#Microblog Monday

For a while now, I've been following the story of an IF couple who find themselves pregnant with with two sets of identical twins. They are sugary sweet, if not even a bit annoying in their continued attention seeking, but I am definitely someone who roots for the underdog. Quads with a side order of TTTS after an 8 year ride of infertility definitely puts them in that underdog category.

In the beginning, I was nervous for them as the odds of delivering healthy babies were not in their favor. I rooted for them.

I still do.

Probably more so now.

They delivered their babies at 29.5 weeks with weights "a little over two pounds" for three of the babies and "slightly less than two pounds" for the fourth. News stories describe a "safe and healthy arrival of (the parents') four daughters," which is downright aggravating for a preemie mom like myself to read. There is no way babies can be the weights that they are, born 11 weeks early like they were, and be described as healthy.

Sigh.


But as I read their daily updates and excited musings, something changed over the last week or so.

I've spent some time reflecting about what bothers me most about this story. Sure it's annoying that the family acts like everything is wonderful and chooses to share only the upbeat and positive news they hear. I can live with that. We all can decide what part of our story we want to share with the world.

Nor is it that now that the babies are born the news will gloss over the very real dangers these tiny newborns face and perpetuate the myth that preemies are just just like full term babies only smaller. (As opposed to acknowledging that these babies who are born before they have truly finished developing can face very real consequences from their early arrival.)

The part that stings is that the universe (and damned good medical care) allowed this woman to carry their babies to nearly 30 weeks.

Their FOUR babies.

Why couldn't my body, and the bodies of far too many other women, do the same? Why?

Every once in a while there is a story that starts me on a pity party spiral. After reading this story, I know that this in one such story; yet, like a masochist intent on torturing herself, I keep going back.

Back to both the story and that age old question. Why?

Stop by Mel's Stirrup Queens for more #Microblog Monday posts.

Weekend Leftovers

The holidays? Whew. 

I love this time of year. 

I completely lose my mind at this time of year. 

Leading up to the big day, I look forward to everything being done...

and then when it is, I want it all back again.

That being said, we had a lovely Christmas. :)

~~~

We have been struck by the Sick that will not end. I don't know if it this is still the original bug, if it's cycling through the house again, or if they somehow contracted something new, but holy hell I am exhausted.

Yesterday, Ja.son developed a viral rash for added fun. I'm thinking it's fifth disease--had it not been Friday night and him acting otherwise fine, I'd have taken him to the pediatrician to make sure. Sigh.

I'm telling you that these school germs may just do me in.

~~~

I'm trying to find a series to watch with Is.aac. Because we have watched surprisingly little adult television, there are a lot of possibilities. Any suggestions on a series we could watch (and enjoy) together?

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers.

Yet Another Change

There's more change ahead for my boy. His aide, who was instrumental in helping him overcome some pretty miserable days at school last year, will be leaving him this week. There was no warning for us; the replacement aide was there this morning ready to shadow for a few days and then take over.

I'm frustrated. Upset. Hell, I'm angry.

I'm so sad for my boy. He loves this woman.

He'd just got his footing this year. We'd finally found the balance between meds, support, and structure that allowed him to thrive. And now?

Now I feel like his tentative hold on the success is slipping away.,,

I can't fault her for going--she's moving to a position with better pay and more benefits, and I know she has her own family to support.

Still, I can't help but feel like we've (and yes, this is a whole family kind of thing) been abandoned.

I hate that my boy so often gets the rug pulled from under him. Yes, he is resilient. He will survive this transition like he has all the others. But why does his resilience have to be tested time and time again?

Sigh.

I'm trying to be positive in spite of what I write here.

I want this new aide to be even better than our wonder aide who is leaving.

I want this to work for him because we have no other choice.

It has to work.

Please let this be a change for the good.

Creme de la Creme

The Best of the Adoption/Loss/Infertility Blogs of 2014

I submitted my post from 2014. Did you? If not, head on over to Stirrup Queens to add your favorite post for 2014 to the list. :)

#Microblog Monday - Blocked

I blocked my first person on FB this weekend. I also blocked my second, third, and fourth person while I was at it.

I'm not sure what I expected would happen when I followed through with the act. Nothing did, of course. I would even venture to guess that the block-ees don't even know that I did it yet.

Maybe they'll never realize it.

Though it was a decision long in coming, I held off for the longest time. It wasn't the concern about hurting their feelings (and they had certainly not worried about my feelings leading up to this) that gave me pause. Rather it was the feeling of obligation that stopped me -- we had been rather close at one point. Maybe we should still be close although life and circumstance got in the way. Thus the final act of severing the small tie we had left felt too heavy. I avoided it hoping against all hope that something would change. For years I overlooked behavior that I would not accept from anyone else in my life.

When the act was done, it was oddly freeing. As sad as it is that I am putting those relationships behind me, the relief that I'm feeling now reminds me that it was the right decision.

A sad one, but still right.

Stop by Mel's for more #Microblog Monday posts.

Rare

We were done with the photo session with my grandma, and I had just finished taking care of the details with the photographer. As I turned to go, the photographer looked up, called us over, and took this.

A rare picture of us kissing. :)

#Microblog Monday

I spent this weekend dealing with issues of stomach rebellion. It could simply be that my body protests all of the food I've ingested through the holiday. More likely this has been the manifestation of stress.

My 92 year old grandmother is here, and while I love her to pieces, her visits are not without challenges. Namely, the woman speaks her mind about everything without much care about how her words affect those around her. I do not think that her intent is malicious, but as a woman who has lived nearly a century, her ideas and my ideas about the world are not exactly similar. Couple that with the fact that the years have weakened her filter, and well...it's been difficult.

And now I've had far too many conversations with little ones about what grandma means when she said xyz. Sigh.

I want my boys to know her, and I truly am happy she is here. I am keenly aware that there may not be many more visits with her.

Still, I feel horrible that I was relieved to not have to go visit today. It's even worse that I'm counting down the days until she leaves. :(

Stop by Stirrup Queens for more Microblog Monday posts.