You Just Have to Laugh

Sh.awn had another great day. Let's keep marking those days off...only 8 more months to go.

~~~

(Cross posted with the boys' blog because how could I not share this here?)

Remember our picture day escapades? The ones in which attempt number one was a flop and day two, while successful in that pictures were actually taken, was not a whole lot better?

Well, we got the pictures today. I was so excited to see them; I could barely contain myself.

I rushed home after work, pulled out the pictures and saw Sh.awn.

He's got that side eyed look of someone not too sure of who he's looking at. His right eyebrow is slightly raised as if to punctuate the whole "Who the heck are you?" question. I don't know. Maybe the question is "What am I doing here?" Either way, he looks a tad bit confused about the whole thing. While my original assessment was that it wasn't the best picture of Sh.awn (by any stretch of the word), it was at least understandable once you consider the story behind it.

I chuckled to myself as I put his packet aside and pulled out Ja.son's packet.

I was rewarded with this gem. I laughed out loud again because, well, look at it.

The poor guy--his look is a cross between a half attempt at a nervous smile and the terrified, wide-eyed look of a guy with a demented creature knocking at his door. Ja.son's own words were, "What's wrong with me?" I told him I didn't know. We spent the next five minutes trying to get him to mimic that lip curl he's got going there. Of course HE COULDN'T DO IT!

Is.aac kept walking around saying that Ja.son's picture reminds him of someone. He finally figured out who a few minutes ago. You ready for this? He thinks Ja.son looks a lot like Debbie Downer. OMG. I nearly died.

Sigh. These kids of mine are quite the pair.

I'm torn on whether I should tempt fate for a third time (although it is supposed to be a charm) and try to get a better shot of each or just call it a day and go with these.

What do you think? ;-)

Friday Night Leftovers on Saturday Again

For the third year in a row, I stamped the boys' handprints. There is just something about their hands that fascinates me.


Shawn, Jason, and Jack (left to right)
September 28, 2013

Can you believe how big Jack's hands are?

~~~

We celebrated my mom's and Is.aac's birthdays today. We had a nice dinner and had cake and ice cream. It was really nice.

I got Is.aac a beef jerky of the month membership. You'd have thought I gave him a million dollars. I think he liked it.

My mom got him a food dehydrator so he can also make his own beef jerky. He's in the kitchen cutting up and marinating meat so he can make it tomorrow. I think the man may have a beef jerky problem. lol

~~~

October is going to be pretty fun. I'm not usually a big planner, but this month I've got a Pink concert, a run or dye 5k, and the boys' birthday. Exciting stuff!

~~~

Both big boys woke up with runny noses today. Jason complained his throat was bothering him tonight.

Le sigh.

~~~

Oh, I have to record this gem somewhere. This afternoon, Sh.awn peed his pants. (I don't know why. Maybe because he's sick?) Anyway, I was angry and yelled at him. "Why did you pee in  your pants, Sh.awn?"

His reply?

He said, "It's my day off!"

WTF? It's his day off so he can pee wherever he wants? Sigh. I told him that he doesn't get "a day off" from peeing in the toilet.

I swear it's moments like that that make me think they are trying to drive me crazy!

~~~

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers.

Could It Be?

He finished the week with glowing reports every single day. I am wildly proud of him. He has tried so HARD every day and is giving school all he's got. They're finally seeing it.

Dare I hope?

It has been a long six weeks, you guys.

I'm relieved and anxious and happy and afraid all rolled into one. What if this is only a temporary thing? We are not to the point that I can let down my guard, but maybe I'll get to that point soon.

Hopefully?

This weekend we are going to focus on celebrating the successful week. Sh.awn, and the rest of us for that matter, has earned it.

 

SO Hard to Be This Helpless

I can not tell you how incredibly hard it is to know so solidly in your heart that your child is smart and amazing while watching people at his school scramble.

To know what they are likely thinking.

To feel so helpless to do anything about it except continue to fight until they see what I see...what I know.

He is capable. He just isn't showing them he can do it at school. I can't blame him. It's easier not to, right? Plus he's always been so astute at reading people. He knows when people don't expect much from him.

I am not exaggerating when I say every adult in the school knows about my boy. I don't fool myself into believing that is because he's so damn cute.

The boys' teacher emails me updates every day. We've been going back and forth with ideas on how to best help Sh.awn figure out this new world of school for weeks now.

That's translated to the teacher (and aide #4) tweaking things daily, trying to see what works and what doesn't.

We had a break through on Monday, his teacher and I. She put it into action on Tuesday.

That has brought two amazing days in a row for Sh.awn. He's done more work in school in the last two days than he's done the entire school year thus far.

Now they finally see what I've been telling them all along.

Dare I hope that we have turned the corner?

Oh please let it be so.

Noise

I'm here.

There are things I could discuss, I guess, but I swear my life now revolves around the boys' school and my work.

I just don't want to talk about all of that.

Things are a bit better in some ways. They're not in a lot of ways. It's all become a slow, tedious process that may just drive me insane.

That translates to a constant, never-ending nagging of frustrations and worries that I am struggling to escape. At the same time, I can't bring myself to put the thoughts into actual words, even when I know that would likely calm the roar of my brain.

There's just too much noise. Sigh.

Friday Night Leftovers on Saturday

School, oh school.

I have such a love/hate relationship with it right now. Sigh.

Monday morning I sent an email to the principal discussing what her conversation implied to me. She responded immediately and apologized profusely. No, no, that wasn't what she meant, she actually loved the student she compared Sh.awn to, but after some reflection on the conversation, she agreed that it would be easy to misconstrue what she meant. Whatever. I needed her to understand that it wasn't okay with me, which she knows. I have record of what happened. She apologized. I have to put it all behind me or I will go crazy.

Last weekend was spent emailing the boys' teacher. That went better than I anticipated after her first email, and in the end, really helped Sh.awn in a few key ways. Score. He had a stellar day on Monday and an even better day on Tuesday. We were on a roll! I was so excited. It all came to a screeching halt on Wednesday when both he and Ja.son got sick complete with fevers and vomiting/diarrhea. Then Jack got sick. Fun times. Ja.son was out Wednesday and Thursday. Sh.awn missed the rest of the week. Now I fear we'll have to start back at the beginning.

~~~

Somehow I managed to forget to pay bills last month. Stressed much? Who me?

~~~

I had to complete U.S. Census Bureau questionnaire this evening. I don't know why our family always gets selected for these stupid things, but I am so over it. Lost a half an hour to clicking on buttons and telling the government more than I want them to know about my life. Gives me the willies.

~~~

The blahs are hanging around. Still struggling getting out of my head. I open my laptop to write and stare at a blank screen. It doesn't take long before I just give up. :(

~~~

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers.

Makes Me Sick to My Stomach

More school woes.

Our transition to kinder this year has been far from smooth, and frankly, this just takes the cake for completely inappropriate behavior. I am insanely angry about something that was said to my mom by the principal one day during pick-up this week.

Sh.awn is having a hard time in kinder. He's been acting out and overwhelmed with what is happening at school. To be fair to him, he's had 4 aides over the last 12 days* (two days of which he missed because he was sick). Adding that to the whole new situation of school, and it is no wonder he is struggling.

Anyway, during pick-up, the principal walked over to my mom and told her that she had a former student who looks just like Sh.awn. She wanted to show my mom the boy's picture. My mom was trying to get my boys in a fairly chaotic hallway and sort of mumbled a reply. The principal left and came back with a picture of a boy who was maybe 10 or 11 years old who had Down's Syndrome. The principal then went on and on about how much the two looked alike. My mom felt the only resemblance the two had was maybe their dark hair.

The only conclusion I can come up with as a reason she would show my mom such a picture is if the principal feels Sh.awn is mentally disabled. While we may find learning disabilities, he is by no means mentally disabled. I am majorly upset and highly insulted that this principal would say something like this.

I wrote her a letter because I think it is important that I let her know that this was by no means okay. Plus, I wanted documentation that the event occurred. It was hard, but I even think I succeeded in taking out most of the anger.

But still. Seriously? Why would anyone think something like that was okay to say or do?

Sigh. I just don't know what I am going to do about our school situation. It is bad and just doesn't seem to be getting better. The whole thing just makes me sick to my stomach.

*The school district had not hired an aide for Sh.awn until the first day of school. When school started, they had a temporary aide who was working with him and a few other kids at the same time for the first two or three days. The principal "helped" out with Sh.awn while that aide was with the other students. Then he was assigned a temporary full time aide. He was given a third aide who was ineffective. Now we have an aide who I assume will be here for the long haul. She's been with Shawn for three days. It has been a nightmare.

 

It's On

We got our first email from the teacher today.

On a Saturday afternoon. Yeah.

Saturday letters are not a good sign.

They're well thought out and filled with carefully chosen words asking about how he behaves at home and if we think school is too over stimulating for him.

My response was well thought out, too. It was also filled with carefully chosen words about my thoughts on the matter. I have plenty of thoughts, oh yes I do.

Sigh.

I've done my crying over it. (for the time being at least) Now I'm just plain angry.

As much as it pisses me off that I have to do this, I am rolling up my sleeves.

Bring it, school.

It's on.

Le Sigh

Friday night, I tested. My boobs were sore, and it struck me that the last time my boobs were sore, I was pregnant.

I got the faintest of faint lines. It got a little darker the rest of the weekend. Hope crept back in.

I didn't test yesterday...everyone is sick, so I didn't really have a chance. I had run out of tests anyway.

I don't know if you can see it here, but there
were definite lines. This one was from Saturday.

 

Today I started bleeding while I was in the middle of class. Oh, that was all kinds of fun.

 

Sigh.

 

~~~

 

For what it's worth, the meeting went fine at the boys' school today. We initiated testing for the boys. (Ja.son just OT/PT. Sh.awn is getting the whole shebang as far as testing goes. It feels awful to see all those boxes detailing the different areas to be tested checked, let me just say.) We'll have IEP's in place for both within 60 days.

 

It's been a day.