Little No.ah

From what I understand, little No.ah has been sent from the NICU in the big children's hospital to hospice care at our local hospital. The details of what is going on with him is still fuzzy to me--and there is no way I am going to go over there to probe them for more!--but from what I can piece together from snippets here and there, No.ah had a muscle biopsy back in mid September. The results from the biopsy, which was for the most part forgotten about, came back last week and indicated that No.ah has some sort of terminal disease. "Cancer" was never said, so I am not clear on what the terminal disease is exactly. There really is no idea on how long he will be able to hang on, it could be days or months.

In the end, it doesn't really matter why...all that matter is that he's leaving this earth far too soon.

Is.aac and I will be going to spend time with our neighbors and finally meet No.ah tomorrow or Thursday at hospice. The day will depend on whether they are able to find child care for their other two little ones at home. Our neighbors want us to meet No.ah, and we are both honored that they want to share him with us in person.

I have to be honest and say that I need to find some inner strength to be able to do this visit. It isn't because of actually seeing No.ah makes me nervous. I am glad I'll be able to celebrate No.ah's life with our neighbors and help keep his memory alive/support my neighbors.

Instead, it is because the hospice area he's at is just down the hall from the NICU our boys were in for so long.

I am struggling with that part...

and freaking out about it a bit.

Or a lot.