Sh.awn's Day

Yesterday was Sh.awn's Day. 7 years ago yesterday, Shawn came home from the NICU. He was 90 days old.

7 years ago yesterday, after spending so much time in the between--parents yet unable to be care takers--we actually had a child in our home.



I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, especially because I am not exactly sure I truly believed we'd ever get to take them home.

~~~

Yesterday we celebrated Sh.awn and his Homecoming.

He reveled in the chance to call all the shots for the day, eat cake, and open a present.

He loved the idea of a day all for himself, something that is extra nice when you are a twin.

And while it is important for me to give Sh.awn a day to feel special, we celebrate Sh.awn's Homecoming Day because I am so very thankful we have him in our lives.

Happy Homecoming Day, Sh.awn!

Random Thoughts About Dreams

This article came up on my FB feed the other day. Generally I'd bypass this type of thing, but the teaser about things that influence my dreams caught my attention. Most of the list didn't interest me, but the section that talked about your sleep position affecting your dreams gave me pause, especially because I now sleep on my (according to this list) infamous left side.

Lately, my dreams have been crazy. I mean, my dreams are pretty wild on a regular basis, but when I am stressed, my dreams are ramped up to the nth degree. Unfortunately, I've fallen into a cycle of going to bed exhausted, running from things chasing me all night long (which is a common dream although there are other fun ones mixed in), and then waking up just as exhausted.

I have no idea if the study linked in this article has been debunked or even replicated, but it is an interesting thought. Of course, I also found a study that said night owls are more likely to experience nightmares. Apparently I'm screwed twice over. lol

Oh yeah, and there is that stress I'm feeling at play, too. I'm screwed over thrice! I can't win here!

So what about you guys. Anyone else a left side sleeper with vivid dreams? Any night owls plagued by nightmares?

#MicroBlog Monday

I've been sitting here in front of a blank screen for a while now. I'll type. I'll erase. Type. Erase. Over and over again. I work with a few words for a while and then wipe the slate clean. I suppose it takes some of the pressure off when I expect to do the same with the words I'm typing now.

Life is back to feeling overwhelming and I am unsettled. It's nothing big, exactly, that leaves me feeling this way, unless you consider the myriad of little/medium things a big thing in their sum. Maybe that is what it is--nothing by itself but everything together.

I guess life is funny like that.

Anyway, all I can do is wait for the fog to clear. I'll find my mojo again soon enough.

For more #Microblog Monday posts, stop by Mel's Stirrup Queen.

#Microblog Monday

Today the big boys go back to school after a three week vacation. It's been a nice break, but unfortunately, it's been long enough for us to get out of our routine. Yesterday at lunch we talked about finally getting the chance to go back.

J is nervous; his stomach hurt last night, a symptom of his worries. He was almost as nervous as he was before the start of school. Thankfully, he seems a little better this morning. Excitement has mixed with the nerves now.

~~~

Sh.awn was visibly upset yesterday while we talked about returning to school. He knows he'll be working with his new aide, and he struggled with the emotions of the new situation. For the first time, S's old aide, whom he LOVED, will not be there today.

"But why does she not want to be with me any more?" he asked. "Is it because I wasn't good?"

Oh man. Talk about ripping my heart in two.

Of course I explained again that this change had nothing to do with him. I even reminded him of his new aide and talked about how nice she is. He said he understood, but still.

My heart aches. My poor boy.

For him, this change is nothing less than a break-up, one in which he had no idea was coming until it happened. I'm sure it's hard for him to take it any other way than it was something he did when things like 'higher pay' means absolutely nothing to him.

All he cares about is that a person he loved left him.

He didn't say much about it when he woke up today. I didn't bring it up with him either. I know he knows, and I don't want to set the course of his day negatively because I upset him before it started. I simply kissed him on his cheek and wished him a good day like I usually do before I head out to work.

I hope that his day goes well. I hope that he is reminded how kind this new aide is. I hope he quickly learns to love this aide. It won't replace the loss he feels about his old aide leaving, but maybe it will help ease the sting.

Stop by Mel's for more #Microblog Monday posts.

#Microblog Monday - Snuggles

I'm lucky in that my boys love to snuggle. It is not unusual for one to crawl up on the couch next to me and wrap their arms around me.

I love it, and oh how I hope they never outgrow it.

There is something, though, about snuggling with Sh.awn. Holding him always, always makes me fall asleep. I don't know how to explain it, and it is something that doesn't happen with my other boys.

Of all my boys, he is the one about whom I worry most.

He challenges me (and my parenting) the most.

It could be argued that he also brings me the most frustration as a parent.

And yet, he is the one who calms me, who can bring me back into the moment, just like that.

When I snuggle him, all is right in the world...

Oh how I love this sweet boy.

~~~

Stop by Mel's for more #Microblog Monday posts.