They taunt me with the possibility of happiness.
Yet, they remain one of my number one fears.
HPTs. Evil, evil, evil home pregnancy tests.
There are four in my bathroom, just waiting to give me answers.I love you, dreaded pee sticks.
Oh, how I hate you, too.
It is a constant struggle to resist your whispers...
"Come pee on me..."
It is only 8 days passed ovulation. You'd be stark white. I can't handle seeing another white pee stick.
"Sure it is only 8dpo, but wouldn't it be nice to see a positive? It could be there, you know..."
No. Not going to do it.
"At the very least, you can see if the trigger is totally out of your system..."
No. I metabolize things quickly. I am nearly certain that the hcg is out of my system at this point.
"Come on...You haven't peed yet this morning. You know how strong first morning urine is. There's bound to be some hcg in there someplace. Remember all of those symptoms..."
But I'm afraid...
I can't bare to see a negative...
Please. Just stop tormenting me.
I'll likely pee on you tomorrow...
Maybe.
If I am strong enough.
---
This is what runs through my head all the time now. It is clear that I have officially reached the crazy stage.
Waiting is the worst.
---
I caved. The temptation was too great.
They are evil I tell you!
Sigh.
I am so freaking weak.
I needed to prove to myself that the trigger was out of my system and prepared myself to see a stark white line.
Those pee sticks are very convincing.
Double sigh.
It's there, but it's light, light, light. Unmistakable, but light enough that I can't quite get it on a picture.
Today is 10 days passed trigger.
Now the question is whether it's trigger residuals or something much, much better.
Let's all pray that it isn't the trigger I'm seeing.
Let's pray that tomorrow I'll see something darker. :-)
---
Someone take these stupid sticks away from me. Put me out of my misery. Of course, if I stay on the path I'm on right now, I'll pee right through them before anyone could take them away from me.
It is a sickness.
And boy am I ill.
Tested this pm. Line came up long before the 3 minute time limits. Still faint, but slightly darker than this morning.
That makes me feel a little bit better.
But not much.
Ugh.
I am killing myself here!
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25 comments:
Well, I'm absolutely NO encouragement. I've been known to pee on the day OF transfer. *I know, I know.*
Keeping everything crossed for you!
Love it, Kym! Thank you for the crossing!
My triggers were always in and it within 48 hours. I hope, hope, hope this is IT.
Im thinking its something much much better, The trigger would be gone by now in my opinion!
Praying for a darker line tomorrow. (And cautiously excited for you!)
Carrie
Please. Be. Darker.
I am your total pee-stick BFF from afar. I loves me some pee sticks. But they are the total mindfcker.
Love you StayLow. Thinking of you HEAPS XOXOXOXOXOXO
OMG! This post brought me back to the wicked conversations I had with my pee sticks! Too funny!! And OMG!!! I do hope tomorrow is darker for you!! I will check back! Happy ICLW! (#45 & 46)
Oh holy crap! Ok, composure. Need composure. I'm so hoping for darker tomorrow. I need a post promptly after peeing. That's a PAP post. Do it.
i never had any willpower against the sticks! i peed on them all day long.... LOL
hoping for something darker tomorrow :)
**ICLW
oooohhhh so scary!! and Eden=awwww the love:)
Ooooooh, such exciting times! Big hope for tomorrow's peestravaganza!
I don't believe in those trigger lines. I started testing right after and never had lines.
trigger lines shmines. They just tell us that so we don't peak.
Well you did and it sounds pretty darn positive.
Lets see pics tomorrow.
umm. I'm thinking it might be Emily and Emilio ! just sayin.
"Urine" my thoughts...sorry, I know, I know. I just had to say it!!! Let's go, darker line!!!
I am the biggest pee stick junkie on the block. The most hits I get on my blog are for my pee stick pictures because there are an embarrasing amount of them up there -- complete with an excruciatingly detailed play-by-play of the events surrounding the peeing. I am insane.
But, more than being insane, I am EXCITED. So freaking excited that you saw a line, any line. I am beside myself to see tomorrow's entry.
If I knew where you lived, I would bang on your front door every morning chanting, "PEE PEE PEE PEE!!!" I'm starting to think that I am living vicariously through you or something.
Thank you thank you thank you for the comment! I'm about to write every question down and review thoroughly with B and the fam. I want to keep you in my pocket. Seriously, I'll just take you with me everywhere I go.
Oh, man alive. You better hydrate tonight and hold it woman. Pee in a cup too. No messing around with a flow you just might lose control of in your haste.
Pee and dip.
Pee and dip.
Oh, my law. I think I am gonna be sick I am so excited.
AAAAHH!!!!! Let it be, let it be!!!
Darken line and keep darkening!
Oh, Pee sticks, such a cruel mistress! I am crossing all of my fingers, toes and both my eyes that this is not the hcg trigger left and you see a lovely darkening of the line tomorrow. (and every day after that)! I'm (cautiously) optimistic you and your gang on board!
those darn pee sticks still get me sometimes! i hate them! i pray that your line gets darker and that you will have wonderful news for us very soon!!!!!!!
The pee stick convo had me giggling. Hoping and praying this is it!
Oh wow!! Wow!!!
Do I have to tell you again that I never saw any line whatsoever, not even a really faint one, before 13 DPO? Not even with our twins? Do I?
Go Emily! ;-)
The suspense is killing me!!!
OMG OMG OMG- sounds good. hoping and hoping for you.
Hoping and praying that this is the time.
An ICLW Visit from #107 (mfi, speedskating, strength)
liddy @ the unfair struggle
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