Jack is 3!

Contrary to how my posts sometimes make it seem, things are pretty awesome around these parts. :)



Big boy has his well baby visit today. He's 40.5 inches tall and weighs 35 pounds (with clothes and shoes). Per the pediatrician, "You've got yourself a big one." lol.

Birthday Eve

Look at that face and
his new 3 year old haircut!

I kissed Jack goodnight this evening. Our game of ten kisses held a lot more meaning as we kissed away the year of 2.

Tomorrow, our little guy will wake up to a whole new adventure.

Wow.

I'm struggling to wrap my mind around it.

This year our Jack found his voice and opinion, and turned his walk into a run.

His determination and creativity reached a whole new level. He became a master strategist and quite literally decided that there ain't no mountain high enough to keep him away from what he wants.

This was the year of extremes, filled with much wonder, imagination, and delight, and many moments of frustration, tantrums, and "No's" (from both him and us).

Our Jack has become a pretty amazing little person this year.

Two has been more fun than I could have imagined.

It is so hard to believe Jack is a few short hours away from turning 3 years old. I'm not sure what this year will bring, but it is bound to be interesting!

Calm Is Not My Friend

While my life is often filled with happiness and lots of laughter, it's damn hard, too.

I forget to give myself credit for the living with and being happy in spite of the Hard. I'm tired, though. There is a lot of stuff to have to juggle. Rather than recognize that, I tend to beat myself up for not doing enough! being enough! saying enough! and a variety of other verbs listed before enough!

I even beat myself up for beating myself up. (I get caught up in that vicious cycle, as I am my own worst enemy.)

Sigh.

~~~

It's obvious that things have been rough lately. I thought I had handled everything well enough; I was upset and angry, but not "overly" so. I was worried about our financial welfare, but I put it into perspective the best I could. One by one, I ticked through the crises that crossed our paths, dealing with what I (we) could while dismissing what was out of my control. I was cool and deliberate as I (we) did what needed to be done.

In general, things are now okay.

And it's not like the things that are not okay are any worse than they were.

In all reality, things are actually calmer than they have been for a long, long time.

Without anything demanding my immediate attention, there is nothing left to do but deal with the emotional toll all this craziness has taken. My energy is spent, my patience is shot, and my sleep is challenged. Worse, it doesn't take much to push me over the edge. (You would not believe the meltdown ants on the counter again warranted. It wasn't pretty.)

Now I am wallowing in the Sad.

Frankly, the Sad can suck it.
 

Weekend Leftovers

The boys:

• Both boys even participated in a jog-a-thon event at school and had a blast.
• Ja.son's been showing off his walking for his class. The kids have been fabulous, encouraging him to take even more steps every day. Ja.son's "world record" at school is 17 independent steps. (Yes, they call it a "world record" at school!) One little classmate of his rushed to Is.aac one morning at drop off. She excitedly told Is.aac about Ja.son walking and told him it was amazing to see. Makes my heart happy to hear that the kids are so accepting of the boys.
• Sh.awn has been doing fabulously in class, although he is having some adjustment pains with his speech teacher. He's in a group of four boys, and he is having difficulty waiting his turn to speak. This does not surprise me at ALL. The boy loves to talk.
• Ja.son is easily reading second grade books. It is awesome to see. Sh.awn is reading kinder books and he loves it. He asks to read all the time. :) (Take that asshole neurosurgeon who told us he might never talk.)
• Jack turns three...THREE!...in 8 days. My mind struggles to wrap around that idea. It just doesn't seem possible. He is hard-headed and into everything, but he is so much fun. :) He loves his daddy something fierce. He likes the LeapFrog videos, dancing, and climbing. His three year appointment is on the 31st. I think he's pretty much where he should be developmentally, but he may be a bit behind with his talking. I am not exactly looking to pursue therapy for it right now (personally, I just think he doesn't talk as much because he has two brothers who never shut up), but we'll see how it goes.
• After two rounds of antibiotics, Sh.awn managed to get a yeast infection. That has won him a script for cream to be applied to his penis four times a day for seven days. This has also won me the role of getting far to intimate with said penis to apply to medication, because where is his daddy? No where to be found. The weasel.
• It is also very likely that his original bladder infection hasn't fully cleared (or is back?), so we need a urine sample. He was all "hell no!" about it in the ped's office, which put securing the sample on the agenda for tomorrow night.

My work:

• Things at my work have been challenging due to some of the adults. People are not doing what they should and they're passing the work to others to do for them. It's really starting to piss me off.
• Things have changed dramatically this year as far as state testing is concerned. All students must test on the computer, which has presented quite the problem. We have over 1000 students and only 2 testing locations at the moment and three more to come in the next week. (By testing locations, I really mean portable carts with 36 laptops. I asked why only 36 laptops on a cart when we have classes of 38-40 kids. The answer was that 36 was all that would fit on the cart. Way to think outside of the box people.)  Anyway, people's brains have been exploding trying to figure out how to make it all work. I came up with a workable plan--they were trying to put all the testing responsibility in the laps of my department which I was trying to stop--so my brain latched on to the problem and wouldn't stop until it was solved. Now things will be shared more equally between several departments instead of just mine. Go me.

Is.aac's work:

• Still nothing to report. :(

Other odds and ends:

• They're officially dropping my insurance company, which does mean I'll have to figure something out. There hasn't been any word on whether they'll add another provider so I can at least keep our medical group. I am not happy with our options as they are now. It all just makes me want to cry.
• I'm thinking of going back to blonde. I'm getting tired of the upkeep of dark hair. Reverse roots look like gray to me, so I color my roots a lot.
• Ten work days until spring break. Bring it.

I think that is everything for now. Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers.

A Minor Blip

It was bound to happen at some point.

After just over three weeks of fabulous days at school, Sh.awn's streak broke. It was bound to happen, and although I was expecting it to some degree, it was still disheartening.

It was adult error that sent him over the edge (the OT did not make a good first impression with anyone that day). Recover he did, of course, and things went much more smoothly for his second session with the OT thankfully. He is now back on track, but it took him several days to get to normal.

This definitely pointed out to everyone what a tenuous hold on security the poor boy has.

Other than this blip, things have been quiet. Sickness wise, we are all finally on the mend. Fingers crossed that we will be able to avoid anything new before the boys get out on spring break.

I'm a bit unsettle at the moment. There have been evenings when I have been able to watch some mind numbing television and (gasp!) even read. We've run in crisis mode for so long, I just don't know how to do calm.

It sure would be nice if I could get the chance to get used to it.

~~~

We had an earthquake on Monday morning. It was big enough to get our attention, but not so big that we felt any concern. It was barely over a 4, which in our neck of the woods is tiny.

The local news was on air when the earthquake hit. It still cracks me up to see this  anchor's reaction. I don't know for certain, but I'd guess he's not a native. lol

https://vine.co/v/MhiTilddQ1U

Weekend Leftovers

On Monday we took the big boys to the doctor. We left with scripts for antibiotics and steroids and were told to keep the boys out of school until at least Wednesday. Awesome.

It was a rough few days. They were miserable. We were miserable. No one slept. Ugh.

They were feeling better(ish) on Thursday, so we sent them to school. Ja.son seemed to be fine at school, but the teacher commented that Sh.awn was still coughing a lot. When we got home, I realized why. His already poured cough syrup was still sitting on the counter. We had forgotten to give it to him. Parenting fail.

Jack is now sick and doing just as much coughing as the big boys. He was up all last night, and it is looking like tonight will be long as well.

~~~

I've been emailing back and forth to the teacher about the IEP meeting. I started with thanking her for her support, but I went on to say that I was still shocked about how the meeting went. She agreed with me that the whole thing was just odd and freakishly easy. I'm glad I'm not alone in that thought. (I know it doesn't matter in the long run why it was easy, but it's bugging me because it was such a different experience than before.)

Anyway, I've said all along that the boys' teacher was a godsend for us. That sentiment was once again confirmed when, as part of our email thread back and forth, she wrote: "Lots of children have passed through my classes but some have something special to offer. It's the x-factor. Your boys have that. They seem to make people stop and take notice in the most positive of ways."

I big, puffy heart her.

~~~

It has been an especially challenging week at work. I was out on Monday with the boys.

Tuesday brought news that the husband of a co-worker passed away. The funeral is next Tuesday. Several of us are going to go to represent the staff, so we are scrambling to find enough subs to cover us.

Wednesday was spent giving presentations and tours to next year's incoming students from the feeder schools. I was supposed to present to the kids about the Honors program we have at our school and the program I coordinate, only I had no idea what was on the power point presentation that was used. I ended up having to wing it--not my favorite way to do things. Sigh.

Thursday brought a two and a half hour power outage due to some freak who climbed to the top of a utility pole and wouldn't come down. The power was cut to keep him from electrocuting himself while he, no lie, danced and played on the top of the pole. (It was quite the experience trying to teach in the dark during that time.) By Friday, I was already fighting a losing battle against the crud the boys brought home.

~~~

I haven't really shared the info about Is.aac being laid off of work at school. I don't really talk about stuff like that at work anyway, and frankly it hasn't really come up. Until Wednesday, that is. Someone asked directly about what Is.aac did at work, and well, I said he was not working at the moment. It just is what it is.

She did the whole, "How do you do it?" thing and said that I never seem to be thrown by all the craziness (her word) in my life.

I got the distinct impression that I was that person to her (and probably quite a few others). I am the one whose life is always a mess, who has every possible catastrophe happen, the one to which everyone compares her life and is thankful they are not me.

It feels awful to be that person, especially because I wouldn't trade my life for theirs.

~~~

Jack is in a total daddy phase. He will literally push me away so he can get to daddy. I'm trying to not be hurt by it, but I have to admit that it stings.

Sigh.

~~~

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers.

Done

We had the IEP meeting on Thursday. The district agreed to every thing I asked for without even batting an eye. Things I didn't even formally ask for were added to the amendment "to make sure we get these things done." Um...so yeah. It all went as well as I could have hoped (although I reserve my final judgment for when I get to see their plan for dealing with sub aides) which was a shocking surprise. It was easy, calm, and straight forward. I could almost go so far as to say that it was not unpleasant at all and was wrapped in only about thirty minutes.

This is going to sound strange, but it annoys me at how much noise had to be made to get to such a simple result. We've had to fight awfully hard only to have the district rep come in and act like everything was peachy and they'd do anything to accommodate us. I was ready to fight again. My adrenaline was pumping. And then? Nothing. I was telling Is.aac last night that it was disconcerting in a way. With the way my mind tends to overanalyze things, I have been stuck on this point. Why was this so easy when everything else, even getting the boys tested, was so damn challenging?

Was it simply because we were dealing with someone new? (thank goodness)

Did the district decide they just had nothing they could argue after how things were handled before this? (possibly)

Did the district decide that it just wasn't worth it to push back on these issues once they knew I wasn't going away? ("Don't fuck with me fellas."*)

I just don't know.

It was mentioned they've discussed at the district level how our situation was handled and that they have focused on what they can learn from it. I suppose that can only be a good thing, even if they learned nothing more than I am a bitch and will fight back for Sh.awn whenever I need to. It would be a bonus if they learned that flippant and rash decisions can so adversely affect children.

It still makes me intensely angry to think of the stress and anxiety we all felt during this time, especially Sh.awn. The meeting yesterday confirmed, once again, what I already knew - that his suffering was avoidable.

For now at least, I know I did something to prevent this kind of thing from ever happening to him again.

*Bonus points if you know where that quote is from. It's been playing in my head all week long. lol

Weekend Leftovers

The boys are sick again. When I heard those dreaded words, "Mom, my throat hurts." I wanted to just cry.

After everything we've been through this year, it will be the germs and lack of sleep from sick kids that break me. The boys are fine for a few days and then BAM. Someone starts to complain about not feeling well. Before I know it, everyone is sick. Then I get sick. The pattern keeps repeating. Ugh. I haven't been this sick since my first year of teaching.

Mid April can't get here fast enough.

~~~

Want to know what makes me happy? Getting an email that starts with a line like this, "Well, it has been a phenomenal two weeks for Sh.awn!"

It just doesn't get better than that! I am so, so proud of him!!!

~~~

It's been raining here the last few days. In a place where there is a perpetual drought, any rain is enough to cause widespread havoc. Lots of rain, like what we've had, makes things insane.

Yesterday morning we lost power. There was a question of whether we could even have school because the entire district was black. (It came back on at 7:20.) It rained hard enough to flood much of the outside areas of my school, which meant that pretty much everything was flooded because the entire school is open with just covered hallways. The school's solution was to block everything with yellow caution tape. If it wasn't so frustrating to maneuver, it would have been comical.

We're at 4 inches of rain and counting.

~~~

I ordered 4 boxes of Girl Scout cookies from a coworker. I got them on Wednesday.

Someone already ate 2 boxes. I don't know how that happened.

I may have a problem.

~~~

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers. :)