Opinions Wanted Part 2

First of all, thanks for all of the nice words about the pictures. I am super excited about them all. She released the full album to me earlier today. I don't think there is a single one that I don't like. How she managed that is beyond me!

As for your other opinions, I just have to say wow. Thank you. For all of them. I definitely have a lot to think about for a while.

I have decided to take the intent behind the words as the guide for the write-up. I think she was genuine. I believe she was a kind person. I am going to take her write-up as that.

I am somewhat still uncomfortable with her outing the boys' CP, because I have yet to publicly link them to it, but after reading your thoughts, I suppose I need to do more thinking about the reason behind my reluctance.

I am a deeply private person by nature. It isn't that I am shy or afraid of people knowing things about me, it's just that I grew up in a family where too much information was routinely shared. I hated that I was never able to have my own personal privacy. Now I hold many things I feel are important close to my heart (you know, aside from this blog) and will only share with a few very close friends if even then. I don't know what that says about me as a person, but that is how I am.

So, it is hard for me because their story and my story are hugely intertwined. Where do I draw that line between my story and their story? How much should I say about their struggles without crossing over into issues that they may not want me to share? Would they want to share what I share about them? They are still children without the voice to directly say what they want said or not--I don't want it to be that simply because they are children I took their choice away. Because I know exactly what it feels like to have "everyone" know my business, I am even more careful about what I say about the boys publicly.

While I hope that our collective story is full of love, hope, and (hopefully) success, I am the gate keeper to their story. As such I really try to respect when to separate myself from them. They are my first priority--their happiness and well being is what I care about. I am not hiding from it nor embarrassed by it by any means, but is it my news to share?

I don't know if that makes sense. I don't even know if it makes sense to me.

I am acutely aware that it could be seen that by not declaring to the world that my boys are damn awesome kids who happen to have a CP diagnosis, it may send the message that I am ashamed of them. I certainly don't want anyone to believe that, especially the boys themselves! Let me be clear here, when I say that that couldn't be any further from the truth. I think that if there was any reason to start shouting from the rooftop about CP, this reason alone is it.

But my guess is that I'd be shouting only because I was just afraid of what my silence implied to others who don't know us well enough to know that idea was ridiculous.

All I really need to be worried about how my boys feel about what I do or do not say.

I think (hope) that I am doing a decent job teaching my boys that there are all kinds of people in this world and that each one of us has his or her own special contribution to make. I think (hope) I am doing a decent job teaching my boys that they are just as capable, smart, needed, and LOVED as any other children in this world. I believe that we are lucky to have them in our lives and I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world. I know that they know they are the center of their parents' world.

So, as you can see, I do not take this topic lightly. I am thinking about it.

A lot.

I just haven't come to any answers yet.

I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on the matter...