In response to the post below this one...

I have backed away from the edge just slightly. I cried. I got mad at the world. I am feeling better now.

I called the boys' OT and talked with her about what the doctor said and seemed to see. Interestingly, she wasn't committed to saying that he was a high risk for CP. She didn't discount it as a risk, but it was a risk from the moment they were born early and she didn't see anything that would make her lean toward saying the risk had increased. While the doctor was pleased with Shawn, her concerns were for Shawn because he was tense for her (apparently that isn't good either). She did note some low muscle tone in Jason, but what she noted was that he was well within "normal" for his adjusted age. Actually, they both fell within that mystical normal range for development.

The OT is quite experienced and has been doing this for several years. She is knowledgeable and innovative. I like her and I think I trust her--but then again, should I trust anyone when it comes to the boys? And then again, how can I not?

So what do I think? My heart wants to believe all is okay. My head is scared and flying all over the place with worry. I am not sure what my gut says. Is it my gut that makes me afraid or just my over active mind?

So now I am trying to follow the guidelines of IF there is something going on with Jason and Shawn, they are getting early intervention that will minimize and possibly help to correct whatever it is.

That is the best I can do right now.

I just hope it is enough.