Weekend Leftovers

It's been a while since I've done some Leftovers! I didn't get to it on Friday, so my goal was to finish this post by the end of the weekend. Here we are at 9 pm on Sunday night. Mission complete! ;)

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The boys have this week off for their fall break. I, however, have to work for the next two and a half days. Boo.

The good news is that for the last week I have managed to stay caught up in my grading. As of right now, I have absolutely nothing left to grade, and I have nothing planned that will require grading before my break. It feels glorious.

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My work has undergone yet another change. My really good friend was sent on assignment to another school for the remainder of this year and next year. She was the one sane element to an insane administration, so having her leave has hit me on a multitude of levels. I am happy for her; she needed to get out of the toxic situation she was in and this will be so much healthier for her. But man, I'm sad for myself. :(

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Is.aac's company was bought out and taken over this last week. It was not unexpected, though the details were kept very limited. To say he's been stressed would be the understatement of the year.

I don't know exactly how this will affect him and his job in the long run. I am hopeful that we'll not really see any major changes, but you just never know with this kind of thing. As much as I am trying to stay zen over it all, I am worried.

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Being stressed sucks big fat donkey balls.

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I started Christmas shopping. Let it be know that I started before Thanksgiving this year, which is a huge achievement when it happens. Go me!

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Late last week we finally got an email about the questions I had over the IEPs. As I suspected, the school psych I sent my email to had no idea how to respond to my issues because no one has ever questioned their IEP in this way. (That's sad.) She sent my email off to the district office to ask. Of course, I've already dealt with the person at the district office and wasn't all that impressed by her, either. We shall see. If I don't like how they respond, I have the name and number of an advocate. That should make things interesting.

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My boys have been full of the cute lately. Seriously. There's some attitude there, too, but it has mostly been cute. I like it. I hope it lasts!

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Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers.

Our First Parent Conferences

We had the boys' parent conferences on Thursday. I walked away loving their teacher even more than I did before.

Ja.son is proficient in all areas. She said he would be advanced, but the testing the are using at this stage of the game only measures minimum expectations. The next trimester's testing will include more advanced skills. The plan is to show mastery on the kinder sight words before winter break. She'll give me the first grade words/skills expectations then and we'll go from there. She fully expects Ja.son to even exceed the first grade skills at this rate. Whoa.

Sh.awn is basic (progressing toward proficiency) in about half the areas and proficient in the other half. For Sh.awn, it isn't exactly that he isn't "proficient" in all areas, but she's having a hard time formally evaluating him. He bores of the testing rather quickly, so that has made things a bit more challenging to assess. We agree that Sh.awn's academic skills are more along the average range, so I'm not at all worried about the "basic" results at this point. Our focus with Sh.awn will be to continue to acclimate him to the school setting so he'll be ready for the demands of first grade (he tires out about 30 minutes before the end of the half day at school and he still has some minimal behavior quirks we're working on), We both agree he is well on his way toward mastering the kinder skills he'll need to learn this year. Plus, I'll be working on the first grade skills with him when she sends the info home for Ja.son. But most importantly, she believes in Sh.awn and knows he is smart. I am happy with the plan for him, too.

It is obvious that she cares for my boys and wants to help them.

Just before the end of the conference, we got to talking about non conference things. She shared that she had difficult pregnancies herself. After losing her first pregnancy at 18 weeks, she went into preterm labor with her second pregnancy at 23 weeks. She came close to delivering several other times and went on 17 weeks of bed rest. Although she did ultimately deliver at term, she knows what it is like to have the neos come in to tell her the grim statistics for her baby if he were to be born early. For her third pregnancy, she had appointment after appointment with Dr. Doom, also. She had a cerclage at 18 weeks, more pre-term labor, and more bed rest. She delivered that boy at 39 weeks only to have him still end in up respiratory distress and need NICU time.

She gets it.

She's fighting so hard for my boys because she sees in my boys what life could have very well have been for her own boys.

I am so very grateful the universe put this woman in our path. It was just on the off chance that someone mentioned we could move schools to be closer to the therapy unit the boys attend. We found out by accident when it was time to complete the paperwork to move. Then the boys were first put into first grade classes, which meant the straight kinder classes were full and they only had space in this teacher's class. There was so much drama just trying to get them into kinder, and yet, it was like everything aligned for her to be the boys' teacher.

This woman who continues to send me updates like this:

Good Morning,
Before I forget...

1. We went to explore the computer lab yesterday. BOTH boys put on headphones to practice using the computer. We will be going regularly after break so I'm optimistic this will be an exciting time.

2. Layla and Ja.son have made plans to meet for Christmas caroling. At the end of the day yesterday, they had quite the conversation about missing each other and things of that nature. He then thanked her for the invitation to her house. Too cute!

3. Sh.awn helped me pass out Friday work! He called the kids' names for me. It ranks high on the list for times he has connected so completely with us. The kids enjoyed having him call their names and waited patiently for their turn. Again, too cute!

has been a godsend. I know not many teachers will commit and follow through with this kind of communication to a parent. For weeks, she sent me daily emails about the boys. While she doesn't need to email daily anymore, she still sends me updates about successes (or trials on those occasions) at least once a week.

So thank you, universe, for giving us this lucky break. Thank you for knowing we needed it even though we didn't know we needed it. I know our reality right now would be so different than what it is had she not been their teacher.

Now, what do I do for her for Christmas?!

Kindergarten Drama

For once, it's the innocent kind.

At drop off today, the boys' teacher told Is.aac she had to have a talk with the class about not kissing at school. The new directive is that "we only kiss our family." 

Why you ask?

Because Layla, a little girl who seems to be Ja.son's biggest fan (his words, not mine), was kissing on my boy at recess, of course.

I'm dying here! Lol!

Apparently it was all very innocent, and Layla was heartbroken that she had "broken" a school rule.

Ja.son, on the other hand, had no idea why the teacher talked to them at all. I asked him if anyone was kissing at school. "Mom, that's silly." was his reply. He's such a clueless boy!

"Do we kiss anyone at school, Jay?"

"We only kiss family."

Lol. I suppose it will be interesting when my boys start kissing each other. Hey, they're family, so it's allowed! I bet the teacher hadn't considered that one.

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I had to laugh when Is.aac sent me a text later in the day bemoaning the fact that he had passed on his school boy curse to his children. He had a rough time in elementary school himself because all the little girls would stake their claim and harass him. "You know, Stac, those little girls can't resist the (our last name) looks and charm." LOL.
 

All the Time

Someone on a message board I frequent asked the other day if we ever wondered how our kids would be had they not been born prematurely. Three words immediately ran through my mind.

All. The. Time.

Lately, I've been thinking about it all the time. How can I not when we deal with the lasting effects of their prematurity every single day?

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Maybe this issue is so prominent on my mind right now because I feel the enormous weight of trying to be the best advocate I can for the boys. I owe it to them, not just because I am their mom and I love them with all my being, but because it is the least I can do for them.

I haven't signed the boys' IEPs yet. They are here, sitting on our kitchen table. All they need is the stroke of a pen, but I can't bring myself to actually write my name on the indicated line.

I am generally okay with the services they are offering for the boys. Right now it's a fine line between providing adequate services while not detracting from their educational school day.

 

I am, however, still uncomfortable with one of the report summaries and the testing results for Sh.awn. I strongly feel that the results are wildly inaccurate, and I am very uncomfortable allowing that report to become a part of his permanent record. I also feel that there was a gross misunderstanding of Sh.awn's hydrocephalus diagnosis reflected in her summary. I know full well that our decisions will lay their educational foundation for many years to come.

 

So I called the person out on it. I wrote her a letter detailing our (mostly my but Is.aac is definitely supporting my thoughts) concerns. 

 

There has not yet been a reply.

 

My gut is telling me that we need to be very cautious about what information we allow into Sh.awn and Ja.son's educational records. 

 

So I guess it's no surprise I can't shake the thought of just how different things would be for them if they hadn't been born 12 weeks too early.

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How would things be different for my boys? How would we be different as a family? How would I be different? I know there isn't really any answer to those questions. I also know my mind has romanticized how wonderfully "normal" life would be for us had things gone perfectly.

On the message board, person after person commented that they often think about how life would be different had their families not been affected by prematurity. It was comforting for me to read.

Proud

I have more to say on this topic, but I am trying to finish my grades (I hate grading!) and time is limited tonight. I did still want to commemorate the day, though. I decided it was better to cross post than to wait until tomorrow.

It's no secret that I feel strongly about prematurity and its lasting effects for my family. For as much as their early birth has altered the reality we envisioned we'd live as parents, I am so unbelievably proud of my boys...of us for surviving.

For thriving.

I guess the one good thing prematurity has brought to us is tangible proof of just how strong and determined my crew can be.

Boy are we determined. ;)

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November 17 is World Prematurity Day.

It's a day to think about the global issue of prematurity and the one in eight children born too soon.

For me, it's a day to marvel at my two preemie miracles.

Ja.son (left) and Sh.awn (right)

A time to think of how far they've come since their very early arrival.

Ja.son (twin B)

Sh.awn (twin A)

A time to imagine just how much further they will go.

Showing some love on their birthday.

Look out world. These boys are going to take you by storm. I know that much!

If you're interested, here's last year's post for World Prematurity Day that was posted on the boys' blog. I have to say it has some really sweet pictures of our two little heroes. :)

Trying to Get Over It

Each day I let myself stay in the quiet, it gets harder to speak. I get comfortable with the uncomfortable feeling of holding things in. Eventually, it feels like I really have nothing to say anyway.

I forget that the bottleneck of emotion is eased when I allow myself the outlet. Sigh.

It's been over two weeks since I've written anything here. I've tried, too. It's time to make myself get over it.

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I have a lot on my plate right now, and I'm not sure I am handling things as well as I could--as maybe I should.

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I got a compliment about my parenting the other day. Sadly, all I could think about was how the person didn't really know all that I'm not doing. Sure, it looks like I've got a handle on that particular area, but what about all of the other areas? I am the master at beating myself up for my own lack of perfection, even though I know full well that perfection isn't possible.

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We got our pictures back today.

I think they came out pretty nice. It's damn hard to get three boys to look at the camera and smile all at the same time, especially when Jack wasn't interested in the whole picture scene at all. I'm relieved we got some good ones after all. :)

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We are now the owners of two disabled parking placards. My mom uses one to pick up the boys from school every day. I couldn't bring myself to use the other one until this last weekend.

Um, yeah.

I'm still not sure how I feel about all of that.