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I did a little retail therapy and got myself the glasses I've been coveting.
I cried some and got angry all over again--because dude. Ugh.
I played with my boys and loved on them so much that they were starting to run from me when they saw me coming. :-)
Then I chased them around the house trying to give even more love to my sweet boys.
I got my hair cut and colored. While I was there, I had a neck and hand massage. Ahhh....
I read such wonderful and heartfelt comments by you guys.
And then I thought to hell with them.
Who cares if they think we are that family?
It is their loss.
Not ours.
Because my family is pretty damn good just the way it is.
Sure, things might be easier for everyone if we didn't/don't face some of the issues in front of us.
Sure, sometimes I think it would be nice to be "typical."
But I wouldn't change things, especially if it meant that my boys would be different than who they are now.
I have to say that the other night was a low point for me. I spent a lot of time crying. I was just so angry, I was shaking.
I didn't sleep much, either.
As much as I'd like to say that the things people say don't matter, I have to admit to myself that words like that sting, even though they may not have been meant the way I received them.
Unfortunately, hurtful thoughts/words that people say are not going to go away.
I need to learn that those words are only as hurtful as I allow them to be.
My job is to take the power away from those words.
And learn to be comfortable in my own skin so I don't feel like that kind of comment is meant to put me down.
My kids deserve that.
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10 comments:
Sorry I missed your last post, I've been drowning in my own crap lately.
It does suck to be thought of as "that" family. I get those looks all.the.time. And sometimes it bothers me, but .. we ARE so lucky, because our kids are SO great.
But you're right, we do have to learn to let it slide so we can teach our KIDS to not be hurt by it. That some people just don't understand, and it's their loss.
I'm glad you were able to have some you time, and enjoyed it. You and your family are the only ones that matter in the end, who cares about everyone else.
I didn't get a chance to comment on your last post, so here it goes...
All I had to read was the first line of your post to know what my comment would be. What do I see? While I don't know you or your family in real life but when I see pictures of your family I think love and joy and strength. You and your husbands faces raidiate love when looking at your boys. Your boys faces are pure joy. They are happy and loved and it's visible through just a picture.
You have a beautiful family Stacey!
Stacie, you're a pretty awesome woman and, in addition to your family deserving that, you deserve the contentment and peace of mind that outlook would bring.
I try to take the zen approach. If I allow myself to feel as though I am a victim, then I am holding hatred in my heart and I cannot move on.
I forgive people who take pity on me and I forgive myself when I take pity on me.
Hang in there. Some days are way hard.
mwah right back at-cha sister!
That word "typical" rubs me the wrong way on so many fronts.
Keep on keepin' on mama.
From one mom of twins w/"issues" to another...
I agree, if you allow yourself to feel like a victim in any circumstance, then you will remain bitter and angry at the world surrounding you...
Hugs!
And the vicious circle continues. I keep finding all these wonderful blogs through other blogs. I was introduced to your's through Maya, whom I was introduced to through the Spohrs', whom I was introduced through a cake blog. Man, if this keeps up, I'll never get any housework done. Anywho, you are such a strong woman. I don't know how you do it! You have been through so much over the past few years, I think I would have lost myself by now. But you haven't. You've stayed strong for your boys. (Regardless of all those *bad* days.) You are an inspiration. (And I must say, your boys are a-freakin-dorable!!)
You keep going. You will get there, where ever there is for you.
You are doing great!!!
We were "that" family when I was growing up. Psych issues galore, the only divorced parents in the Catholic neighborhood, the adults wouldn't speak to my mother. My mother bumped into an old neighbor recently at the store, a racist and a snob, who frequently belittled her and made her life hell, telling her her children were white trash- and his daughter has two kids by two different guys now. My humble mother was gloating that she raised 4 daughters who never got knocked up, none of us in jail, two of us married. I think they all expected us to end up in mental hospitals or homeless like our father. Sometimes the best revenge is to live well.
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