Another Update on Dawn **Updated Again!

10/30/10

Just an update to say things are a bit brighter with Miss M this morning.

Dawn woke up bright and early for a quick walk and a session with lactation. She was able to pump a little milk and head down to the NICU for her 2nd trip ever to see her little girl. Happily, Miss M's breathing is greatly improved.

Dawn is still very nervous, and worried, but she knows Miss M is getting the best care Dawn can get for her. For now, they are taking things day by day.

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Update from 10/31/10

Just a quick update from today (sorry I didn't get a chance to post earlier):

Dawn called this afternoon to say that Miss M was in the nursery and was ready to room in her room with her. That's right, Miss M broke free from the NICU!!! If all continues to go well, Miss M will be discharged with Dawn. Such great news! I am so excited for their entire family! :-)

You can visit Dawn's blog here.

She's Here!

I am happy to announce the birth of Dawn's daughter, Miss M, today around the 8:00 hour! She is 5 pounds 12 ounces and 18.5 inches long.

Miss M came a bit early, so she's in the NICU on CPAP for some breathing support. She seems to be doing well! She has a great sucking reflex and grip. :-)

Dawn is also doing well and feeling a much better after a somewhat hellish c-section experience. She is in good spirits and focused on her little girl.

Please stop by her blog and offer your congratulations!

Excited for a Friend and Fellow Blogger!

I am so excited! Tomorrow Dawn will get to meet her little girl! She'll be a little early due to low amniotic fluid, but everything seems to be okay with both her and the baby. (I talked to her on the phone and she is doing well!)

If you get a chance, stop by and wish Dawn congratulations!

Just as a little background, Dawn and I (along with Mrs. Spock) were pregnant together the first time around. We all had boys. Now all of us are pregnant again, but both of them with girls this time.

Wonder if I'll follow suit and have a girl too?

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Ja.son!

Posts about what the boys are doing now are over on their blog. :-)

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Sh.awn!

Posts about what the boys are doing now are over on their blog. :-)

So. What does one get when her children and husband all have the plague and the go around licking her (the children), coughing their germs everywhere (all of 'em), and snoring at her all. night. long?

Yep, you guessed it. I am a lucky lady and have now joined the germ fest--with a nice little low grade fever for added giggles.

Fortunately, it is all in my head at this point (literally, not figuratively), but if my progression follows the same path of the others I'll be coughing up crap soon enough. Boo.

Especially because my husband has been doping himself up with Ny.quil every night in order to sleep, and well...as we all know, Ny.quil is not an option for me at the moment.

Sigh.

I still haven't quite figured out why the world must end the moment he feels an inkling that he might possibly be sick someday in the near future. I mean dude. You don't even have congestion and you are already in your sick bed? Come on already.

Let's not forget that while the world ends for him during his Ny.quil induced coma, it doesn't so much for the lone female in the family. Again. I need to say that not only does it not end, but it gets to go on without drugs! For relief!

Frankly that translates to total suckage if you ask me. (Not that I am complaining or anything...

...much. Ahem.)

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Anyway, the OB appointment went well. I have had "nice growth" since he last saw me. I guess that is good? He said it with a kind of surprised voice, so who knows. The nurse had had me undress from the waist down because he would likely want to check the cerclage. I didn't exactly like that idea and was going to tell him. He actually came in and said he didn't want to "muck around in there" if he didn't have to, so we passed on it. I'll have it checked on the 5th at my ultrasound with Dr. Doom.

Heart beat was 150. Baby was kicking the Doppler while the OB was trying to get the reading. It was kind of funny really.

tmi alert: I did tell him that I have a bit of a new discharge since the cerclage. I did last time, too, so I wasn't surprised. (my body is trying to rid itself of the foreign element, the stitch, and is creating a lot my cm to do the job) Anyway, I got the confirmation that it was normal. I don't have an infection. He gave me a prescription for a creme to use, but I don't necessarily need to. I think for right now I'll hold off of it.

I go back in 4 weeks to my OB.

Peri appointment on 11/5.

Love and Hate*

Love: Jenny from Pink Armchair Designs saved the day and fixed my header. I am so happy! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Hate: As someone pointed out, I'm going to need to change my header should I be so lucky to have a baby in the not too distant future. I guess I need to start wrapping my mind around that idea.

Love: The boys will no longer participate in Early Intervention when they turn three. In fact, their physical therapist's last day with them is tomorrow. Their occupational therapist will see them for the last time on the 27th. It is going to be lovely to not have to schedule our lives around these long standing appointments. Plus there is not the need to clean my house all the freaking time because someone is coming over the next day. :-)

Hate: I will miss the therapists! Their PT has been with the boys since they were 6 months old. Their OT has been with us since they were a year old. I have come to value the input of these women in my boys' lives. While I do know we do a lot of work with the boys, the therapists have given me countless ideas and suggestions on how we can better work with the boys to get maximum effects. And let's face it. What they suggested had to have had a big impact. (I am not that brilliant!)

Hate even more: Now that we no longer qualify for EI, we are now headed into the world of CCS (California Children's Services). Ugh. I know in my head that this might be a good thing for the boys--new eyes looking at how to better help the boys can only be good, right? But...there is something about getting involved with a more...I don't know. This place scares me, I guess. Sigh.

Love: The weather we've had in good ole southern CA has been pretty wild lately. We had an outright thunder and lightening storm yesterday. It was amazing. I used to love going to my grandparents' house in Arizona because it never failed that we'd see an amazing electrical storm or two while we were there. The brief storm we had yesterday was just like what I remember from Arizona.

Hate: Every time it rains, we get ants. Every. Time. We've had them spray. We've had them try to seal around the door and along the house. And still, we get ants. I spent the afternoon today killing stray ants around the entryway and living room. Yuck.

Love: My boys are finally getting over their second cold of the school year. (No matter how hard I try, I still manage to infect them with the random junk that is around school.)

Hate: The husband has just come down with said germs and snores all night long.

Love: Still having strange cravings for all kinds of food. Mmmm... This is such a refreshing change from the whole having to force myself to eat stage in the first trimester.

Hate: Hm. Not much I hate in this category. Yeah!

Love: I have an OB appointment tomorrow, and I will hopefully get a chance to feel that all is going well with the baby.

Hate: It had to be rescheduled from Tuesday because the OB had an emergency surgery. My head just goes to dark places and worries about some poor woman I don't even know. I so hope she and her baby are healthy and not in the NICU.

What are you loving and hating today?

*I borrowed this idea from K at Two Adults, One Brown Baby. She has a son and a preemie daughter, beautiful Iris, and is all around pretty neat. :-)

ACK!

Lost my header! I am beyond sad. I sent an email to the blog designer. I so hope she still has the file.

Seriously. I think I am about to cry!

updated--Found an early version of my header. It isn't the final version, though. :-( Plus, I can't get the size right, so it is huge.

I think the poor blog designer is going to think I have lost my mind with the emails I sent her.

Um, I am claiming I was influenced by hormones and fatigue, and therefore not in my right mind. That also explains the tears, too. Right?

This and That

I apologize in advance for not proof reading this. Just gloss over any errors you might find. Bed is calling and it is late.

• I've been having trouble sleeping at night. I've had lots of dreams, many of which I would consider bad. A few of the more disturbing dreams have involved my dad and miscarrying (thankfully both things are never together in a dream). Fun times. Last night, for instance, I had the most vivid dream that I woke up bleeding heavily. I can remember sobbing hysterically and making myself sick with the sadness of losing another pregnancy. Is.aac finally woke me up around 3:30 am to ask me if I was okay. I had been making strange noises for about a half an hour at that point. I was awake for hours afterward, willing myself to go back to sleep but desperately afraid that if I did, I'd fall back into that horrible dream. This morning, I nearly lost my shit when I wiped and saw light pink. It took me a moment to realize that the pink was just my finger showing through the wet toilet paper. Ahem. It shook me up anyway.
• Julie asked if I was doing any prenatal screening. Yes, I am. I am doing the "Integrated Prenatal Screenings." Basically, they take the NT measurement and blood work during the first and second trimesters to calculate risks. My clinic doesn't give results from the screening until you have the results on the second trimester blood work. My risk assessment starts out at about a 1:200 simply because I am 38 years old. I figure if our screening results give me around that number or better then I will be satisfied. (although "better" would certainly be...um, better) The second tri blood draw will be November 5. I should know the results 7-10 days later.
• The boys turn 3 in less than 10 days. Holy cow. I finally broke down and bought some birthday gifts for them today. I haven't planned anything as far as a party goes. It will probably be a quiet family event the Saturday following their birthday.
• I also ordered their Halloween costumes. I picked out that super hero costumes. They are, after all, pretty damn super if I do say so myself. :-)
• I got flowers at work the other day. They were from the family of a former student who is now a senior in high school. Along with the flowers was a little note from the student that said he still thinks of me and considers me his best teacher ever. My heart turned to mush. Sure made me feel a bit guilty for having to punish my third period with a class wide detention earlier in the day...
• Perhaps I might be a bit moody?
• The best food ev-ah this week was some lumpia and pancit that Is.aac picked up from this little hole in the wall place down the street. OMG. I have been craving that stuff ever since.
• I watched Guiliana and Bill the other day. It was the IVF episode. They were flying so high and so positive things were going to work out for them that I was afraid FOR them. I didn't want to see them crash if things didn't work out the way they hoped. At the end of the episode they get the news that she is pregnant. It just about broke my heart for them when I later read on a gossip site that she had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. To think the whole emotional roller coaster is going to be played out for all to see on television makes me a bit sick. I don't think I am going to be able to watch again.
• Baby No.ah, from next door, had a permanent catheter placed a little over a week ago. Things were going so well for him, there was the start of the discharge discussions happening. On Thursday, he developed a severe abdominal fungal infection, so they had to remove the catheter. He's now on antibiotics for 14-21 days! and has to have hemo.dialysis until the infection is completely cleared. The bad thing is that the NICU he is in (in a top children's hospital) has never had to do hemo.dialysis before--those patients are older and in the PICU. The hope is that they can figure it all out so he can stay in the NICU rather than being transferred to the PICU. My neighbor said they've had just about ever doctor and nurse come by their isolation room to see what is going on. (As those of us who have spent time in a hospital know, it is NEVER good to be the ward novelty.) The good news is that he's had several hemo.dialysis sessions since they removed his catheter, and all is looking as good as can be expected so far.

A Day In Our Life

Yesterday, I got to my mom's to pick up the boys only to find Sh.awn wearing glasses with only one lens. My mom said she looked everywhere but couldn't figure out where the lens could be. Fortunately, I had ordered new lenses for Sh.awn last week and the new set was finally available for pick up.

Great!

I told my mom to stop looking for the missing lens, I'd just take the boys to the store and pick up the replacement lenses.

Now, I was concerned when I actually placed the order. I did so over the phone (as I had done several times before this year), but I was a bit nervous because I actually spoke to the male clerk at the store. This is the same guy who, the last time we were there for lenses, put in Sh.awn's nose guard backwards. To me that is pretty much glasses care 101 and shouldn't have happened but whatever.

Anyway I was worried at first, but I tried to tell myself that there was no way the guy could screw this up. We had only bought one type of glasses at this place (both boys have the exact same frames). Plus, they both have the exact same prescription. It should have been no problem.

We get to the store to pick up the lenses. We chit chatted with the salesperson there while she took the old lens out of the frame. We commented about how it was really lucky that I had called in the order last week. In the process of taking out the old lens, she did the usual asking if we have dogs (no just a child who chews on his glasses when his mom ticks him off).

She went into the back to get the new lenses. I knew something was wrong the moment she pulled them out of the package. They were clearly the wrong lenses.

Shit.

Not only had the idiot I spoke to ordered the wrong lenses, he didn't even manage to order lenses that had even a remotely similar skew number. There was absolutely no reason why he ordered the lenses he ordered.

The salesclerk offered to allow me to take the lenses in whatever frames they fit as loaners until the lenses we need came in. We couldn't even do that because the lenses were large and fit a woman's frames. There is no way the frames would stay on Sh.awn's face. She said she'd put a rush on the new order (which won't even be placed until Monday morning) but that didn't do a whole lot for us when he only had one lens to look through.

Grrrr.

Back to my mom's we went. We tore her house apart looking for the stupid lens. We finally found it in the strangest of places.

My little guy had apparently hid the lens once it fell out of his glasses. It was in the back corner one of her kitchen cupboards UNDER the contact paper shelf liner! It was pure luck that we found it. (I am still in awe.)

So, the bad news is that he still has scratched lenses.

But,

The good news is that the boy can see again now that he has two scratched lenses.

Oh, and I guess someone competent will be reordering the lenses is good news, too. Annoying. But good news.

The sad thing is that this kind of escapade is fairly normal around these parts. Sigh.

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In baby news, I've felt the baby move several times over the last few days!

Well, I just came out to the family. It's scary!

Feel free to check out the other blog if you're wondering how.

17 Days

Three years ago today, Jason's water broke. We headed to the hospital, where I had a course of steroids to hopefully mature the babies' lungs when they come early. I was exactly 26 weeks pregnant.

In 17 days, my boys will turn three. The countdown to the boys' birth is on.

I keep telling myself that these "anniversaries" will someday lose their power. I suppose to some extent, they have, but the sadness is still there.

The guilt rears it's ugly head.

The what ifs come to the forefront.

I know that I tried to do all that I could to keep the boys inside for as long as I could...

still...

Sometimes, I wish I could go back to that time and do something different. What, exactly, I am not sure.

I wish it anyway.

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Please, if you haven't yet, stop by Louise's blog and leave your condolences for her family. I'd love for them to be blown away by the support our community has for one of its own. Louise deserves it.

My Heart Is Heavy

In February, I wrote of a fellow blogger, Louise from Evil Stepmother, who was recently diagnosed with cancer. I had hoped with everything I had that she would be able to beat the wicked diseases and watch her much wanted 6 month old daughter reach adulthood.

Sadly, today her husband posted that Louise lost her battle with cancer in August, a mere 6 months after diagnosis. I am so saddened about this news.

If you knew Louise, please stop by and offer your condolences to her family. Her husband will print out our comments as a remembrance for their 13 month old daughter.

Updating Through the Anesthesia Haze...

It's official. I am stitched and closed up tight. They did do general anesthesia, which was a relief to me. I wasn't' looking forward to the long stretch of lying flat and the headaches.

I was quite the star at the surgery center. They remembered me...and my hives. Luckily, there were no hives today. :)

The only blip in the experience was when they had trouble finding the heart beat after surgery. They tried three different times (and man it was hard to not let my panic overtake me by that point) before they finally called my OB in to look for it. He tried and couldn't find it either. (cue freak out) He asked if I had to pee and sent me off to the bathroom.

Thankfully, they found it right away after my bladder was emptied. Whew.

There is no discomfort really. I am still spotting every time I use the restroom. That should end within the next 24 hours. I have no cramping to speak of, but I do know that people have visited my nether region. Strange feeling.

Now I am off to go take yet another nap. Or eat. Hm. Both possibilities sound great.

Thanks for all the good vibes. I think they helped!

Thursday

Had another OB appointment today, which doubled as my pre-op appointment, too. I am scheduled for 8:45 am on Thursday for my cerclage.

I am getting more nervous by the minute. I can't wait for it to be over and done.

Of note: I have had several Braxton Hicks contractions over the weekend and this week. Nothing that was regular or painful. I did talk to the OB about it. He asked if I had any pain with the contractions (No) and whether I could pinpoint if they were due to full bladder, being tired, etc (Yes).

All can be explained away, but they still make me nervous and cement my gut's feeling that I need to have this cerclage.

Dr. Doom's Visit

Edited to add**You know what blog readers like now a days? When the blog writer hits "publish" rather than "save" after she finishes a post. I can't believe I did that! That might explain why there were no comments! Sigh. My mental capabilities have really taken a turn for the worse lately.

Let me just say that I have brilliant ideas at the end of June. I mean, really I do. This past June, I had the brilliant idea to order tickets for a UCLA football game.

75 of them, because, you know, everyone wants to take 75 thirteen and fourteen year old kids to the Rose Bowl to watch a football game. Right?

I had such high hopes, but fatigue, a broken down bus, an hour and fifteen minute wait for a replacement bus (with NO bathroom access!), and 200 degree weather at the actual Rose Bowl where there was NO shade and NO rain (but it was freaking raining hard enough to warrant flash flood warnings all around us) has worn me out to a level I haven't experienced since...well, since not that long ago, but still. You get the point.

It was bad enough that the kids voted to come home an hour and a half early. (Thank you universe!)

I went to bed at 7:30 on Saturday night and have been sleeping off and on since!

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So, I am totally sorry for not posting more about Dr. Doom's appointment before now. I'll give you the down and dirty version, as I still would rather be sleeping than doing anything else right now.

Heart rate: 154

Measuring: still a week ahead in size. The baby is a feisty little thing. He/she kept rolling away from the ultrasound, so it took forever to get a good measurement.

NT: 1.53mm (well below the 2.0 minimum they expect to see)

Blood pressure: 121/72

Blood taken for 1st trimester screen.

Cervix: LONG and CLOSED (whoot)

Placenta is low lying, but the expectation is that it should move up as the baby grows. We shall see.

I spoke to Dr. Doom about my cerclage. He tried to tell me that I didn't really need one--twin pregnancies are much different than singleton pregnancies...blah, blah, blah. I point blank asked him if he could guarantee that my cervix would hold this pregnancy. Of course he couldn't say that, so he backed down and said it was probably a good idea for me to do it.

I also told him I was going to be as proactive as I can be this time around and asked if he would prescribe P17 shots for me. He said he would at my next visit in 5 weeks. (You'd start the shots between 16 and 17 weeks, so that is fine.)

Then he said that things looked normal before he shook our hands and left.

I am relieved that the appointment went so well, but it always shocks me some to not have that other shoe dropped. It's a strange feeling. Don't get me wrong. I am excited about the possibility and all. It's just...well...I worry now when things go too well.

Sad isn't that?

Straight from Dr. Doom's lips, "Everything looks normal!" I'll take it. :-)

More later!

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