I made it through yesterday. It was so much easier in a way, yet still so much harder than I ever thought possible. Does that make sense? I think I must have said that I didn't want to do this to myself about a hundred times. If only things were that easy to get out of--just say you don't want to do something, and you don't. Yes, that sure would be nice.

I think my dad would have been pleased with who came and how it went. We guessed that there were somewhere between 150 to 200 people there. That makes me happy.

I have slept most of today in an attempt at recovery from all the stress I've been under. (I am even still in my pajamas at 6:40 at night.) I am pretty sure I'll have to sleep a LOT more for it to make a difference, though.

---

The boys are hanging in there. They have seen more people in the last few days than they have in their entire lives put together. That has been another stressor for me. I hope they didn't catch something from someone they came in contact with this week. I was as careful as I could be with them, but you know how that goes.

Shawn has had mostly good days since my last panic. This morning, he was all smiles and in such a cheerful mood. I want so much to believe that this worked, but I have learned the hard way that wanting something doesn't make it so.

I am trying to make myself see that no matter what happens with him, he will be okay in the long run. These bumps in the road are just bumps. He seems to be hitting his adjusted age milestones, so I am trying to focus on that on not on the what ifs. That is incredibly hard to do.

The best news with him is that his cheeks are starting to fill out and he is back to gaining weight. I might even guess that he is up to 13 pounds or so. He actually likes to eat now. Thank goodness!

Jason, on the other hand, has to be at or above 15 pounds, and I would guess about 3 inches or so on Shawn. He can sleep through the night now. The first few nights he did it, we went in there a few times to make sure he was breathing, but now it is unusual for him to wake up for food in the middle of the night. (knock, knock, knock) It is perfect timing, too, because I go back to work next week.

---

Thank you, everyone, for being you and helping through these last few months. I know I have said this before, but I think you all need to be reminded every now and then about how important you and your comments are to me. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

Wednesday is my one year blogoversary. If I time it right, it will also be my 200th post. I have a little something special planned for you all as a celebration, so don't forget to stop by and check it out.

Much love,
Stacie