On the Lost and Found today, there was a posting about starting up a Parenting a Special Needs Child After IF room on the Stirrup Queen Blogroll. For all intents and purposes, I suppose that I could belong to the group of those parenting special needs children after infertility. I mean, the boys do have CP.
My boys may have more specialized needs than some other kids their age; those needs aren't what I think of first when I think about them.
Instead I think about my three amazing boys--my twins and singleton. I am a mom of multiples, and while it is much more common now than it was twenty years ago, it is still a unique experience. I carried two babies at the same time, survived my attention and heart being split for months on end between two hospital beds, soothed a child with a foot or elbow because my hands were tied to caring for another, felt the guilt of hearing a child's inconsolable cry because his brother's needs were more immediate, and became a master at juggling the needs of two fairly complicated (at least initially) children. I've worked to find ways to give quality individual time to my boys while at the same time fostered opportunities to do things together as a family.
Having multiples is intertwined with how I came to be a mother. I wouldn't have one without the other.
It's something I would say to someone I just met. "Yes, I do have children. I have five year old twins and a two year old."
After asking more questions, one of which was whether I'd still be listed on the Parenting Multiples board, I decided not to be added to the special needs list because I couldn't be on both.
In my head, I am a multiples mom first.
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1 day ago
3 comments:
It's too bad you can't be a part of both. For me, it's about equal how much both parts have affected my parenting. Yes, i have multiples and all the challenges that go with that. But I also have a kid who is terribly complex and there are issues around that (and those are the issues I struggle more with so perhaps talk more about - even if, like you, it's not necessarily how I'd first define myself).
That sucks that you can't be in both groups.
I agree with Cathy. I think it's not as much about where you fit first...but what you need out of the groups themselves.
Only a couple of more days and you'll be a stay at home mom with twins. Wanna join my group ? :)
I wish you were ble to be in both groups. When trying to relate to others going through, or having gone through the same things, I'd say you, as well as others, would fit in more than one catagory.
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