Happy Easter!

Thank you to everyone who left me a line about reading the blog. I'm working my way through responding to all of your comments via email. I sure hope that replying to your comments via email actually works...

Anyway, this was a pretty eventful weekend, so I definitely have to do an update post tomorrow. Until then, I just wanted to say I hope you all had a wonderful Easter. :)



It looks a lot better if you click on it to enlarge.

 

 

A new thing the mall did this year was to take pictures before you actually get to see the Easter Bunny. My guess is that the reason for it is twofold: 1) give those waiting something to do, and 2) try to extract more money from everyone. Fortunately, we didn't need to worry about number 1, as there was absolutely no one in front of us. As you can see, they nailed us with number 2, though. :) How could I resist? Look at how cute that picture came out!

 

After the family picture, we walked around to visit the Easter Bunny. Jack was a little unsure of the big dude, but he managed fairly well. Jason could not wait to see him. Shawn was not going to get anywhere close to the Easter Bunny. In fact, Shawn was most annoyed we weren't going to see Santa. He went so far as to insist we just head on up to the North Pole so he could have his visit. Cracked me up!

Thanks again, everyone!

Merry Christmas!

It has been a day here. Jeez. One boy throwing up and sick. Another made an unexpected escape through a not completely closed door. I finally found him across the street. (Scared the shit out of me! 3 minutes of pure terror, that's for sure. It did not help that as I walked out the door there was a car slowly drivig down the street. Thought the boy had just been kidnapped!) The third boy thought the day was fantastic until he fell and cut his ear on, of all things, a cardboard box. Sigh.

Still, we managed to have a good day overall, even Sh.awn, our sickie. Sh.awn has a few presents left to open tomorrow, which will extend the fun a little longer. Both Ja.son and Jack had a blast playing with their new toys. Is.aac and I have found a truce for right now, which is a most welcome reprieve from the bickering (and fighting). In a word, right now we are okay. That definitely makes me feel a lot better about things in general...funny how good days do that for you.

Anyway, from our house to yours,

Merry Christmas!

The big boys loved Santa this year!
I love this picture. It managed to capture
both their personalities perfectly!

Jack was torn. Santa's great from afar.
He's not as great when you're sitting on his lap
according to Jack. lol

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to the best dad around!



It's been quite the journey, but boy do we have some amazing little wonders to show for it. We're so lucky you're ours!

Happy Easter!

This has been a whirlwind weekend, what with Jack's birthday yesterday and Easter today. I swear I feel like I haven't slept for days.

First of all, I hope you all had a wonderful Easter! Ours was the kind of quiet wonderful I love--there was just enough chaos to make things interesting but not enough to make me stress. Perfect.

(The pictures are cross posted with the boys' blog.)

The boys' Easter baskets

Checking out their baskets this morning

They loved their books, matchbox cars, and Octonauts toys the Easter Bunny left. Sh.awn was pretty excited about his chocolate eggs, too. (Ja.son and Jack - not so much. Somehow they were not blessed? cursed with my chocolate loving genes.)

It was raining outside, so we had an indoor Easter egg hunt with the basket of eggs the Easter Bunny left. (The Easter Bunny doesn't hide them, he leaves a basket of eggs for us to hide later in the day.)

Easter egg hunt! Ja.son was a egg hunting madman!

Jack focused all of his energy on two eggs, which he
promptly destroyed with his teeth. Ha! He's loving his yellow egg here.
 

Sh.awn loved opening his eggs to see what was inside.
Whoa! I found three dollars!

 After a short nap, we headed over to my mom's house for Easter dinner.

Daddy and Jack playing before we ate.
Jack is in a full on "I love daddy" phase.
It really is sweet to see them together.

Shawn, on the other hand, is in a full on "I want ONLY mommy"
phase which is completely sweet and totally maddening at the same time.
I'm sorry, but daddy can wipe your butt, too, kid.

My mom also gave the boys Easter baskets filled with goodies. (It was funny how close the baskets she created was to the ones I created. I think it would be wise to talk about what we're adding to baskets next year.)

Ja.son playing with his Easter toys.

We headed home and the boys fell quickly to sleep. That gave Is.aac and I a chance to finally have some quiet time ourselves. I think it was the first moment of downtime we've had since Thursday night.

Look how happy we are!

All in all, this was a pretty fantastic day (and weekend!) for us. :)

I hope you had a very Happy Easter!

This Is NEVER Going to Get Old

Some might say that it's a Christmas miracle. I might even agree. ;) But, I know for certain that it will never get old to watch this...



He's done a lot of standing and walking holding on to something. He even did quite a bit of short jaunts from one thing to another, only if there was something to fall into on arrival. Three days ago, though, he took the plunge and started walking across the room. He hasn't fallen yet, either.

Finally.

I won't lie and say it doesn't bring me a lot of relief that he is finally doing it.

Nor will I lie and say I'm not enjoying seeing one of my boys take off and walk!* (although I have to admit to wondering how he is able to stay upright sometimes, lol)

Hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!

*For those of you new here, you may not understand the significance of my Jack walking. I mean, seriously. Kids walk all the time. At our house, though, my boys haven't walked yet. My five year olds can't, thanks to the lasting effects of their prematurity. So, this is our first experience, and it is glorious to behold. :-)

Giving Gifts

With twins and a toddler, gift giving can be a bit challenging. Although it looks like there are thousands of toys out in the world, half of the toys are immediately eliminated from contention simply because they are geared for children of the opposite gender. (While I am not opposed to giving the boys gifts that might be considered "girl" gifts, that issue hasn't really come up yet.) And when you have two kids the same age, you're already limited gift choices drop exponentially. Plus, by the time the toddler reaches any given age, it seems like he already has half a toy store at his disposal. Finding something new and interesting for him is just as difficult.

Really, you have two options.

1) Buy the same toys for everyone. This may seem like a valid option, but in practice it doesn't really work. You could have FIVE of the exact same toys in your house expecting that everyone will play harmoniously together because, hey! everyone has his own toy! The problem is, the ONLY toy child A will want is the one his brother has in his hands. Of course no other toy will do, and shame on you for trying to get child A to see that the other four toys are just as good. Besides, it can be incredibly boring to have two of everything (for them and for me). Sigh.

or

2) Purchase only one of any given toy, directing each toy to the child whose interests and/or personality best matches it. You know, do the same thing parents of single children do all the time. This option sounds plausible, really it does. Yet, with the limited choices of toys available and the fact that your children spend every waking moment together, trying to find that perfect toy for one vs. the other is harder than one might think. What one likes is often what the other likes, which gets tricky. For the toddler, you just pray like heck that there is something, somewhere he doesn't already have access to that he'll like.

So what's a mom to do? To some extent, I try to make things somewhat comparable between gifts for the boys. How do I make things "fair" without going crazy in the process?

I found a blog that talked about simple gift giving. This year I'm going to try it and see if it helps. It goes something like this.

Gifts are designated into different categories:

• something they WANT
• something they NEED
• something to WEAR
• something to READ
• something to WATCH
• something to LISTEN TO
• something to PLAY WITH
• something to CREATE

What I like is that these categories are gift giving guidelines. Hopefully they will help keep me organized in my shopping, making it easier to keep things fairly balanced. I have given myself permission to give group gifts and decided the boys aren’t necessarily guaranteed an item in every category. So we shall see how it goes. I'll keep you updated on my experience this year.

P.S. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Getting Excited About Christmas

I've always wanted to get those picture Christmas cards that everyone else sends. This year, we're sending them out, too. :-)

I accidentally found a groupon for 53% off, which literally allowed me to splurge. I'm so excited!

Happy Halloween (A Day Late)

A day late, but the wish is still sincere. I hope you all had a fun filled Halloween.

My crew certainly did. We went to the mall again to trick-or-treat. They loved, loved, loved talking to the people in the stores and getting candy. lol. Jason had so much fun he tried to go to sleep with his bag. He was so excited about having real. live. candy! Shawn just wanted to stop to chat with every single person he saw. He is such a charmer. And Jack...well, he just goes with the flow. ;-)

Once again, though, I needed to remember my lesson about not setting my expectations ahead of time. Things rarely go as I have them in my head, yet we always seem to have a good time anyway. The hard part is that it takes my anxiety ratcheting up a few notches before I realize it is time to let things go. (Oh how I yearn to control everything.) When I relax, things are so much easier (and more fun) for us all. I'm getting there slowly but surely.

Jack - Popeye
We got so many comments about his costume!
He didn't wear the muscle arms while we were out. I
just drew anchors on his arms with eye liner then.
Of course, I then couldn't get the eye liner off of his skin
later that evening, but it looked cute while we were out.

Jay - Jeff Gordon
"Mommy, this costume makes my underwear go in
my butt." I almost died from laughter. I got to teach
the boy the term, "merf." lol

Sh.awn was Woody
He only wore the hat for 2% of the night
Picture taking was not during that 2% of time. Sigh.

A New Tradition

Only once a year, the night before Easter, jelly beans become magic.

Take some jelly beans...any will do. They all become magic the night before Easter!

Jason is checking out his magical jelly beans.
Tell me the story again, daddy!

Shawn isn't sure this is going to work.
"Magic" beans, mommy? Are you sure?

Plant the magic jelly beans in some dirt...

The first bean goes into the dirt...

And more beans...

Covering the beans up with dirt...

Time to add even more beans.
Can't ever have too much magic!

Daddy, are you sure this is going to work?

While you sleep, the Easter Bunny comes to bring your Easter baskets. If he sees you planted jelly beans, he'll wave his magic Easter basket over your dirt.

Voila!

Magic!

Look what's sprouted from our magic beans!*

I think the boys are going to be blown away when they see how their magic beans changed while they slept. :-)

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Brought to you from a link through Pintrest. We changed it up a little and added our own twist.

*These flower suckers are perfect! We found them at CVS.

Happy Valentine's Day

---

From tonight's conversation:
"If you were my age, and I was your age, then we could be married. Wouldn't that be fun?"

Already wanting to marry mom. I think my heart just melted again...

Christmas 2011

The children are all tuckered,
From their fun filled day,
Snuggled in bed,
To (hopefully) sleep the night away.

The parents are both sitting,
Remembering the sight,
Of the three little faces,
Aglow with delight.

They opened their presents,
They played with their toys,
They laughed and they giggled,
All filled with Christmas joys.*

From our family to yours,
We wish you peace, joy, and light,
Merry Christmas to all,  
and to all a good night!**

The dynamic duo in their Christmas pajamas.

Jack in his Christmas pajamas.

---

For those of you who wonder why the boys are always separated when I take pictures, behold this...

Jack just joined the party on the chair.

No one is happy. Cue madness.
Cue mommy picking Jack up and removing him from the chair.

Then I am left with a bunch of pictures that look like this.

'Nuff said, right? Sigh.

----

*Inspired by "Up on the House Top" by Benjamin Hanby (1864)
**Clement Clarke Moore - from "Twas the Night before Christmas" (1822)

I'm A Lucky Girl

Really. I am.

I love all my boys very much, and they love me.

Like I said.

I am a very lucky girl.

Happy Father's Day, Babe.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day has always been a day of mixed feelings, my emotions caught somewhere between longing and enjoyment.

In a strange way, I didn't feel like I belonged in either world. How could I continue to long for another child when I had my boys? So many people were still trying to have one child, and here I was with twins. And yet, I didn't feel like I was done trying to expand my family.

In the past, Mother's Day hasn't always been a happy day. On my first Mother's Day, Sh.awn was in the hospital with Is.aac awaiting surgery, while I was home with Ja.son. It wasn't even acknowledged. The years after that were spent waiting for the unknown and filled to some extent with the fear that something bad was about to happen. As if that wasn't enough, I guilted myself into believing that I didn't deserve a day to honor me as a mother.

I am amazingly good at torturing myself.

This year, I opened myself to truly enjoy the celebration. And you know what? It was nice to not have to hold myself back, just in case.

(Notice our tea set in the background. We love us some tea parties around here.)

I had a wonderfully quiet day with my family, just the way I wanted it. Go figure.

It still shocks me to see how great life can be when you open yourself up to live it. It isn't perfect, and it isn't always easy, but is is great.

I am very blessed.

---

Lastly, I wanted to wish a Happy Mother's Day to all of you mommies, whether your babies are here on earth, in heaven, or still in your hearts.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter, everyone!

Once again we made the trek to the mall to visit our favorite springtime character...the Easter Bunny! The boys were abuzz with excitement on the way there. We had talked the outing up, and both seemed to look forward to meeting the big guy in white. Ja.ckson affirmed his agreement with his steady snores.

We were all set. Nothing could go wrong!

That is, nothing could go wrong until we saw the BIG BUNNY. Yikes. He was actually okay from afar. As we waited in line, the boys seemed just fine.

Just in case, we had decided that this would be a family picture (our first!) in an effort to make the big boys a bit more comfortable.

Ja.son actually was okay at first. Here he is sporting a sort of deer caught in headlights look. He wasn't thrilled, exactly, but he was giving this experience a shot. Sh.awn, however, was not okay. Notice his look of terror the moment he sat on the bunny's lap. I think he might be saying, "Get me off!" over and over again to Is.aac in this first shot.

Now this one seemed to catch us all off guard. Ja.son had now decided that Sh.awn must be on to something, so he joined in on the crying fest. I may be telling him that it was okay when the photographer snapped this picture. Sh.awn was caught taking another glance at the scary bunny, and the hysterics started up again. Ja.ck has started to fidget some, too, what with all the noise and all. I must say, though, that Is.aac is looking pretty good!

For this last shot, Is.aac and I have decided that crying will be the best we're going to get for the pictures, so we might as well smile and look good ourselves amid all the chaos. We're used to it; I think it may be the story of our lives now! :-)

I don't know why, but I love shots like this. They are real...and that makes them all the more special to me. Besides, if all of our pictures were perfect, what would I have to embarrass them with when they bring home their girlfriends? (Not that I would ever do such a thing...heh heh.)

We hope you have a wonderful day!



2010 in Review

A quick review of 2010--a little late (my MO now a days).

2010 Accomplishments

I have a two accomplishments that I want to acknowledge. First and foremost, I have little Baby Lo swimming safely in the old ute of mine. It has been a long and winding road to get to this point, but I am getting more and more excited by the day at the prospect of this little guy entering our lives in three months or so.

Another accomplishment is that I think I am finally working toward forgiving myself and my body for all that my family has been through the last few years. Intellectually I know that there is no reason that I need to take "blame" for the shit fest we endured. No one is to blame. It is what it is, and I do believe that we are all stronger for it.


2010 Discovery

The realization that I can and do have now (or the opportunity for) a version of everything I want out of life. This simple little thought still blows my mind.


Favorite 2010 Vacation/Holiday

Hm. There were no vacations for our family this year. IVF sucked all the money out of the vacation fund. Well, it would have had we actually had an official vacation fund. :-)

But I have to say that Christmas this year was the best holiday to date. I love, love, LOVE that the boys finally get the whole gift giving/receiving/Santa thing. It was so much fun to watch them discovery all of the wonder of this time of year.


Picture It

(Favs of the boys from this year)






2010 Regret

Losing so much of the boys' early days because of my fear. So glad I finally figured that out!


Magic Moment in 2010

Seeing that little heartbeat flickering at our first ultrasound. Priceless.


Two 2011 Goals

1) Having a full term baby at the end of March/early April.

2) Continue to seek out and enjoy the beautiful things in life and NOT focus on all that can/might go wrong.

Halloween 2010

My little family...

with Super Shawn...

and Captain America himself, Jason.

We had a wonderful Halloween! Hope your family had a fun-filled holiday, too!