Things are slowly returning to some semblance of "normal" in the aftermath of the shooting, although there are many questions about what "normal" means from here on out. The media has finally left, which makes things a little less stressful for everyone. I have to say that watching my students break down when asked about what happened on television nightly didn't do much to help me heal--and most certainly didn't help the students.

Last night, there was a parent meeting at the local high school. The call is for more security. There was talk of police officers roaming the halls and metal detectors at all of the entrances. Interestingly, not much was said about the need to teach tolerance. I am not sure if that is because they feel that we are already attempting that, or if they could care less about that part of the issue.

I am not convinced that extra security will do much. If someone wants to do something like this again, all of the precautions in the world won't stop someone that determined to cause pain for others.

I am hoping that all of the extra security pushing will die down as time seperates us from what happened. I am not a big fan of seeing security guards in the hallways or having to go through metal detectors when I come and go. I believe that this was an isolated incident and not an indication of what will go on for the rest of time. Do you think that is wishful thinking?

A new development has entered the picture for those of us who work at the school (and that includes me even though I wasn't there that day). The district's insurance company is working double time, trying to salvage any possibility of not being sued for all they've got. We've been directed to not speak to anyone about any of this without them or our union representation present. (they specifically told us media and lawyers, so I will continue to vent here semi-annonymously)

The district has also started their attempt to investigate the role staff may have had with the incident. You know, it wasn't stressful enough around work as it was. The feeling is that the district is looking to finger point, and that is never a good thing. You know things are tense when you find emails like this in your inbox:

"Our district’s lawyer was there and mentioned that we may be called for fact-finding interviews (to protect us and the district). She cautioned us to not talk to anyone else, but to direct any inquiries to (the superintendent).

If admin wants impromptu meeting for info, ask for your union reps. They have had our classes covered before so we can be with you. If there’s time, contact union officers to be with you also to protect YOUR rights."

I have been to work several times this past week for the various debriefings and so forth. I have also gone to give hugs and love to a few of my friends who have been directly involved in what is going on there. I am amazed by them. They have been through hell, and still they continue for the kids. I am truly surrounded by the best people in the world.

If you can believe it, all of this has made me want to go back to work (not that I didn't want to in the first place, but the desire is much more intense now). I have been thinking that I will return after spring break (April 21) for the rest of the year. The good thing about that is that I won't have to pay $900 for my benefits for the summer months, and I will get credit for working this school year and get my scheduled raise next year. Raises are always a good thing!