year could turn around and do something that stupid. It's was so final.

I wonder if I had been there and not on on maternity leave if I would have seen him struggling. I wonder if I could have helped in some way.

Probably not, but still...what if?

He killed someone. Never did I expect him to be capable of that. Even when I heard it was him, I had a hard time believing.

I just want to strangle him.

Two lives lost that day--one to death and the other to jail. Countless others changed for the rest of their lives.

And it makes me so, so sad.

I was never subpoenaed, thankfully?, but of course many of my coworkers were. It looks like there will be over 100 witnesses by the time it is finished.

One of my very close friends testifies on Thursday. Another friend and I are going to the courthouse to be there while she testifies. She is feeling all the emotion of that time again now. She needs serious moral support...at least I'll be able to help someone in this mess.

Sigh.

Now I just want it to be over.