Why the hell am I fucking everything up?
What is wrong with me?
I guess (hope) they'll probably just reschedule my scan for tomorrow or Thursday. We still have time before the big thaw to cancel things should there be a problem with my lining--which is 13H at the last scan, still not that wanted triple stripe I used to have. WTF is up with that? I want my triple stripe back. But really, I don't think there will be a problem with my lining. Right? (say right, okay)
Now the med issue makes me a little more worried. I suppose in the long run, if I correct the error and just do 2ccs from here on out it will be okay, but...
this is totally not like me.
I can't believe I let this happen.
As an aside, my MIL had knee replacement surgery today. We knew it was coming sometime soon, but we didn't know exactly when it would happen. (Don't get me started on that--like I've said before, she lives less than 5 miles away from us and we hardly ever hear from her or see her. The two of them have an "interesting" relationship. That is the nicest way I can put it.) Anyway, that has Is.aac in a panic of sorts because he gets strange about all things dealing with his mother.
So that means he's freaked, too.
That does not create a happy situation at the old homestead.
Sigh.
I'll keep you updated. Fingers crossed that I haven't fucked things up beyond repair.
I don't normally use the word fuck. I must be stressed.
Breathe, Stac. Just breathe.
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12 comments:
Scan- don't sweat it, no big deal and not essential anyway.
Lining- don't sweat it, pattern not especially predictive wrt pregnancy rates. Your thickness is fine, so don't worry.
PIO- also no biggie.
Better? :)
xx
g
Right!
And just to let you know fuck-ups don't have to mean anything: I've had loads of cycles where everything went exactly right but no baby. The two cycles where everything was fucked up, I ended up pregnant...
IVF#2 was a disaster from the get-go: medications not delivered on time, scans scheduled incorrectly, and oh, yes, the clinic gave me a PIO needle instead of one of those nice tiny just-under-the-skin-ones for my trigger shot. And of course I didn't find out about that until I was IN THE BATHROOM at our weekly tennis-lesson (by the way: I totally suck at tennis) ready to give myself the trigger-shot. Which had to be timed just right, so in it went. Carefully and slowly so as not to stick too far. Outch! And half of the trigger-shot flowed right back out of the huge big hole that stupid big needle left...
Still, the twins walking around the house right now prove that even WITH all those fuck-ups (and of course OHSS, because if things get fucked up, they get FUCKED UP), the results can be perfect!
And FTE#1? The one that happened 17 weeks ago? Don't even get me started on that one... Besides from the lead-follie-that-refused-to-grow, the lab ended up thawing ALL (3) of our embryo's at the same time instead of stopping at 1 properly thawed one as agreed with out RE (which meant we ended up transferring two instead of one because wanting to transfer 1 because of earlier premature twins is one thing, but telling them at transfer day to go ahead and just throw away that second good embryo is a totally different thing).
And I am 100% sure they miscalculated the day that I ovulated. No trigger-shot, so pure guesswork from their side with the few u/s they did. I am absolutely certain I ovulated either monday night or tuesday morning, but when the u/s on Wednesday showed the (new-leading-)follie(-that-DID-grow) was gone, they put that same Wednesday down as ovulation day. WTF?!?
So now I know that even after a 5/6 day transfer with only 3/4 day old frozen embryo's, thus giving the little fighters two days less (since unmedicated means no PIO or suppositories either to delay a period) to find a nice cosy little corner of my scary uterus to stick around in, things can STILL work out right. I'm still not quite confident enough to say I'll end up with a live, healthy baby this time, but I never even expected to get THIS far...
So if my clinic and I can fuck up and still get a positive result, I'm sure your future child won't be detained by something as silly as two switched PIO-shots!
Breathe...
Oh, and of course, all fingers crossed for you!
I only say that word when really stressed too... I'm rooting for you dear!
sometimes the only word you can use is Fuck.
Praying for ya.
I Hope they reschedule your scan for tomorrow and that your homestead calms down a little. ((HUG))
I wouldn't worry one single bit about the PIO mistake. Think about it - different REs use different protocols and varying amounts of PIO with their patients. Some patients are on only 1 cc PIO through the entire duration of cycling and it's no problem for them. Hang in there!
My FET had one thing after another go wrong too. It had to be pushed back two days, I had issues getting meds on time, and I was an emotional wreck about all of the problems. That said, I am now 20w3d thanks to the wonky FET. Don't lose hope, it's my experience that screw ups in FETs are much easier to work with than screw ups in fresh cycles. Good luck!!
That's right Stacie, just breathe! Blame the forgetfulness on being a mom. I think it permanently fries our brains.
{{{HUGS}}} It will be ok!
Fingers crossed.
I hope they reschedule the scan and all is well. I hate finding out I've missed an important appointment. I feel like banging my head on the desk when that happens. And I know what you mean about having an interesting relationship with parents thing. Not the best of times, dealing with them, in our case anyway. I hope everything goes well for you guys.
Breathe, girl, breathe (I know easier said then done).
Praying and praying some more.
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