Friday Night Leftovers

This has been a week of appointments. The boys had their 6 month neurology checks. I hate these appoinmtments with a passion and always work myself up into a panic, but once again he was impressed by the boys and said as much. He never fails to tell us that he is so happy that our boys are thriving when it could have very well been the opposite.

And well...I don't know how I feel about that. I mean, yes, I am happy that the boys are doing so well. But it is clear that the medical community did not expect things to.

That realization fills me with anger and frustration. To some extent, I do believe that their expectations dictated the care we received in those early days. While they couldn't write us off entirely, I wonder how different those challenging days would have been had the medical community had the faith in my kids that we did.

Sigh. I guess it is all mute now, and not something I should waste my time thinking about.

~~~

Ja.son had an opthamology appointment. I am so excited that his eyes are also now improving drastically, just as Sh.awn's eyes did. When they had first got their glasses at 12 months old, the opthamologist said that there was the possibility that their eyes would improve enough to no longer need glasses. That is looking a little more realistic now.

Yay!

Of course, a weaker script means that Ja.son needs new glasses. We went off to order them today, and for the first time, he chose his own glasses. (Which shocked me because Sh.awn could have cared less about picking his own glasses 6 months ago--I guess I thought Jay would be the same.)

Blue glasses at that. He loves them.

Sometime when I wasn't looking, my little guy started to grow up for reals. (sniff, sniff)

~~~

In preperation for our trip to Disney, Is.aac took my car out to get new tires. The next day, I promptly ran over a bolt and killed one of them.

I just can't believe that this happened again! The last time I got new tires I ran over a key (a flat one even) and ended up putting a whole in the tire.

Who but me does that? I mean, seriously!

As a plus, I now know how to change the tire on my car. I'll just add that to my growing list of handyman skills, thankyouverymuch.

As another plus, Is.aac came and helped put on the spare and took it to go get it fixed.

~~~

Olympics! Started! Yay!

~~~

The GE commercial showing the preemies from the Opening Ceremony totally made me cry. Oh man did it bring back memories. Here's the link if you missed it. http://lbbonline.com/videos/1512/

~~~

Tooth numero dos has now loosened enough to start wiggling it with his tongue. It looks like the tooth fairy will be back to our house before we know it.

~~~

Disney is coming! So much to finish planning! Fingers crossed that they enjoy it and don't end up killing us doing it.

~~~

I went out to lunch with some girlfriends this week. We sat outside for approximately two hours afterwhich, I looked like some sort of blonde lobster.

OMG did I get fried.

This was after applying 70+ sunscreen before I left. Jeez.

As an experiment, Is.aac put this aloe supplement his company makes on one of my hands while he left the other one alone. It was kind of a sticky, gooey mess, but whatever.

The next day, the hand he put the stuff on was slightly pink but didn't hurt at all. The other hand was still as red as it was yesterday.

I waited until Is.aac left for work and then smoothered my face with that stuff. It couldn't hurt, right? (except for dooming myself for a breakout. at this point I'd rather have a few pimples compared to what I've got now.)

We shall see how it looks tomorrow. lol. And no, I'm not going to tell Is.aac I did it!

~~~

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers!

New Book

Always on the lookout to get this boy talking, Jack got a new picture book filled with animals today. He looked at it for quite a while--wearing this expression the entire time. Is it only me, or does he seem a bit overwhelmed?

Are you kidding me, woman?
You say I have to learn the names of all of these animals?
That's crazy talk!

Oh how my boys crack me up!

Friday Night Leftovers on Saturday -- Oops, It's Past Midnight. I Mean Sunday

Well, Sh.awn is better. I am still cautious, but I do think whatever was happening has passed.

I do have to admit to being happy that Jack and I were sneezing and have cold symptoms today. It makes me feel less like there is something wrong, and more like this was some sort of virus that affected Sh.awn differently.

Mostly, I have no freaking idea what is going on with him. I hate it.

~~~

Ja.son lost his tooth yesterday. It makes me sad to have him one step closer to being all grown up. He's too little to have big teeth. Sniff, sniff.


It was the cutest thing to hear him when he woke up. He exclaimed, "She came!" and made a beeline to our room to show me the coin she brought. He ended with, "I love her." So cute!


~~~


A little over a week from now and we'll be at Disneyland. I am a sort of nervous excited about it. I hope the boys enjoy themselves.


We'll be staying at the HoJo you guys suggested. (Thank you!) I just couldn't bring myself to part with the money they wanted for the Disney hotels.


We also get to use the credit card rewards points I earned paying off our IVF. Yea!


~~~


Our 10th Anniversary is coming soon. We try to select traditional gifts for each other. This year that means tin/aluminum or diamond. I have no idea what to get.


I could do a new ring with a diamond in it, but I am not sure that is something that he'd want. He really likes the one I gave him for our wedding. (But maybe he just says that? Idk?)


Do you have any amazing ideas? I'd love to hear them!


~~~


Happy ICLW, everyone!


~~~


Other Highs and Lows from the week:

• Ja.son was playing with some of Jack's letter blocks. He was moving them around and apparently randomly came up with the word "sex." I just about fell over when he read it out loud. Sure enough. He even spelled it correctly. Surely it was some fluke, right? Not sure if this was a High! because it made me laugh afterward, or a Low because OMG my kid somehow spelled the word sex.
• Sh.awn has been doing some great stretching and is finally on his own sitting in ways other than the dreaded W sit. For those of you who don't know, W sitting (on knees with legs out at sides so they make a W) can lead to skeletal and muscular issues. This makes me SO happy! High!
• Jack is a little whirlwind around this place. I am just not used to the energy this boy has. He is so very different from the boys at this age. That is a very good thing, I think. :) High!
• Disney is fast approaching! High!
• Is.aac is taking the entire week of our anniversary off of work. Part of that time will be spent at Disney, but not all. It will be nice to have him here. High!

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers!

I Really Wish He Wouldn't Throw Up. Ever. That Wouldn't Be too Much to Ask, Would It?

Sh.awn had another episode tonight--#4. He was fine, and then all of sudden he wasn't. I don't know what it is that's going on with him, but I do NOT like it. We may have a better insight into a trigger, though. Yea?

He's resting on the floor of the living room while we watch Project Runway. I have the strongest urge that I need to watch him breathe.

I hate it when he throws up. Fear instantly creates a knot in the pit of my stomach. I get tightly wound and stay that way while I wait for something else to happen. Sigh.

We handled it better this time, which, I don't know, makes me feel uneasy. It's awful to have enough of these episodes to compare.

And it is just plain sad to hear Ja.son ask if we are taking Sh.awn to the hospital again because he threw up.

Mostly Wordless Wednesday - Parenting Fail

I generally consider myself to be pretty on top of things having to do with the boys. Imagine my surprise, after looking in his mouth twice a day, every day, Is.aac called me over this evening to look in Ja.son's mouth. I saw this:

I swear I just about fell over.

(Then I might have had an internal freak out over what those big teeth behind those baby teeth will likely mean. After which I may have just about snapped his head off while I desperately tried to see if there is anything I missed on the top. Thankfully, there isn't. Sigh. I was somewhat relieved to find that one of the teeth is slightly loose until I realized that the other isn't budging at all. Damn.)

How the hell do two teeth grow in that much before I even know it...when I look in his mouth two f-ing times a day?!!?

I don't know.

I guess I get to call a dentist tomorrow. Whee!

Parenting fail right there. Lol.


In my defense, the boy won't even be 5 for three plus more months, so I wasn't even considering there would be teeth issues at this point. That's something, right?

Leftovers on Saturday

Jack has added another word, "star", to his repertoire. As it stands right now, he is perfectly aligned for the "norms" of 16 months. I am breathing a sigh of relief on this one. I wasn't worried until the pediatrician made me feel like I needed to be worried. Know what I mean?

He still hasn't taken the official plunge toward walking yet. I have been pushing him to walk more in an attempt to expedite the process, which has had the unfortunate side effect of making him not want to walk at all if I am around him. Sigh. Got it kid. I need to back off and let you just be.

~~~

We have decided to take the big boys to Disneyland this summer. My plan is to let Jack have some quality time with grandma while we spend a night down in one of the hotels.

Then I researched pricing. Holy hell is it expensive now!

I think hope they'll have a good time and make it all worth it.

~~~

After all of that therapy drama, Sh.awn had the bitchy therapist again on Friday. I couldn't believe it. True to form, he made a huge fuss when he found out it was her that he'd be seeing. He did calm some before the end of their session, but I think that was likely because she didn't have him actually do anything.

I was furious. The office said it was a substitution they made that morning. I told them to call me if it happens again. If no one else is available besides the bitchy one, then we'd cancel both boys for the day. They just sort of looked at me with their mouths open.

I think they finally understand I am serious, though.

The oddest part was when the bitchy therapist came over to me to say how happy she is about how the transition to the new therapist is going like we have had a lovely relationship this whole time and we'll be sad to see her go. I was just...OMG, she's flipping crazy. No wonder we're having problems with her!

Again, Sh.awn was there so I didn't really get into anything, but I did make sure to point out that Sh.awn does not cry at all with the other therapist. I also told her we were excited about the change as Sh.awn really likes the new one.

Then I smiled and turned away because I am bitchy like that.

~~~

The Lance Burton version of Alice in Wonderland is on right television right now. It's ... interesting. Is.aac keeps saying that Alice reminds him of me. I don't see it. (She's like half my age, too.)

~~~

Other highs and lows from the week:

• Is.aac's paycheck was denied by our bank for lack of funds. It was all straightened out over the weekend, but something like this happening sure does shake a person's confidence in her husband's employer. Low.
• I went out to lunch with some girlfriends this week. It was so nice to talk to people about things other than the potty, Team Umizoomi, and the like. High!
• Jack is saying more words! High!
• I've had a lot of fun doing different things with the boys this week. High!
• We never did make it to breakfast last week. We plan on doing a breakfast for dinner event tomorrow night. We shall see how (if) it goes. Not a high or a low. This one is neutral.

Head to Danifred's for more leftovers.

So Proud!

Ja.son finally got the chance to take out the new wheels for a spin. He made it about a quarter of the way around our block before needing a break. (It took Is.aac and I just under 10 minutes at a decent pace to walk 1/2 around it while pushing the stroller/carrying Ja.son.) After he rested some, he managed the last 1/4 of the block, too.
So proud!



Yeah, I'm cool with my new wheels!

Walking around the 'hood gets a thumbs up!

Taking a break to smell the roses. :-)

~~~

AND Jack added two spoken words to his vocabulary today ("yay" and "all done"). Does it count as two words when he signs and says the same word? (He doesn't say the word when he signs it, it's either one or the other.)

How It Should Be

Therapy day. I wake up to stomach issues. I'm dreading going. I always do.

We are scheduled to have the bitchy therapist again (biding our time...only four more weeks until she is gone forever). I know it is going to be ugly because true to form, as the day progresses, Sh.awn's attitude steadily declines.

I'm not looking forward to it, but as much as it's hard for me, I know it is even worse for him. Everything about him is signaling that the idea of going is taxing him. He's screaming. He's hitting his brother. He is crying during quiet time for no reason at all.

The sad thing is that he wants to go. I know he does. He loves to learn and talk to people. He works hard when motivated and can be so hard working. The end result is a tug-of-war between the want and apprehension.

We get ready to go, get into the car. He's quiet while he looks out the window. I wonder what he's thinking. As we pull into the parking lot, he tells me he wants me to carry him into the building.

I take a deep breath and start with my routine. "You're going to have a great day today, Shawn! I wonder what fun things you'll get to do? What do you think, hm?"

He doesn't answer. He get sfrustrated at how slow Ja.son is. Hurry up. Don't stop. Let's go. The faster he's in, the faster he's out.

We walk through the doors and the whining starts. Then the crying. He turns on me. Tries to hit me. Tells me he doesn't want me. He wants to go back home. I get him to breathe. He quiets until we tell them we're here.

The crying starts all over again.

Ja.son's therapist is ready for him. He goes in. Sh.awn's distress ratchets up a bit more. "You're going to have fun," I tell him. He yells. He doesn't believe me. I don't either.

We wait for a few minutes. Finally another therapist comes to tell him that he isn't seeing his regular therapist, he's seeing his new friend from two weeks ago.

And like that it stops. He wants to go in. Doesn't shed another tear or raise his voice the entire time we're there. That one change makes a world of difference for him.

I peek over and Sh.awn is talking up a storm to his friend. They're working on a computer. I recognize he's doing some extensions and fine motor work. It makes me smile. I relax some and actually get to see what Ja.son has been doing for a change.

This is what it should be like every time.

Every single time.

My kid shouldn't have to have this kind of torment to come to a place that is supposed to help him. So I spoke to the office.

The transition has officially happened today. No more seeing the other therapist. It may mean a lot more juggling to make this happen, and maybe make us have to squeeze in another day, but it is so worth it to see him relaxed and enjoying himself.

He had been stagnant for far too long.

I can't wait to see how my boy will blossom.

~~~

I spoke to the new therapist today for a half an hour. He is wonderful--a bit quirky (he RUNS around the room as he adjusts to his sessions with the kids. hallelujah he can think as he goes!), but he listened to my input and is excited to work with my boy.

More importantly, my boy is excited to work with him.

This is going to a good, good thing I think. Maybe I don't have to hate Wednesdays anymore.

~~~

This is my 1200th post. I love that it is about something that brings me such hope! :-)

Mostly Wordless Wednesday

We had a fun painting rocks today. The boys LOVED it.

It started out calm enough. This was the quiet before the storm, I suppose.

Ja.son being all delicate in his painting.



Sh.awn was concentrating so hard on his rock.

Jack was there, too. He didn't paint rocks, though. He just hung around and was all cute.

LOVE this picture!

It wasn't long before they ditched the brushes and took a more hands on approach.

Who needs paint brushes?

Not I!

In the end, he was covered in paint. (Even his tongue)

Jack managed to stay busy while the big boys painted.


Trying to climb up the slide.

Cleaning up before going in for a bath.

Splash!

It was such a wonderful day!

Weekend Leftovers (or I Never Get This Done on Friday Leftovers)

Thank you for all of your kind words. Truly. I read and reread them to help me gain my foothold on my expectations for Jack and remind me that what I was thinking before the appointment is not out of the "norm" for a fifteen month old.

To be honest, although it is mildly inconvenient that Jack doesn't yet walk, I have never really been all that worried about him mastering this milestone. I have a lot of experience with what is needed before walking happens. Let's face it, this has been my life for the last three plus years. Jack's approach to moving his body is vastly different than his brothers. I am not concerned that he will never walk. I am fairly certain that he will walk within the next month or so if it takes that long.

I told that to the pediatrician.

And if you think about it, why would he start to walk? He adores his two older brothers who both crawl around the house (without their walkers, which we just got this week, so yeah)...just like him. Why would it occur to him to want to do something other than what they are doing? It makes perfect sense that he'd take a little longer to walk with older crawlers as role models, especially when he has all the precursors but hasn't taken the plunge.

When it comes to the talking, he has two words (possibly a third that I didn't count because it isn't a consistent thing) and two signs. The ped did not count the signs as words, which... I don't know, but it seems like she SHOULD count that he signs. The screen said "says more than two words" so that's what was counted. Besides, the big boys talk like fifty hours a day. No one else gets a chance to say anything unless it is to answer one of their never ending questions. Again, he "talks" just not in a lot of recognizeable words. He "answers" me when I ask him questions. He "argues" at me when I tell him no. That seems pretty typical to me.

Maybe the pediatrician is being proactive. Maybe she thinks I want to be proactive. (I don't. I want to let him be who he is going to be without the pressure of constant scrutiny by people who are out to "help" him.) But damn if it isn't defeating when you think your kid is doing okay and a professional tells you that he is not because of some arbitrary sixteen month thresholds of "normal."

Yeah. The screen was for 16 months.

Even if I do think that this screen isn't an accurate description of Jack's abilities, it is crappy to hear someone--anyone--say something negative about my kid. (And I also have issues with them not releasing the questions for these stupid screens BEFORE they are expected to know skills so parents can work on all of this "expected" shit. Ugh.)

All of that is to say that I am off the edge and full of fight and fuck you indifference toward yet another medical professional. I just keep ticking them off of my list. That can't be good...

Sigh.

~~~

Me? Sensitive much?

Maybe.

I don't care, though.

~~~

Other highs and lows from the week: (I do have to say the week was a good week filled with mostly Highs!)

• My mom made it back from her trip this week. I missed her, and I'm glad she is home safe and sound. High!
• The boys had a fabulous 4th of July. It was so much fun to have them really enjoy the fireworks and festivities this year. In the past, it was just too much for them and wasn't very fun. High!
• We are having a lot of fun doing things from our Summer Bucket List. Next up is going out for breakfast tomorrow. We've never been out for breakfast before. High! (I hope.)
• Jack's appointment, which I thought was going to be a high but ended up as a low. Low.
• The weather has been beautiful here. While so many people are dealing with horrible triple digits, we've had nice, mellow days in the low 70's. Tomorrow is predicted at 72. Ahhh... High!

Check out Danifred's for more Leftovers.

Failed

Jack failed his 15 month screen today because he isn't walking (he will walk holding my one hand, but not independently) and doesn't have more words. If he doesn't drastically improve this month, they want us to have him evaluated by EI. I'm sad.

As much as I didn't want to be, it seems I am still desperate for him to be typical. I should have known better than to wish for that...it's almost a given that I won't get it.

Sometimes I think I have my shit all figured out...that I am okay...but things like this to throw me into a spiral. I know it doesn't change him or anything, but I am so tired of people pointing out every weakness in my kids -- makes me feel like I've failed them and fills me with guilt.

Mostly Wordless Wednesday

One of my favorite pictures so far...

Groovy new glasses!

Twenty(five) Questions

I got these questions in an email today. I know they're silly, but sometimes you've just got to have a little fun.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:15. It's usually earlier, though. (Thank you for sleeping in, Sh.awn)
2. What was the first film you saw at the cinema! Bedknobs and Broomsticks. It was playing at the discount theater in my mom's super tiny home town. I think I was around 5, and I went with my brothers, who were not the least bit interested in this movie.
3. What is your favorite TV show?  Currently: Big Bang Theory; Re-Runs: I Love Lucy
4. What do you usually have for breakfast? Instant breakfast, a waffle, and leftover bacon
5. What is your middle name (s)? Lea (pronounced "Lee")
6. What food do you dislike? Things that smell - that makes for a lot of food apparently. Today that was cheese.
7. What kind of car do you drive? Honda
8. What characteristic do you despise? Lying
9. Favorite item of clothing? Jeans sweatshirts jeans sweatshirts sweatpants
10. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Some place tropical and calm
11. Where would you retire to? I'd probably stay right here in California
12. Favorite sport to watch? It's Olympics time, so gymnastics 
13. When is your birthday? April
14. Are you a morning person or a night person? Totally a night person
15. What is your shoe size? 8.5
16. Pets? 2 cats, 2 fish
17. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share with us? Hm. I got the necklace Is.aac had made for me. It is so pretty!
18. What did you want to be when you were little? An astronaut, then the space shuttle blew up. I shifted over to being a pilot after that.
19. How are you today? It was a rough day. The little people were challenging.
20. What is your favorite candy? chocolate anything
21. What is your favorite flower? stargazer lilies - my wedding bouquet was made out of them.
22. What are you listening to right now? the news
23. What was the last thing you ate? a piece of Sees candy
24.  If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Today I'd be periwinkle.
25. How is the weather right now? It was an overcast day with a high of 66 degrees. Now it's 61.

Let me know if you play along. I'd love to read your answers. :-)