Fitting In

I had a student come talk to me a few days ago. She often stays after school to work on various assignments, plus she likes to talk to me about the drama that her sister creates in her life because I had her sister as a student a few years ago. Her sister had many issues when I had her and the trend is still the same now that she's a junior in high school.

This time I asked her if there was anyone her age at school that she felt she could talk to about all of this. This question was in no way trying to deflect the discussions off of me on to another person but was instead based in my hope that she had a true friend with whom she could relate. My heart broke a little when she said no that nobody really understood her because everyone else was just too normal.

Oh man, could I relate. I'm sure we all could relate at one point in our lives or another.

Too normal. Those words have stuck in my head.

I can see where she would be disinterested in surrounding herself with people who didn't, maybe couldn't even, understand the path she is currently walking. It's painful to watch others enjoy what you so desperately want. It's even more painful to be misunderstood.

I've been there, done that. I did it when I was in the throws of infertility. I did it when I delivered two very early and very sick babies. I am doing it now as we forge our path toward our not as typical normal.

We all need that place to belong, the place where people "get" us.

Being able to feel like I fit in somewhere takes the sting out of all the "normal" around us in our real life. It makes our lives seem less strange, less crazy and, well, less scary. I'm so grateful to the internet for the chance to find others who are taking similar journeys as we are.

I urged my student to keep looking for that someone with whom she could connect. That person is out there right now, looking for her.

~~~

One of my deepest, darkest fears is about my boys and whether or not they will be accepted by their peers and whether they will fit in. As much as I hope that others will see just how fucking AMAZING they are, there will be people who will hurt my beautiful, sweet boys because they are a little different. There will be people who go out of their way to point out those differences and make fun of them. I would give anything to shield them from that kind of pain, and yet I know it will come as a part of their growing up. It will be a part of what makes them who they grow to be. I only hope I can do my part to counter any of those negatives.

Sigh. My heart is already aching, and it hasn't even started.

Weekend Leftovers

Today we celebrated Sh.awn's Homecoming Day. We made the day all about him and his choices. He LOVED it. Ja.son, however, wasn't nearly as enthused. His feelings could be summed up by this one picture:

He struggled with why they both didn't have a Homecoming Day today, even though he knows that he gets to have his day only nine sleeps from now. He told me repeatedly throughout the day that he wanted exactly what Sh.awn got, which brought up several pretty interesting discussions.

This is exactly why I love the idea of Homecoming Day. Yes, we celebrate because the day is the anniversary of when each came home from the hospital, but it is also a day to focus on each boy individually. That kind of thing is hard to come by when you have twins.

~~~

Thank you to Mel for highlighting two of my posts on the Friday Roundup! I'm so humbled and appreciative!

~~~

My cat is not well. We've had her for ten years, and she was somewhere around four-ish when we got her...

I am really worried about what this will mean. I have to call Monday morning to get her in to the vet.

~~~

My grandmother went back to her pulmonologist on Friday and was given the all clear. Finally. She has a little bit of scarring, but other than that she is healthy.

Her doctor was pretty surprised to see how good she look and even told her so. He gave grandma the impression that he didn't think she'd be alive for much longer when he saw her last August.

She's one tough cookie, my grandma.

~~~

It's tax time. Whoot! I love doing our taxes!

That's not strange or anything, is it? :)

~~~


Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers.

Happy Homecoming Day, Sh.awn!

On this day five years ago, our little Sh.awn came home from the hospital! We were so excited to get the chance to finally be parents without the watchful eyes of the hospital personnel.

Picking him up without having to juggle wires was pure bliss. Sigh. I'm pretty sure all I did that first night was feed him at the expected three hour intervals and stare in wonder at him the rest of the night.

Happy Homecoming Day, Sh.awn!

It blows my mind to look at how tiny he was -- and he was
four times his birth weigh here!

Tomorrow, we get to celebrate! :-)

For those of you wanting to take a trip down memory lane, I wrote about his Homecoming here. (Try not to focus on the look of panic and disbelief we have on our faces in every single picture. I'm certain we both thought they were going to change their minds at any second and tell us he had to stay. lol)

That Twin Thing

Yesterday, the big boys were going to spend the night at grandma's. The plan was that I come home from work, stay to play with the boys for a while, and then take Jack home with me so the big boys could stay overnight at my mom's.

Jason was super excited at the prospect and has been asking to stay for weeks now. Shawn said he wanted to stay the night, too, but he quickly changed his mind once I got there. At that point, Shawn decided that he wanted to go home with me instead of having a slumber party at grandma's. No biggie.

I have to say that it was strange with just Sh.awn and Jack. It was quiet...er in some ways, yet much louder in others. Still, two munchkins to chase around the house is exponentially easier to manage than three. Go figure.

The thing that was striking to me, however, was how Sh.awn spent his evening. The boy was on fire! He was talkative and happy and active in a way that I don't often see. I'm not kidding when I say the was non stop the entire evening. It was very un-Sh.awn like in a very nice way.

Usually Ja.son is the attention seeker. He's louder, faster, and more demanding than Sh.awn. Sh.awn often sits back and lets Jay make decisions about what they'll do, or Sh.awn will just sit and play quietly in the corner while Ja.son does whatever he wants. Sh.awn seems content in that role and will often deflect the decision making to his brother. I do my best to make sure that Sh.awn gets his chance to make choices about  play, but it is difficult to referee in their relationship all the time (and I don't think that would be a good thing even if I could).

Without the twin dynamic, Sh.awn was like a different kid. (Now, I'm not sure if he would always be this animated if he was a singleton.It really could have been a fluke due to the novelty of the experience, because I know that his personality is definitely more laid back and hesitant than what I saw last night.)

It makes me question how different life would have been for him had he been a singleton. There is no doubt that he would have received twice as much attention than he did thus far. How much more advanced would he be had he had our undivided attention during his early days? I can't know the answer to that, of course, but the way he blossomed leaves me wondering.

Then again, I do think Sh.awn (they) gained a lot from having that other person always there. They learned from each other. They motivated each other. They competed with each other. Those benefits definitely can't be discounted.

This experience has cemented my resolve to give the boys, and in particular Sh.awn,  more opportunities to develop their own unique identities. As much as they need to be together because they do have that twin bond, they also need (deserve) the chance to experience life without the influence of the other because of that twin bond.


I'd love to hear from you. How do you do it, multiples moms? How do you make sure each kid gets his or her own chance to be independent while fostering that bond? If you're not a mom of multiples, and you have some ideas, I'd love to hear from you, too.

I Have a Lot to Learn

Every week at therapy, we park in the exact same spot, right next to a disabled parking space. Ja.son, who is a sign reading maniac, tells me what on that sign once we park and again as we leave every single time we're there.

"Handicap parking, mom. We need to save that space for someone in a wheelchair," he said for what seemed like the millionth time.

To say he may be obsessed with these signs is an understatement. He looks for other handicap parking signs while we are out around town, never failing to point at least one out in every parking lot we enter. He's even started incorporating these parking spaces into his endless hours of Hot Wheels play.

"Yes, we do, Jay." I told him like I always did as I pulled into our regular spot.

Usually, that is where the conversation would end. This afternoon, though, our talk took a slightly different turn.

"Mom, when I get home I'm putting my handicap parking spaces at the end of the parking lot so my Honda Pilot can park right up front."

"Well, Jay, disabled parking spaces are usually the spots closest to the doors of the building."

"Why?"

"If someone has a hard time walking, the spaces let the person park closer to the door of the building. That way, the person doesn't have to walk as far to go inside the business."

"Well, why don't we park there then? I can't walk."

Oh. My. God. My heart dropped and shattered at my feet. The water bottle that was headed toward my mouth at that moment literally stopped midair, my mouth agape. My head began to pound as I struggled for something to say.

My first instinct was to change the subject--I so did not want to have that conversation yet. He remembers everything I've ever said...if I misstepped, how would I ever be able to make my words right? I knew that what I said in that very critical moment would become part of the foundation for how he feels about his own abilities, and the weight of that responsibility was heavy on my heart.

How could I let him know it was alright for him to need a disabled parking space when I was still not sure I was alright with the idea of him (both of them) needing it?

The seconds ticked. After what seemed like ages, he said, "Is it because I can walk with my walker?"

"Babe, mommy and daddy carry you if you or Sh.awn get tired. Plus, you two are getting stronger every day and are getting so good at using your walkers. To be honest, I didn't think we needed to park in a disabled parking space. What do you think about it?"

He thought for a bit and mulled it all over. "I don't think we need to park in one right now, but it would be neat to be able to park close to Disneyland." With that, he was done talking and ready to go in to therapy.

~~~

For him it was over, but I can't get what he said out of my head. I've replayed it over and over again trying to decide what I could have/should have done differently. I keep coming back to the same idea: I don't know whether what I said was the "right" thing or not, but I do know I am so proud of my boy. To him, things just are what they are. So he needs a walker. Who cares? So what if he needs to use a disabled parking space? It's no big deal to him. 

Why do I let it be?

If he can be comfortable with his body and his walker and using disabled parking, why do I find myself still struggling?

I have a lot to learn.
 

But if I think about it, when it comes to this amazingly insightful boy I have, I must be doing something right.

Friday Night Leftovers

 



 

Good news! After an afternoon full of questions from me (during which I politely pointed out that their policy of making us wait until Local School was scheduled to enrolled put us at a disadvantage and could be seen punitive because of where we lived--i.e. the better/more expensive areas enroll first) and another visit from my secret weapon husband, we got the district office to allow us to turn in our transfer papers before we actually enrolled. This way we'll stay at the top of the list at Desired School for openings, which is what we wanted, while still enrolling on the date they've assigned to Local School like they wanted. It is a fair compromise.

 

While I was at the district office on Wednesday, I overheard them talking about not getting a shipment of tissues and other supplies. I text that information to Is.aac as part of my update to him but didn't think anything more about it. He left work, stopped at the store for tissues and hot chocolate, drove thirty minutes to their office, and dropped both off at the district office as a "Thank you for all of your hard work and help." Right after, they told him they'd take the transfer papers to hold our place.

 

Coincidence?

 

I think not. My husband's got mad money maker shaking skills, yo. ;)

 

I don't really care why they let us, only that they did. That's a HUGE weight off my chest.

 

Now all I can do is wait as I can't officially enroll them until the 4th.

 

~~~

 

I started a random act of kindness project with the program I coordinate at school. The kids are jazzed, which makes me even more excited about the whole thing. Yea!

 

~~~

 

No work on Monday. Boo-yeah!

 

~~~

 

It was finally warm enough today to take off my jacket while I was at work! Such a nice improvement from the scarf, heavy coat, and gloves I've been sporting (inside my class!) for the last two weeks. Finally the weather is acting the way it should.

 

~~~

 

I have renewed my love affair with chocolate this week. It isn't helping that they are selling candy bars at work. I think I need an intervention!

 

~~~

 

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers.

Just Another Day, But Not

Yesterday was their due date. It's a day that should really hold little meaning five  years after the fact with the focus now on the day they were born.

And it is, of course.

But to me, their due date is significant. It's not a day we celebrate--the boys don't even know about its existence.

Their due date is when I allow myself to unwrap the tiny box filled with what if's held tight against my heart. Really, it's impossible to think of one without the other.

I think of how different things would be had I not had them so early.

I wonder.

I fantasize.

I dream.

I grieve, although this year I didn't cry. Maybe by now, I've cried my tears dry.

Then I neatly fold the thoughts back into their case for safekeeping.

~~~

I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be able to let go of the effects of that time. I wonder if I really want to let it go. As much as I hate what prematurity has meant for our family, it is part of what made us who we are.

Without all that they endured, they wouldn't be them. We wouldn't be us.

I wouldn't be me.

~~~

I didn't say anything yesterday. I didn't want to point it out in case he didn't remember.

I remembered and thought that was enough.

He brought it up while we were in bed last night. He talked about his love for them, his love for me.

It's comforting to know that he still thinks of that time. Makes me feel less broken to hear he struggles with it too from time to time.

Registration Round 1

District - 1
Us - 0

"You're cute. Use some of those looks to go sweet talk the district people and help our cause." These were my parting words for my husband this morning as I headed out the door. I was kidding. Mostly.

Due to some issues with my schedule today, read a meeting I couldn't get out of, Is.aac was in charge of round 1 with the district. He sent a text to me with the following update:

"I went down to (Desired School) to bat my eyes and shake my money maker, but the first person I talked to was a guy. Undeterred, I waited around and spoke to the Office Manager. I explained the boys' situation and she recommended adding a few key things in our letter/note to transfer request.

From there, I pulled up my knickers and went to the therapy unit to ask about letters with the key words the Office Manager suggested we use from therapists." (There is also a medical letter we need to include, but the thought that adding the letters from people Desired School already knows will be a good thing for us.)

From there, he went to the district office to be told they still are not taking registration from our area yet. He schmoozed it up with the clerks there before he left.

'Atta boy. He took one for the team. lol.

I am not deterred. I'm feeling a bit more confident that with these additions, Desired School might still be a viable option for us if it takes until our Local School's registration date to complete the paperwork.

I'm up next on Wednesday. Wish me luck.

Anyone but me wonder why everything has to be so difficult when it comes to the boys? Good grief. We're not talking about enrollment in an Ivy League school here. This is freaking Kindergarten! Grr.

Random Thoughts

Is.aac is off at his friend's house for the evening. The kids are all in bed, which means I'm here in a quiet house. I love the quiet. It gives me a chance to write and reflect

~~~

There are a lot of times when I feel myself being ruled by fear and shyness. To counter that, I try very hard to do the things I'd really like to avoid, not because I am trying to be strong but rather because I know that it would be easy for me to just wall myself up in a cocoon and not do anything at all. Some days take more fighting than others.

Today took a lot of fight.

~~~

Lately I've been wondering where I fit in. That's probably because I have no idea where I fit anymore. I don't know how to describe the feeling other than to say that it just feels like no one truly gets me. Can we all say midlife crisis?

~~~

I found some shoes today that share my name. It's almost like purchasing these shoes is a must. I mean, we have the same name! Plus they are on sale. It would be worth it just to be able to tell people they were made just for me. I could make up a story about how the designer must have met me somewhere and was so inspired by me to make a shoe for me. It could even be true. How would I know? lol

Sadly, they don't have my size. Oh well.

~~~
Random thoughts for a quiet night.

Friday Night Leftovers

 

So, they wouldn't let me register. All of that buildup for them to turn me away. Grr.

Apparently they have devised a schedule for kinder registration that is based on the students' home school, which means I have to wait a few more days. That doesn't mean that I won't show up on Monday after work with my paperwork, ready to go. If they turn me away then, I'm going back on the day Desired School is supposed to register.

Maybe they'll just let me register to get rid of me? I won't be obnoxious about it or anything (well, outside of showing up), but there's a reason they say the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

I shall be squeaky. Ahem.

~~~

Sh.awn woke up yesterday with either an asthma or panic attack. He then proceeded to throw up four or five times before he put his head down and slept like the dead. His breathing leveled out after he threw up, but it scared us to death.

We debated whether to take him to the doctor, but we knew that would mean a trip to the hospital and I just didn't want to go there. I'm glad we waited it out. (He was never in any serious condition after his breathing regulated and he stopped vomiting.)

At around dinner time, he perked up enough to play his LeapPad and eat a waffle. He was fine today.

I have no idea what was up with that. (I worry about a shunt occlusion...)

~~~

I was looking through some old photos of myself for a school project. I found one that reminded me of Jack, which is crazy because I have never really thought that he looked anything like me.

Jack on the left, me on the right (age 2)

 

 

What do you think? Is.aac made them both black and white and put them close together for comparison purposes. It boggles my mind. I even had curly hair like him!

 

 

~~~

 

 

I got bit by something at school today. I have an ugly, swollen bite mark just under where my bra strap hits. I can hardly lean back it hurts so much.

 

 

The idea that something bit me while I was at work has me all wigged out. Like seriously. I may even have to get rid of my desk chair. I can't get the picture of some radioactive spider living in my chair waiting for me to come back to work so he can have seconds out of my brain!

 

~~~

 

So, so tired. I just wish I could sleep for a week.

 

~~~

 

We have another date this weekend. I think I could get used to this!

 

~~~

 

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers.

 



Two Moms

These boys of mine...

Today they noticed that another boy at therapy only comes to "school" with his dad. On the way to the car, they asked where this boy's mom was.

I told them that I didn't know, but that there are lots of different kinds of families. Some kids live with their mommy and daddy. Some kids live with just their mommy, while other kids live with just their daddy. Some kids live with their grandmas. Some kids live with two mommies or two daddies even.

From the back seat I heard, "Two mommies? I like that. Two is always better than one!"

I had to crack up at that one. Of course they went on to decide that there maybe should be a daddy and that they might want to replace me as one of the moms, but it was still funny.

Cue Freak Out

I used to think that crying about your babies heading off to kindergarten was kind of crazy. I mean, come on. Kids go to school. It isn't like you don't know it's coming. School is a great thing in a child's life. They learn. They have fun. They make lots of friends. There's no reason to get all worked up over it.

Last week, quite by accident I might add, I discovered that kindergarten registration starts on January 10th. Two days from now. I have been in a mild panic about it ever since.

Oh how I am eating my words. Sigh.

To be fair to myself, my kids do come with a bit more...um, baggage?...issues?...uniqueness than many other kids. I'm okay with that, but it does present a few problems that need to be addressed. There will need to be adaptive services for instance. I'm guessing that there may even be the need for an aide to help one get to the restroom, etc. We'll need "stuff" at a time when schools don't like to give "stuff."

We've already dealt with Local School and were not impressed with how they approached the educational needs of the boys, so I'd like to avoid that school if at all possible. It's a shame, too, because they are literally around the corner from us. Bummer.

I'd prefer wherever they go to be near their therapy unit so they can begin to receive some therapy during the school day rather than after school. That would mean an intradistrict transfer to Desired School. That in itself is no big deal because our district is required to allow transfers when space permits. The problem is that Desired School happens to be the gifted magnet school* in the district and spaces are given on a first come first served basis.

Ack. No pressure right?

Thinking about all of this makes my heart race and I break out in a sweat. My bay-bees going to big boy school...

How can this be?

Fingers crossed I can do this.

And I'm back to freaking out.

*While I know that I am biased as they are my kids, I am fairly certain at least one would qualify into the gifted program anyway. It would be an awesome fit for the boys on many levels.

Theme for 2012 - Perspective

My theme for this year is perspective. Basically, my focus will be on taking more time to evaluate all the angles of a topic in an effort to make things more positive in my life. I have a tendency to get stuck on the negative, so this is something I'd really like to improve. A small change in the way I think about something can make a huge difference in the experience.

For my first attempt, I'm going to take a different perspective on the traditional new year resolutions. I hate the idea of looking at my life to find all that I do wrong so I can make it "right." If the purpose of these resolutions is to get us to reflect on our lives, then I'd rather highlight the things I want to continue.*

Things I want to continue this year: (in no particular order)

I've been trying hard to be kind to myself, which is something I've with which I have always struggled. I don't know why, but it was so much easier (and sadly more believable) to belittle myself with what I could have/should have done. I gotten better catching when I'd have those negative thoughts and countering them with something positive. It has been so good for me, so this is one thing I definitely want to continue.

I want to continue to spend quality time with my family. I love finding new, interesting things to do with them. Last year we had so much fun together. I hope this year can be equally fun.

I want to continue with daily writing on the boys' blog. I think right now, I've blogged daily for a year and a half--quite an accomplishment for me! At some point, I'm also going to convert the blog posts into books for them.

I want to continue writing here on this blog. I usually reserve this blog for what I consider my more raw feelings, and I treasure that I don't feel like I have to hide what I feel here. While I don't get here as often as I'd like, I do enjoy this space.

I want to continue to carve out time for myself in the day. I may not be able to do all of the "me" things I would like to do (does anyone?), but I have managed to do a little something for "me" each day.

I want to continue to push myself to do the things I don't really want to do. I am quite skilled at avoidance, which is something I don't especially like about myself. Over the last few months I've done a few things that were pretty big because I pushed myself to do them. They were hard, but they were good for me. I need more of that.

I want to continue to find ways to do something good for those outside of my circle. Hopefully, by watching me do good for others, my boys will learn to do the same.

I want to continue to give myself permission to not sweat the small stuff. It was easier to do than I thought it would be. :-)

I want to continue to do my shopping online. Oh how I love online shopping!

I want to continue to read blogs. I enjoy reading and blogging. Reading your blogs is a perfect combination!

So there it is, my first attempt at changing my perspective and looking at things in a new way. I'm going to add to my list as I think of things. I have to say that it feels so much better to focus on the positive in my life rather than all the ways I need to improve. :-)

Want to join me in changing the way we view new year resolutions? I'd love to hear what you want to continue next year.

~~~

P.S. It's national comment delurking week. I'd love to hear from you all!

~~~

*I've been working on this post in my head for a few days (since before I "officially" committed to my theme word Saturday on Prompt-ly), but I've discovered that Tesseract did something very similar on her post yesterday. :-) Great minds and all of that, right? lol. She got her idea from Monday Listicles from The Good Life.

Weekend Leftovers

 

For now, I am still loving my new hair color. The boys are no longer telling me that my hair is dirty, so I think they're getting used to it, too. lol.

 

 

From blond to brown. :)

Here I am with a new look for a new year. That's bound to make things more exciting, right?

~~~

Last night, Is.aac and I got to go on a date. It has been far too long since we last made it out of the house alone. We went to dinner. Talked. Had fun. It was so nice.

~~~

Tonight, after asking what people do on dates, the boys decided they needed a date night, too. We made it happen in our living room. It was too cute.

~~~

Vacation is over in two sleeps. I go back on the 7th. The kids start back the 8th. I still have not graded those papers I brought home. I'm fairly certain that Monday night is going to be ugly.

Why do I always do this to myself?

~~~

The littlest boy has been a BEAR this week, throwing tantrums, and being horrible at nap time. I decided I'd try a bit of Advil to see if that helped. It was like magic.

After further investigation, I discovered little dude's two bottom molars were in...which is yet another example of my amazing parenting skills. So sad that I didn't even realize that was what was happening.

This also means we.still.have.two.more.molars.to.go.

~~~

Is anyone else having issues with commenting on blogs? I've tried to comment on several posts without any luck. Someone else told me she had trouble commenting here.

I went to investigate and from what I've found, if your blog's comment box is embedded, people are having trouble commenting, but if you have a pop-up box, they could.

I don't know. I changed my setting here, just in case.

~~~

For more Leftovers, check out Danifred's blog.

2012 Revisited

The 2012 Creme de la Creme has been posted. If you haven't yet experienced this list, please set aside some time to go read the posts submitted. You will be blown away. I promise.

And now a bit more reflection before I put last year behind me. I did this meme last year, too, so I guess might as well make it a tradition. The rules are to post the first sentence or two of the first blog post for every month of 2012. I've added my comments after that. Here we go...

January - Wait a Minute! (1/2/12) "I think someone stole my winter break." (Cross post with the boys' blog.) Wow, this seems to be a common theme for me. Today, one year later, I am still scratching my head wondering where my break went. This year, however, I still have another week to enjoy playing with my boys.

This year we did much of the same things we did last year, which is fun. One thing I loved about this post is the line "We played outside and ran in fear from the ferocious squirrels in the backyard." While we haven't yet played outside this week as it's too cold, we wouldn't run from the squirrels anymore.

These breaks remind me that I really would like to be a SAHM. I really, really would. Sigh.

February - Ja.son's Day, 2012 (2/3/12) "Today was another special day for our family. ‎4 years ago, after 100 long days in the NICU, our Ja.son finally came home from the hospital." Those NICU days seem so far away yet just yesterday, all at the same time. I do know that I can now celebrate these homecoming days as they're intended...with the focus on how amazing each of these boys are instead of the sadness or guilt.

March - Friday Night Leftovers (3/2/12) "Been another one of those tough weeks at work. The kind of week in which this thought, "Why am I teaching?" was frequent. The kind of week that reminds me that I work in the freaking 'hood." Hm. Not really sure what had happened that got me so upset, but it must have been stressful. I do have to say that my job has some stressful moments doozies.

April - Each Day Has a New Starting Point (4/2/12) "A girlfriend of mine is trying to lose weight. She is doing an incredible job with her self control. (She's a foodie, so this has been quite hard for her.) Yesterday we went out to lunch, where I ate approximately 10,000 calories--complete with a free Oreo cookie ice creme sandwich--yet she ate a sensible meal and seemed just as satisfied as I was. I told her she looked fabulous. What was her secret?" In this post I reflected on my friend's use of the idea to treat each day as a new starting point and how I might apply it to my own life. I really tried to keep this idea in mind this last year. If I didn't like how my day went, I evaluated what I wasn't happy with and tried to do better the next day. Doing this really seemed ot help me stop beating myself up over every little thing. I'll call it a win for me. :)

May - I Swear It's a Conspiracy (5/2/12) "Be warned. This is another curse filled vent. Today I got a notice in the mail saying that C..C..S has now denied the boys services (read therapy!) because "I" failed to complete their requested documents." Oh the therapy woes we had last year. Getting sucked into the system is frustrating on many levels, but it is especially so when it seems like you are hitting block walls at every turn. The good news is that I "think" the therapy issues are working themselves out. We now have therapists I think are really working the boys. Sh.awn has stopped his screaming and crying the second we walk into the door (praise Jesus). Plus, it looks like we'll be adding some aquatic therapy into the mix. All in all, things are looking good on this front now!

June - Friday Night Leftovers (6/1/12) "At work, things have officially moved to a ten on the crazy scale. We have ten days of school left." I remember that week as being emotional. So much was happening at the same time. (I had to laugh because the next day I had another therapy vent post. lol. Told you it was a rough year with therapy stuff.)

July - Mostly Wordless Wednesday (7/4/12) "One of my favorite pictures so far..." My little Jack is such a silly boy. Oh how I love him.

August - Mostly Wordless Wednesday (8/1/12) "We had a fabulous time at Disney!" We really did have a good time. The big boys loved, loved, LOVED Disneyland. Seriously. They talked about going back every day for months. Now the talk has quieted to saying, "We've been to Cinderella's castle!" when they see it on the Disney channel. We can't wait to go back again and take Jack!

September - My Children Are Out to Get Me. Again. Still? (9/5/12) "We are an accident prone bunch. With all of these boys around here, it almost can't be helped. Someone is ALWAYS getting hurt, tripping over something/someone, walking into a wall, getting a bruise...you name it, someone is doing it." Accidents are still the norm around this place. This time was when Sh.awn hit me in the eye with his chin and gave me a black eye. Fun times. lol

October - A Quick This and That (10/1/12) "So, as of yesterday, I was a week late. Today, I am not." It still stings, this not being able to add to my family without a room full of doctors. If only wishes could come true. Sigh.

November - Happy Halloween: A Day Late (11/1/12) "A day late, but the wish is still sincere. I hope you all had a fun filled Halloween." We had so much fun that Halloween! Plus, the boys looked super cute. :)
December - Senseless (12/15/12) "Like so many around the world, I'm sick over the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School. There is simply no reason on Earth for someone to do what that young man chose to do to that school." Yeah. There isn't much more to say than that.