Posts
1 day ago
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
After quite a bit of emailing and calling (everyone it seemed), they are letting us go. Tomorrow, I head out with 90, 7th and 8th graders. My fingers are crossed that the day goes well, and I return home with 90, 7th and 8th graders. But, all of this fuss has made me lose a lot of the excitement I had yesterday.
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Am I hormonal much? Sigh.
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Tonight was Open House. Why we hold an Open House 15 days before the end of the school year is beyond me. Of course, I ran into a parent I went to junior high school with. Um, am I old enough to have a 12/13 year old? Don't answer that.
I am totally beat. I didn't get a chance to come home until after the whole thing was finished. 13 hour work days suck.
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15 more school days until summer!
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Latest from my student's mom: "Don't call me about this anymore. If you need something or have something to say, call her father." Um. Okay. This response was prompted from a request to sign papers to have medical records released to us.
Talking to the girl's psych was no better. He's been sent the medical release twice, but can't ever seem to find it. My guess is that he'll continue to not be able to find it for, say, 15 more days. I bet he finds it then.
We still have no info on this poor girl. I am seriously worried.
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Am I hormonal much? Sigh.
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Tonight was Open House. Why we hold an Open House 15 days before the end of the school year is beyond me. Of course, I ran into a parent I went to junior high school with. Um, am I old enough to have a 12/13 year old? Don't answer that.
I am totally beat. I didn't get a chance to come home until after the whole thing was finished. 13 hour work days suck.
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15 more school days until summer!
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Latest from my student's mom: "Don't call me about this anymore. If you need something or have something to say, call her father." Um. Okay. This response was prompted from a request to sign papers to have medical records released to us.
Talking to the girl's psych was no better. He's been sent the medical release twice, but can't ever seem to find it. My guess is that he'll continue to not be able to find it for, say, 15 more days. I bet he finds it then.
We still have no info on this poor girl. I am seriously worried.
Because I Tempted Fate and Thought It Couldn't Get Worse...
We have a field trip planned to an area university. It is all set for Friday. Paid our money for the buses and everything. Kids are excited. I am excited. My sub has been called.
Only today I find that the college has had a special visitor over the last week.
You bettcha. Swine flu.
I'm waiting to see how my district responds. Not holding my breathe that it will end with a happy teacher and students.
Sigh.
Is if freaking Friday yet? Seriously. This is ridiculous.
Only today I find that the college has had a special visitor over the last week.
You bettcha. Swine flu.
I'm waiting to see how my district responds. Not holding my breathe that it will end with a happy teacher and students.
Sigh.
Is if freaking Friday yet? Seriously. This is ridiculous.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Is It Friday Yet?
My suicidal student was in school today. I was assured that she'd be on independent study for the remainder of the school year because she has not been doing very well in a school setting. Last week alone, she snuck off campus with another student (a young man, also mine, who I have in the same class) through a hole in the fence and was gone for nearly two hours before they were found, she was in a fight which was so intense, it took 3 adults to pull her off of the other girl, and she has been defiant and belligerent in most of her classes (thankfully not mine). She is quite literally a time bomb waiting to go off; we're not sure she is taking her meds; and sadly, the school has not received any formal information on how to care for her from anyone other than her mother, who is not currently taking her own meds for a bi-polar disorder. (oh, yes, mom has told us that)
The administration had convinced the mother that the girl was better off at home. We'd reassess during the summer, talk with the girl's doctors, and devise a plan on how to best manage her at school next year. It was a done deal.
So, when I saw her in her seat, I emailed the counselor asking what was going on with the student. The best part is that NO ONE KNEW SHE WAS IN SCHOOL! Um, it was 3rd freaking period at that point.
And why was she there? Because she was bugging her mom.
Lovely.
We had a lock down today for over an hour today. The office first called it as a level 1 lock down--meaning there was an immanent threat to students/staff on campus. Blinds are pulled and closed. Windows are covered. Students are to sit silently in the corner of the room, out of sight. I heard the call, my adrenaline started coursing through my veins. My blinds were pulled and the kids were moving to the corner when they changed it to a level 2 lock down. The danger was in a surrounding area, and no threat was directly on campus.
Oh, and at about the same time, my period started.
Lovelier.
And why? Because there was a police involved shooting on a street adjacent to the school. Most likely a family member of one of our students.
Loveliest.
Which leads me back to my question. Is it freaking Friday yet?
The administration had convinced the mother that the girl was better off at home. We'd reassess during the summer, talk with the girl's doctors, and devise a plan on how to best manage her at school next year. It was a done deal.
So, when I saw her in her seat, I emailed the counselor asking what was going on with the student. The best part is that NO ONE KNEW SHE WAS IN SCHOOL! Um, it was 3rd freaking period at that point.
And why was she there? Because she was bugging her mom.
Lovely.
We had a lock down today for over an hour today. The office first called it as a level 1 lock down--meaning there was an immanent threat to students/staff on campus. Blinds are pulled and closed. Windows are covered. Students are to sit silently in the corner of the room, out of sight. I heard the call, my adrenaline started coursing through my veins. My blinds were pulled and the kids were moving to the corner when they changed it to a level 2 lock down. The danger was in a surrounding area, and no threat was directly on campus.
Oh, and at about the same time, my period started.
Lovelier.
And why? Because there was a police involved shooting on a street adjacent to the school. Most likely a family member of one of our students.
Loveliest.
Which leads me back to my question. Is it freaking Friday yet?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Check
Blemishes - check
back pain - check
cramps - check
general pissiness - check
CD26 (of a 26-28 day cycle) - check
meds ready and waiting - check
AF - - check minus; by the feel of things, it should arrive at any time
But, the thought of cycling in a matter of days scares the shit out of me. I want it just as bad as I did when I tried the first time around. Still...I am dragging my feet. What is wrong with me?
I waffle back and forth between pure excitement at the prospect of adding to our family and full out, sweat drenched panic.
Plus, I haven't scheduled an hsg. I want to but can't get myself to call. WTF, Stacie?
All I can think about is whether trying again is just going to tempt fate. I wasn't so successful at the whole pregnancy thing the first, or second, or even the third time around when I carried the boys, so what makes me think that I'll be able to do things better than I did then?
I've had a few NICU dreams lately, too. Big, bad, scary NICU dreams at that.
Sigh.
I am leaning toward waiting one more month to start my cycle. That should put my start date somewhere at the end of June. I'll be out of school by then finally, which will help with the logistics.
Maybe when there is less external noise surrounding me I'll be able to focus on and quiet the internal noise, too?
back pain - check
cramps - check
general pissiness - check
CD26 (of a 26-28 day cycle) - check
meds ready and waiting - check
AF - - check minus; by the feel of things, it should arrive at any time
But, the thought of cycling in a matter of days scares the shit out of me. I want it just as bad as I did when I tried the first time around. Still...I am dragging my feet. What is wrong with me?
I waffle back and forth between pure excitement at the prospect of adding to our family and full out, sweat drenched panic.
Plus, I haven't scheduled an hsg. I want to but can't get myself to call. WTF, Stacie?
All I can think about is whether trying again is just going to tempt fate. I wasn't so successful at the whole pregnancy thing the first, or second, or even the third time around when I carried the boys, so what makes me think that I'll be able to do things better than I did then?
I've had a few NICU dreams lately, too. Big, bad, scary NICU dreams at that.
Sigh.
I am leaning toward waiting one more month to start my cycle. That should put my start date somewhere at the end of June. I'll be out of school by then finally, which will help with the logistics.
Maybe when there is less external noise surrounding me I'll be able to focus on and quiet the internal noise, too?
Monday, May 25, 2009
Meme-orial Day!
Hope you all had a great day. We did a little shopping and continued with the lazy weekend theme. It was so nice. Of course it would have been even nicer had Is.aac got up this morning like he was supposed to--I ignored the boys as long as I could and made every attempt to get my husband up to no avail. Oh, well. I get next week then. (and then I'm putting in ear plugs at around 7 am)
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Courtesy of/swiped from Twinfatuation, here are some easy tips to determine your name for future ventures:
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) Bear Pilot
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) Chocolate Oreo
3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)S-Lop
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) Green Cat
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Lea Winslow
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)Lopst
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) Blue Pepsi
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers) Elmer Joe
9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy) Cinnamon Peanut Butter Cups
10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names) Jean Martin
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) Stewart Seattle
12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower) Spring Rose
13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)Strawberry jeansie
14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) Cocoa Pebbles Oak
15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”) Reading Rain Tour
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From the wonderful Kristin (originally sent to me on Face.book, but I thought I'd put it here, too)
IT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS! HIT FORWARD, ERASE MY ANSWERS, ENTER YOURS, USE THE 1ST LETTER OF YOUR LAST NAME TO ANSWER EACH OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. THEY HAVE TO BE REAL PLACES, NAMES, THINGS. NOTHING MADE UP! TRY TO USE DIFFERENT ANSWERS IF THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU HAD THE SAME 1ST INITIAL. YOU CAN'T USE YOUR NAME FOR THE BOY/GIRL NAME QUESTION.
Have Fun
1. Your last name: Lo.pez
2. A four letter word: Lust
3. A Boys Name: Larry
4. A Girls name: Louise
5. An Occupation: Lieutenant
6. A Color: Lime
7. Something you wear: Leash (um, I don't wear one, but I hear people do)
8. A Beverage: Lemonade
9. Food: Lasagna
10. Something found in the bathroom: Lysol
11. A place: Louisiana
12. Reason for being late: Loven it up
13. Something you shout: Look!
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Courtesy of/swiped from Twinfatuation, here are some easy tips to determine your name for future ventures:
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) Bear Pilot
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) Chocolate Oreo
3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)S-Lop
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) Green Cat
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Lea Winslow
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)Lopst
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) Blue Pepsi
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers) Elmer Joe
9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy) Cinnamon Peanut Butter Cups
10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names) Jean Martin
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) Stewart Seattle
12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower) Spring Rose
13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)Strawberry jeansie
14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) Cocoa Pebbles Oak
15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”) Reading Rain Tour
---
From the wonderful Kristin (originally sent to me on Face.book, but I thought I'd put it here, too)
IT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS! HIT FORWARD, ERASE MY ANSWERS, ENTER YOURS, USE THE 1ST LETTER OF YOUR LAST NAME TO ANSWER EACH OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. THEY HAVE TO BE REAL PLACES, NAMES, THINGS. NOTHING MADE UP! TRY TO USE DIFFERENT ANSWERS IF THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU HAD THE SAME 1ST INITIAL. YOU CAN'T USE YOUR NAME FOR THE BOY/GIRL NAME QUESTION.
Have Fun
1. Your last name: Lo.pez
2. A four letter word: Lust
3. A Boys Name: Larry
4. A Girls name: Louise
5. An Occupation: Lieutenant
6. A Color: Lime
7. Something you wear: Leash (um, I don't wear one, but I hear people do)
8. A Beverage: Lemonade
9. Food: Lasagna
10. Something found in the bathroom: Lysol
11. A place: Louisiana
12. Reason for being late: Loven it up
13. Something you shout: Look!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Lazy Weekend
We're enjoying a lazy weekend over here. You know what? That is just the way I like it, too.
On Saturday afternoon, we took the boys to a family gathering at a church. It was actually to celebrate Is.aac's second cousin's 13th birthday. For all real purposes, it was sort of like a christian version of a bar mitzvah. But, let me just say that I wasn't privy to the fact that the family in question was that religious. Um, they are. Very. We're talking hands raised and praying for nearly two hours straight religious. If that experience was any indication, I am officially a heathen. Jeez. The best news, though, was that no one said, "I want you to play with my ding-a-ling," during any of the prayers. Thank goodness, because that little saying would have most certainly cemented my heathen status, something second only to me standing at the doorway, handing out hand baskets and asking if anyone want to take a ride.*
Anywho, after the service, there was a small reception. The boys acted beautifully. Sh.awn even went to a few family members and was his charming self. Ja.son, however, wanted nothing to do with anyone but me for the entire day. (I held him for four hours straight! Oh, my, I am so sore today.) They got to bounce in a jolly jumper for a bit and had a grand ole time. All in all, the outing was a success. :-)
Today we spent the morning hanging out and playing. When the boys went down for their naps, I headed over to my mom's to help her finish a few things on her new laundry room. We fixed the crown molding; I installed her phone jack, and moved her outlet. Everything went smoothly except for the stupid crown molding. We made it work, but it isn't as perfect as I would like it to be. Sigh. Then we planned out how we'll tile her living room. I'm thinking it isn't going to be too bad, I am just not looking forward to getting on my knees for that long.
Tomorrow is still up in the air as far as what we'll do. I want to head to the store to buy a little gifty poo for someone very sweet and deserving. After that, who knows? There is the possibility of yet another family get together, but we're not sure if we are ready to deal with them so soon. I do know that whatever happens, I get to sleep in. Is.aac's on morning duty tomorrow! Woo Who!
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*My status among Is.aac's family is already in question anyway. I've mentioned it before--anything that remotely deals with religion is VERY complicated. There is a mixture of every religion known to man between our two families, so it can be a challenge to please anyone. So my tactic is to not worry about it. Therein lies the problem with some of the family members on his side. It is definitely a case if damned if I do, damned if I don't.
On Saturday afternoon, we took the boys to a family gathering at a church. It was actually to celebrate Is.aac's second cousin's 13th birthday. For all real purposes, it was sort of like a christian version of a bar mitzvah. But, let me just say that I wasn't privy to the fact that the family in question was that religious. Um, they are. Very. We're talking hands raised and praying for nearly two hours straight religious. If that experience was any indication, I am officially a heathen. Jeez. The best news, though, was that no one said, "I want you to play with my ding-a-ling," during any of the prayers. Thank goodness, because that little saying would have most certainly cemented my heathen status, something second only to me standing at the doorway, handing out hand baskets and asking if anyone want to take a ride.*
Anywho, after the service, there was a small reception. The boys acted beautifully. Sh.awn even went to a few family members and was his charming self. Ja.son, however, wanted nothing to do with anyone but me for the entire day. (I held him for four hours straight! Oh, my, I am so sore today.) They got to bounce in a jolly jumper for a bit and had a grand ole time. All in all, the outing was a success. :-)
Today we spent the morning hanging out and playing. When the boys went down for their naps, I headed over to my mom's to help her finish a few things on her new laundry room. We fixed the crown molding; I installed her phone jack, and moved her outlet. Everything went smoothly except for the stupid crown molding. We made it work, but it isn't as perfect as I would like it to be. Sigh. Then we planned out how we'll tile her living room. I'm thinking it isn't going to be too bad, I am just not looking forward to getting on my knees for that long.
Tomorrow is still up in the air as far as what we'll do. I want to head to the store to buy a little gifty poo for someone very sweet and deserving. After that, who knows? There is the possibility of yet another family get together, but we're not sure if we are ready to deal with them so soon. I do know that whatever happens, I get to sleep in. Is.aac's on morning duty tomorrow! Woo Who!
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*My status among Is.aac's family is already in question anyway. I've mentioned it before--anything that remotely deals with religion is VERY complicated. There is a mixture of every religion known to man between our two families, so it can be a challenge to please anyone. So my tactic is to not worry about it. Therein lies the problem with some of the family members on his side. It is definitely a case if damned if I do, damned if I don't.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Yesterday was a really hard day. Really hard. We watched the administration take the keys of a fellow teacher and walk him off campus to never return. The aftermath of that moment, most specifically watching our union representative, a very dear friend who had been there when the teacher was told, cry for hours because of how helpless she felt in the situation--she couldn't stop the train wreck that was sure to happen, will be with me for along time.
He is a nice man. He is a caring father. He is my friend. But, he has some anger issues most likely intensified because he was there that day last year. It makes me so sad that this is yet another casualty of PTSD. How many more will it claim?
He is a nice man. He is a caring father. He is my friend. But, he has some anger issues most likely intensified because he was there that day last year. It makes me so sad that this is yet another casualty of PTSD. How many more will it claim?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Welcome ICLW'ers!
It is once again my favorite part of the month. Welcome ICLW'ers!
Who am I?
I'm Stacie:
S - sarcastic on all days; strong on most days; sad on some days
T - teacher; tired; terrific (heh)
A - always late --my new middle name
C - caring and sometimes creative
I - in love with my boys, my husband, and chocolate
E - enjoys reading (but rarely have time), blogging, and spending time with my family
You can learn more about me on the sidebar (my about section is freakishly long). I can't wait to read everyone's blogs.
Who am I?
I'm Stacie:
S - sarcastic on all days; strong on most days; sad on some days
T - teacher; tired; terrific (heh)
A - always late --my new middle name
C - caring and sometimes creative
I - in love with my boys, my husband, and chocolate
E - enjoys reading (but rarely have time), blogging, and spending time with my family
You can learn more about me on the sidebar (my about section is freakishly long). I can't wait to read everyone's blogs.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
There is something wrong with your husband singing "My Ding-a-ling" while he is bathing your children, isn't there? It has become a nightly ritual, started because he keeps losing the rock/paper/scissors game we play to see who gets to bath in all the water that Sh.awn shares. It is his evil attempt to get back at me or something. He is trying hard to get Ja.son to say ding-a-ling, too. Just what I need for him to say sometime out in public. Better yet, I can picture him saying it this weekend when we all go to a church gathering shindig for Is.aac's second cousin. Yep...I picture it now...the church is quiet, listening to some sort of saintly words when my child will say, clear as day, "I want to play with my ding-a-ling!" And I will feel like dying from embarrassment while my husband basks in a moment of pure pride as he beams at his two sons. Men.
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Feeling better--stronger today. :-) There wasn't a whole lot of sunshine, but it sure is easier to cope with the clouds when your reserves have recharged some. Sometimes I think my batteries need to reach empty for that recharging to begin. It sucks while it is happening, but I sure do feel better at the end.
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Feeling better--stronger today. :-) There wasn't a whole lot of sunshine, but it sure is easier to cope with the clouds when your reserves have recharged some. Sometimes I think my batteries need to reach empty for that recharging to begin. It sucks while it is happening, but I sure do feel better at the end.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Have you ever had a day that has made you feel like a teeny, tiny speck among the huge universe? Today I couldn't shake that feeling. Everything in my world just seemed so overwhelming and difficult--everything became a challenge to overcome. Many times, I felt like finding a hole to crawl into for the rest of the day. (a luxury that I didn't get) Just being me was hard.
It's made me weepy and sad throughout the day, too. Bleh. I am hoping that tomorrow brings a little more sunshine...
It's made me weepy and sad throughout the day, too. Bleh. I am hoping that tomorrow brings a little more sunshine...
Monday, May 18, 2009
OMG! Because You Rock! Day
Last week, I participated in OMG! Because You Rock! day put on by the wonderful Liv. Liv created this day to give a positive twist to Mother's Day, a day that often "leave(s) you with a feeling of sadness, dread and anxiousness... (for those of us who struggle with infertility--even when you've made it to the other side!)...and replace it with a day of giddy anticipation, friendship, and happiness." To celebrate, we had a gift and card exchange.
First, I had a lot of fun getting to know a new blogger, Kristen, and trying to select a gift she'd like. (I have to say that finding something for someone you don't know very well is a challenge I didn't appreciate until after the fact!)
Now selecting a gift for Kristen was fun, but it wasn't anywhere near as fun as it was to actually get a gift! That part, I loved! I got a hilarious gift from the wonderful Victoria. She got her inspiration from this post here, my post about my compulsive list making. I laughed out loud when I saw this...
How funny, right? The back of it says, "Even the saintliest among us get pissed off sometimes--what better way to express our peeves to loved ones?"
I totally got right to work on Is.aac's first list. This time I checked: bogart the remote, snore, leave clothes in the washer, drive like a grandma (he so does), sweat, expect me to do it, burp at the table (really, that is for all the males here), and be obsessive compulsive. Ha! He just rolled his eyes at me when I gave it to him, but I am not deterred! :-)
Along with the list pad, Victoria sent me cute notebook pads (on recycled paper) to write in...
Sorry it's on its side.
Thank you, Victoria! Your gift was absolutely perfect! OMG! You totally Rock!
First, I had a lot of fun getting to know a new blogger, Kristen, and trying to select a gift she'd like. (I have to say that finding something for someone you don't know very well is a challenge I didn't appreciate until after the fact!)
Now selecting a gift for Kristen was fun, but it wasn't anywhere near as fun as it was to actually get a gift! That part, I loved! I got a hilarious gift from the wonderful Victoria. She got her inspiration from this post here, my post about my compulsive list making. I laughed out loud when I saw this...
How funny, right? The back of it says, "Even the saintliest among us get pissed off sometimes--what better way to express our peeves to loved ones?"I totally got right to work on Is.aac's first list. This time I checked: bogart the remote, snore, leave clothes in the washer, drive like a grandma (he so does), sweat, expect me to do it, burp at the table (really, that is for all the males here), and be obsessive compulsive. Ha! He just rolled his eyes at me when I gave it to him, but I am not deterred! :-)
Along with the list pad, Victoria sent me cute notebook pads (on recycled paper) to write in...
There are two of them in this bundle, and both will come in handy for even more list making! I won't have to feel so bad for writing them, either. :-)
She also sent me a lovely note with everything all wrapped up in a cute little package...
Sorry it's on its side.Thank you, Victoria! Your gift was absolutely perfect! OMG! You totally Rock!
Yesterday marks the end of those very dark days last year. Yesterday, one year ago, Sh.awn finally came home from the hospital for the last time, and I got to see his sweet smile once again. I am hoping that now the last anniversary from those days is over, I'll be able to get even further on my way toward healing and putting it all in the past. It has been a long time since I had a nightmare about that time, so maybe it is working? Plus, Sh.awn spit up the other day and I didn't freak out and think the worst. I'd say there is at least some progress happening.
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True to form, just as Ja.son was finally feeling better, Sh.awn decided it was his turn to get sick. Once Sh.awn feels better, Ja.son will take his turn again. I swear this is some sort of vicious circle. The sad part is that I know I'm the one bringing all of this crap home to them, but I can't seem to keep it all away from here. Short of jumping into some sort of sterilizing solution and burning my clothes, I really can't do much more than I am doing. I mean, I am really careful at work. But still they get sick. Then I get sick. Sigh.
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I am still frustrated with work, too. It is just the little things that are throwing me over the edge and putting me in a foul mood. There's the whole have to change my grade level (from 7th to 8th) because teachers are "fragile" and "have had a tough year" thing which is still annoying me. Plus, today, my department was supposed to bring in food goodies for a thing we call "Motiva.tional Mondays." (We started it up at the end of the school year so each department is responsible for a Monday until the last week of school. Today was our day, but only four of the eight of us remembered to bring something.) So, my least favorite coworker in my department sent out an all school email saying that because we forgot, we'd bring goodies again this Friday. I am not taking one for the team AGAIN because people don't do what they are supposed to do. I made a buttload of homemade cinnamon rolls and brought them on time. I am not bringing anything else. I sent him and the rest of my department a snarky reply and felt a little better about it. Of course, when I read it here it seems so trivial. It still pisses me off, though.
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Is.aac is once again playing poker. He's trying to win a free ticket to the Wo.rld Ser.ies of Poker in Las Vegas. He has tried for four different weeks so far, but each time he misses the semifinals by one or two places. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he finally gets there. Let's just say that I am ready for an end to his poker days for a while. (Is that horrible of me to say?)
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True to form, just as Ja.son was finally feeling better, Sh.awn decided it was his turn to get sick. Once Sh.awn feels better, Ja.son will take his turn again. I swear this is some sort of vicious circle. The sad part is that I know I'm the one bringing all of this crap home to them, but I can't seem to keep it all away from here. Short of jumping into some sort of sterilizing solution and burning my clothes, I really can't do much more than I am doing. I mean, I am really careful at work. But still they get sick. Then I get sick. Sigh.
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I am still frustrated with work, too. It is just the little things that are throwing me over the edge and putting me in a foul mood. There's the whole have to change my grade level (from 7th to 8th) because teachers are "fragile" and "have had a tough year" thing which is still annoying me. Plus, today, my department was supposed to bring in food goodies for a thing we call "Motiva.tional Mondays." (We started it up at the end of the school year so each department is responsible for a Monday until the last week of school. Today was our day, but only four of the eight of us remembered to bring something.) So, my least favorite coworker in my department sent out an all school email saying that because we forgot, we'd bring goodies again this Friday. I am not taking one for the team AGAIN because people don't do what they are supposed to do. I made a buttload of homemade cinnamon rolls and brought them on time. I am not bringing anything else. I sent him and the rest of my department a snarky reply and felt a little better about it. Of course, when I read it here it seems so trivial. It still pisses me off, though.
----
Is.aac is once again playing poker. He's trying to win a free ticket to the Wo.rld Ser.ies of Poker in Las Vegas. He has tried for four different weeks so far, but each time he misses the semifinals by one or two places. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he finally gets there. Let's just say that I am ready for an end to his poker days for a while. (Is that horrible of me to say?)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Post on the Fly
This is a fly by post. Things have been crazy here this week.
Ja.son did manage to develop the ear infection. Fun. He has been such a bear to be around this week because of it. He wants to be held at all times, and I better not even think of touching (or looking at) Sh.awn or all hell breaks loose. I swear I have held that kid for four days straight. Keep your fingers crossed. I think he might be feeling better today--finally.
---
We are in the middle of state testing this week. That in itself isn't all that horrible, but the way the administration set up the testing schedule leaves something to be desired. The kids are with me for 4 hours straight. Again, that isn't horrible in itself, but I have one particular student who is driving me up the wall. Granted, he can drive me up the wall in a regular 53 minute period, but I am getting way too much time with this kid. (I realize that this sounds terrible, but dude. This kid is high maintenance.)
---
I just got word today that the principal is going to make me change grade levels next year. I am most upset about the whole thing. The reason? State layoffs have meant we had to reduce our department by one teacher, which would leave 2 7th grade teachers, 2 8th grade teachers, and 1 teacher that does both 7th and 8th grade. One of the possible teachers had a "rough year," another teacher is "fragile," and the other choices went to talk to the principal and specifically asked to not be moved (why didn't I think of that?), which leaves me to take up the slack. Now I am all for being part of the team and all, but I am tired of having to take one for the team every single time because the people around me can't get their act together. Bleh. For just once, I'd like to be the one that everyone walked on eggshells around.
I told him if I HAVE to, I'd do it for 1 year and then expect the other teachers to take their turns. He agreed. It won't be finalized formally until closer to the end of school.
Oh, and the kid who is driving me up the wall was bestowed upon me by the teacher with the "rough year." Apparently I don't have tough students or rough years myself.
---
5 weeks of school left. Whoot!
---
I still have my post on OMG You Rock Day. I also got an award from Candi! Hoping that this weekend will bring a little more calm so I can actually focus on a little me time and do some blogging...
Ja.son did manage to develop the ear infection. Fun. He has been such a bear to be around this week because of it. He wants to be held at all times, and I better not even think of touching (or looking at) Sh.awn or all hell breaks loose. I swear I have held that kid for four days straight. Keep your fingers crossed. I think he might be feeling better today--finally.
---
We are in the middle of state testing this week. That in itself isn't all that horrible, but the way the administration set up the testing schedule leaves something to be desired. The kids are with me for 4 hours straight. Again, that isn't horrible in itself, but I have one particular student who is driving me up the wall. Granted, he can drive me up the wall in a regular 53 minute period, but I am getting way too much time with this kid. (I realize that this sounds terrible, but dude. This kid is high maintenance.)
---
I just got word today that the principal is going to make me change grade levels next year. I am most upset about the whole thing. The reason? State layoffs have meant we had to reduce our department by one teacher, which would leave 2 7th grade teachers, 2 8th grade teachers, and 1 teacher that does both 7th and 8th grade. One of the possible teachers had a "rough year," another teacher is "fragile," and the other choices went to talk to the principal and specifically asked to not be moved (why didn't I think of that?), which leaves me to take up the slack. Now I am all for being part of the team and all, but I am tired of having to take one for the team every single time because the people around me can't get their act together. Bleh. For just once, I'd like to be the one that everyone walked on eggshells around.
I told him if I HAVE to, I'd do it for 1 year and then expect the other teachers to take their turns. He agreed. It won't be finalized formally until closer to the end of school.
Oh, and the kid who is driving me up the wall was bestowed upon me by the teacher with the "rough year." Apparently I don't have tough students or rough years myself.
---
5 weeks of school left. Whoot!
---
I still have my post on OMG You Rock Day. I also got an award from Candi! Hoping that this weekend will bring a little more calm so I can actually focus on a little me time and do some blogging...
Monday, May 11, 2009
Perfect Moment Monday
I Capture
Perfect Moments.
Perfect Moments.
My Perfect Moment...
Sharing my first Mother's Day with my little Sh.awn. Last year he was lying in a hospital bed where my husband helplessly watched, his shunt externalized, fighting off an infection.
But this year?
This year he was in my arms.
And I loved every moment of it. :-)
I wanted to do a quick update to let you know that I am still around and all, but the boys both got some sort of nasty cold this weekend. Took Ja.son to the doctor today, as he always seems to get things faster and worse than his brother, and happily, his lungs were still clear. Unhappily, he had a 100.6 fever at the doctor's office (after Tylenol) and had a little fluid in his ear, but she didn't think it was an ear infection--yet. So we walked away without anything to treat him with again. Just watch and wait for any signs of progression. (That is why I brought him to the ped. in the first place--there were signs already. I think she thinks I go a little over board with the sickness stuff. At least she saw he had a fever. Usually she doesn't even see that. Sigh.)
I have an update on the nice OMG! You Rock Day gift I got from Victoria I'll put up in the not too distant future. (Thanks, Victoria! I love it!) You know, like when I am able to extract a baby from my chest. TTYS.
I have an update on the nice OMG! You Rock Day gift I got from Victoria I'll put up in the not too distant future. (Thanks, Victoria! I love it!) You know, like when I am able to extract a baby from my chest. TTYS.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Nothing Compares
How can I write anything as great as my last post? I just can't. Nothing else going on with us even compares. Maybe posting this dumb little bit will help me get over that feeling...
I've been tiling my mom's laundry room the last two nights after work. Last night was the worst because I had to chip through so very uneven concrete. We finally got it leveled enough to get the tile down, so all that is left is grouting. My arm feels like it is going to fall off today. It's so, so sore. Yet another reminder that I am not as young as I used to be. Sigh.
I've been tiling my mom's laundry room the last two nights after work. Last night was the worst because I had to chip through so very uneven concrete. We finally got it leveled enough to get the tile down, so all that is left is grouting. My arm feels like it is going to fall off today. It's so, so sore. Yet another reminder that I am not as young as I used to be. Sigh.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Fucking Amazing.
My child is fucking amazing. There is no other way to put it. Sh.awn rocked his Early Intervention evaluation last week. I. Mean. He. FUCKING. ROCKED. IT!
He scored at (or above) his adjusted age of 15 months in all areas except fine motor, which was at 13 months. Gross motor wasn't finished yet, and I can guess that it will be lower due to Sh.awn's issues with his arm, but...
Oh. My. God.
I am in heaven. When I get the official copy, I'll be sure to share.
I think I need to go cry now. And for once, these will be happy tears. :-)
P.S. Ja.son's eval was written yet, so I'll see it next week.
He scored at (or above) his adjusted age of 15 months in all areas except fine motor, which was at 13 months. Gross motor wasn't finished yet, and I can guess that it will be lower due to Sh.awn's issues with his arm, but...
Oh. My. God.
I am in heaven. When I get the official copy, I'll be sure to share.
I think I need to go cry now. And for once, these will be happy tears. :-)
P.S. Ja.son's eval was written yet, so I'll see it next week.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
I ♥ Faces - Week 17
I thought I would try a new thing with all of the pictures I take of the boys. I found a place called I ♥ Faces, which is a photography site. What I loved about what I saw is that this site is "focused on the art of capturing faces and their various emotions. Each week, people from across the world have the opportunity to enter their favorite face photos into two categories ~ kids and adults." How great is that?
This week's theme is "Hats," which is a perfect way to get my feet wet in the photography world because 1) I take loads of pictures of the boys, 2) I make them wear hats whenever we go outside so I have loads of pictures of them in hats, and 3) Dude. My kids are freaking cute! (Ahem. It isn't like I am biased or anything, though.)
So here it goes...
This week's theme is "Hats."
Kids Category:
I chose this picture of Ja.son because I am just in love with the look he is giving here. It is a look he saves just for me. He just looks so content. :-)
Unfortunately, I can only choose one picture to submit, but I have to say that this picture of Sh.awn is a close runner up. (Frankly, I was torn between the two pictures.) I just love how happy Sh.awn is here. Seeing him like this brings back a flood of memories from that day and makes my heart smile right along with him.
Be sure to head on over to http://www.iheartfaces.com/ to check out all of the beautiful face entries this week!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
What Not Cycling Does to Me & a Shout Out for Sh.awn
Having a slight panic attack here. It is only one freaking month. I feel like I MUST be cycling...doing something because TIME IS F'ING RUNNING OUT!!!! While the sane part of me realizes that in reality it isn't, that neurotic side (who apparently is quite the bully) is definitely winning the war at the moment.
Why am I letting skipping one month send such a wave of pure fear throughout my entire body?
Chill, Stacie. Chill.
---
Here is my little Sh.awn Bon saying his first word on camera. (he says 5 words--momma, dadda, hi, kiiiii (kitty) and hey) Oh, and look at him work that right hand! He's using it a lot more all of a sudden. :-)
Why am I letting skipping one month send such a wave of pure fear throughout my entire body?
Chill, Stacie. Chill.
---
Here is my little Sh.awn Bon saying his first word on camera. (he says 5 words--momma, dadda, hi, kiiiii (kitty) and hey) Oh, and look at him work that right hand! He's using it a lot more all of a sudden. :-)
Friday, May 1, 2009
What to Do? What to Do?
I started my period about an hour and a half ago. That makes tomorrow the official CD1. It's decision time. Sigh.
I have played the scenarios in my head over and over again, but the focus of my thoughts revolve around my tube. The post op notes clearly say hydrosalpinx. The OB that delivered the boys said she had trouble stopping my tube from bleeding. There is something not right there. I can feel it. My gut is telling me that I need to get the tube issue investigated further. My RE may not be "impressed" with what he read in the notes, but I am. He tends to believe that because 1)we haven't seen evidence of a hydrosalpinx via ultrasound (which studies show in that case removal of the tube would be necessary for successful IVF. Hydrosalpinx fluid contains chemicals called cytokines that interfere with implantation and pregnancy), and 2) my tubes were clear three years ago, whatever is going on with them won't be an issue now, either. He may very well be right. Then again, he might not be.
All I can think of is that I have the same feeling now that I had when I miscarried. I KNEW it needed to be investigated after my first miscarriage. My gut told me something was wrong, but I let the doctor convince me that the loss was just bad luck. When miscarriage number two happened, I pushed for testing, and lo and behold, we found problems. Ugly problems. We took care of the problems and a pregnancy stuck. That wasn't a coincidence in my opinion.
Nothing good comes from ignoring my gut. So, I am sitting this cycle out and pushing for at least an HSG. If that comes back clear, I will feel much more comfortable moving on. If it isn't clear, then we can take care of the tube issue BEFORE I go through the financial and emotional toll of another IVF cycle. I don't want to have to do this more than once if I can help it. I need to make sure that I have done all that I can to make sure that this once has the best chance possible. (Can you believe how freaking cocky I seem in those last two sentences?)
The plan, then, is that I get a HSG done within the next two weeks, get the all clear, and wait out this cycle. I should start AF again at the end of the month. Then let the race begin!
I have played the scenarios in my head over and over again, but the focus of my thoughts revolve around my tube. The post op notes clearly say hydrosalpinx. The OB that delivered the boys said she had trouble stopping my tube from bleeding. There is something not right there. I can feel it. My gut is telling me that I need to get the tube issue investigated further. My RE may not be "impressed" with what he read in the notes, but I am. He tends to believe that because 1)we haven't seen evidence of a hydrosalpinx via ultrasound (which studies show in that case removal of the tube would be necessary for successful IVF. Hydrosalpinx fluid contains chemicals called cytokines that interfere with implantation and pregnancy), and 2) my tubes were clear three years ago, whatever is going on with them won't be an issue now, either. He may very well be right. Then again, he might not be.
All I can think of is that I have the same feeling now that I had when I miscarried. I KNEW it needed to be investigated after my first miscarriage. My gut told me something was wrong, but I let the doctor convince me that the loss was just bad luck. When miscarriage number two happened, I pushed for testing, and lo and behold, we found problems. Ugly problems. We took care of the problems and a pregnancy stuck. That wasn't a coincidence in my opinion.
Nothing good comes from ignoring my gut. So, I am sitting this cycle out and pushing for at least an HSG. If that comes back clear, I will feel much more comfortable moving on. If it isn't clear, then we can take care of the tube issue BEFORE I go through the financial and emotional toll of another IVF cycle. I don't want to have to do this more than once if I can help it. I need to make sure that I have done all that I can to make sure that this once has the best chance possible. (Can you believe how freaking cocky I seem in those last two sentences?)
The plan, then, is that I get a HSG done within the next two weeks, get the all clear, and wait out this cycle. I should start AF again at the end of the month. Then let the race begin!
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