Mostly Wordless Wednesday

Still wrapping my mind around this. Man, it's hard.

More School Angst

(Cross posted with the boys' blog for those of you who may read both.)

~~~

The idea of school has started to creep into our daily conversations, and what used to be more of an abstract someday kind of thing has now become a someday soon kind of thing. I think we're all more than a little ... excited nervous sigh ... excitedly nervous about this upcoming transition.

While Sh.awn knows he is going to start school soon, I'm not sure he really cares about the magnitude of this milestone. How can he when he doesn't have anything about which to compare? For him, it seems to all be something to take in stride.

Ja.son, however, has really begun to internalize what school is going to mean to him. Questions like...

"Mom, what if they don't have a cubby for me at kindergarten? That would be a disaster."
 

and...

"But mom, what if they don't like me? What if they think I'm going to destroy the whole school or something?

Are you going to destroy the school?

No, but how do they know that?

Well, you just go in and say, "Hi. I'm Ja.son. Do you want to be friends?"

That's all I have to do?

Yep.

Well, okay then. I'll try."

...make it clear that he has started to think and worry about what the whole school situation will be like. I am trying my best to give him information to comfort and encourage him while at the same time help him talk about these insecurities he has. I do believe he is (they both are) going to love school, which I tell him regularly. I suppose we'll see how well I've done convincing him of that once school starts.

I do have to admit that these conversations are starting to freak me out a little. My ba-hay-bies...are starting school...in 23 days! They were just born yesterday! How can they be old enough for school? One second I'm marveling about how this is possible, when in the next, mama bear rears her head with thoughts about how those kids at school better be nice to my boys. Growl. The second after that I'm right back at "OMG! What am I going to do?! Ba-hay-bies...school...ack!" (I'm pretty sure that's all totally normal parental freak out stuff and not crazy at all. Right? lol)

We've got 23 days until the boys start kinder. I guess it's time for me to figure out what we're going to do for that first day of school. I do know I want to do this project for the boys, but I am at a loss for what else. With Pintrest as my planner, though, the possibilities might be endless. ;)

What did you do for your kids' first day of school?

Who Took My Baby

and left me with this toothless cutie?

Ja.son lost another tooth today. That makes number four.

Sh.awn's two bottom teeth are loose.


Lost teeth. School in a month. Someone needs to slow this time thing down. My boys are growing way too fast.

Friday Night Leftovers

I am flying solo with the boys this weekend. Is.aac left Thursday night for a fun time with his friend in Las Vegas. (I find it a tad funny that it rained hard enough to create a flash flood down the strip this afternoon. It's almost as if the universe is having a little "fun" with him.)

All in all things are going okay so far except for the 4:15 am wakeup by Sh.awn because he had peed his bed. Sigh. I should have known better because I couldn't get him to pee before he went to bed, but what can you do? Besides he had only peed in his bed during the night one time and that had been months ago. It figures he does it again on a night when Is.aac wasn't here to help.

I am going to take him to the potty before I go to bed tonight because of course he didn't pee before bed tonight either. I'll try anything to avoid another repeat of last night's performance. It took me over an hour to fall back asleep after I got back in bed.

~~~

I took the big boys to an impromptu pediatrician meet and greet on Thursday. Actually it was the pediatrician our old pedi referred us to. I wasn't exactly looking for more appointments to do, but we needed to get an authorization for one of the specialist appointments I'd like to arrange (appointment #32 of the summer), and they wouldn't do it without talking to us first.

I think the new pedi was taken aback when I whipped out our medical cheat sheets on each boy (size 11 font, single spaced = 1 full page for Ja.son and 1.5 pages for Sh.awn. As an aside, typing out Sh.awn's surgery history just makes me want to cry. My poor baby). Her physician's assistant said they couldn't find the boys' files that were sent over from the old pedi. Their jaws hit the floor when I pulled out our copies of their files. Is that not common? lol. Anywho, they made copies of a few things for their files while they tried to locate the ones that were sent over and have already requested the authorization yesterday. Score.

The doctor herself seemed fine enough. She was youngish, which I appreciated as most of our other doctors are older men (or assholes when my hands are tied and can't get in to who I want). She had high ratings for customer satisfaction when I researched her. She asked intelligent and relevant questions about the boys' histories and didn't seem freaked out by them or their histories. She also related well to both of them when she talked to them.

It looks like we'll stay with her. Having the pediatrician hunt over for the time being is a huge relief.

~~~

AF is due tomorrow. On Monday and Tuesday I had some pretty intense uterine activity. Familiar, something is up kind of cramping.

I tested with a very light positive on Tuesday night. I got another very faint positive on Wednesday. Yesterday it was even fainter.

Today, there was no line. On either test I took.

So, what does that mean? I guess it could mean that I was unlucky enough to get a hold of a couple of bad tests. I guess it could also mean that something tried to happen but didn't get very far.

I'm bummed.

My head is having trouble wrapping around why I am getting positives all of a sudden. After all that time, struggle, and money...why now? From plain old sex even. Don't get me wrong, I would love for this trend to continue and actually get a healthy take home baby out of it. I just don't understand it.

~~~

Our trip is coming up next week. We'll be gone three nights and four days. Yikes. The details I need to make sure are covered are sort of freaking me out. I'm trying not to think about it to much until I actually start packing, though. (Procrastination is my middle name.)

~~~

Before we leave, though, we are going to have the weekly therapy session at the local bowling alley. It should make for an interesting experience to say the least!

~~~

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers.

Randomosity

I counted it up. We'll have 30 appointments (plus ophthalmologist appointments for both big boys and the orthotics fitting at least) before summer ends. Not counting weekend days, we only have 54 days of summer. That's an appointment every 1.9 days.

Of those appointments, not a single one is for me. (Or Is.aac for that matter.)

Yeah.

No wonder I've felt so run down. (Well, that and I need to take iron again.) I'm practically working more schlepping the boys around to different appointments now than I do when I work at school.

~~~

37 days until the boys start school. I'm excited for them. I am a nervous wreck about it, too.

~~~

Sh.awn asked me, "Mom, do you know what you know?" How do you answer that kind of question?

Good grief.

~~~

We have made our plans to go back to Sea World in a few weeks. We're going to stay at a hotel for three nights, which makes the boys wildly excited.

I'm a tad bit nervous, but I am putting off really thinking about it until a few days before we go. Otherwise I'll drive myself crazy with the details.

~~~

Is.aac is leaving this Thursday to go to Vegas with his buddy for the weekend. Anyone besides me think that is just a tiny bit unfair? Ahem.

~~~

I've read several books over the last week and a half. It has been glorious. I love reading, but that is always the first thing to go when things get crazy. It's nice to be able to lose myself in some adventure every now and then.

Anyone have any book suggestions? I don't want anything too serious (I've got enough of that in my regular life!), and I am not a huge science fiction fan. Other than that, I'll read pretty much anything.

~~~

We had some people over on Saturday. They have a two year old who is just three months younger than Jack. It was crazy to see how much bigger Jack was than an average kid. Jack had a good 4 inches on their little girl and outweighed her by a good 7 or 8 pounds. Wow.

I know he's big and all, but I guess I never really thought how big compared to other kids.

(Plus it was nice to see that he was pretty comparable skills wise. The other kid jumps and that's about all the difference between the two. Whew.)

~~~

And if you would, keep your fingers crossed for me.

Friday Night Leftovers

I went for a hike on a trail near a friend's house. The area had been devastated in the fires our state had several months ago. Now all you see across the mountains are the skeletal remains of the trees, the bottom clearly visible when usually it had never been before.

 

The blackened bark had peeled away to reveal the orange inner bark of the trees. From afar, they still looked like they were glowing with fire. 



The entire scene was hauntingly beautiful.

~~~

I got another appointment for the boys on August 5th. My hope is that this appointment will give us a more comprehensive view of where they are right now gross motor wise, and what we could do/should do to help them. I am excited about the appointment (which with my love of all things doctors says something. Plus it just feels strange to be excited about a doctor's appointment.).

Fingers crossed that this will be a very good thing for my boys.

~~~

We have company coming over tomorrow afternoon. That translates to me spending the day trying to tame the beast that is our house. They have a toddler, so I will try to make sure the floors are cleaned and all sharp objects are out of reach, but I'm not feeling a whole lot of energy to do much more. That's probably not very hospitable, I know.

~~~

I've been sorting through some of my things in storage. I found a sweet picture of Is.aac and myself from our senior year in high school.

Oh, boy were we young!

~~~

Stop by Danifred's for more Leftovers.

Mostly Wordless Wednesday

One of my top ten favorite pictures of all my guys...

Just looking at it makes my heart happy. :)

Here's another recent favorite of just my little guys.

More

It started off innocently enough. We had just started out on a thirty minute drive on our way to the boys' swimming therapy.

"Mommy, look! That man has canes!"

Sure enough, he did. He's a neighbor, who lives a few streets over from us. We've passed him many times before, but today it finally clicked in his head.

"Why does he have canes?"

I thought about it for a few seconds before I answered simply that it was because he used them to walk.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure why he needs the canes to help him walk, kiddo. I think it's pretty cool that he is walking with them, though. Don't you think?"

"Uh, yeah..." he said. Then he added, "Why do I need a walker to walk?"

There it was.* I don't know why I am always so unprepared for this type of question. It isn't like I shouldn't know they are coming my way. But to be honest, he has never really asked me why he doesn't walk. He doesn't see anything wrong with not walking without his walker, I do know that. For him this is normal even though he knows other kids do walk without walkers. (Hello, he has the constant reminder of Jack to help with that.)

Both boys know they have CP and have a vague sense of what that means. I've told them about being born premature (although Ja.son does NOT like talking about how he was sick and in the hospital for a long time. He wants to talk about his life once he was home) and their rough beginning.

Still neither has ever asked for more about the differences, namely their lack of walking.

The plan has always been to follow their lead on things. We'd wait to really talk about CP and its implications for their lives when they wanted more.

Today was a day for wanting more.

More they got.

I hope I did it justice.

~~~

*Why don't they ask these questions of their father?!

Updates on the Boys

It is my firm belief that the medical system in our country is designed to wear you out and make you give up trying to find appropriate care. This week I've spent way too many hours on the phone trying to find a specialist. I am beyond frustrated with the whole thing.

I had a long, drawn out explanation of the drama, but I erased it. It pissed me off all over again witting it out. Grr. Just know that I spent WAY too long dealing with stupid people. I think I've finally got things worked out to the best of my ability for now, but I do have still have some work to do to get things the way I want them.

So that brings our count of medical appointments for the big boys this summer to:

• 2-3 therapy appointments a week for remainder of the summer (swimming for an hour one day a week and PT/OT twice a week)
• orthotics casting (AFOs to be completed in approx. 3 weeks. We'll have to go back for the fitting when they are done.)
• CT scans scheduled for Aug. 1 at 7:15 am at the children's hospital 1.5 hours away. That will be fun for sure!
• Neurosurgery appointment back at the children's hospital the following week (yet another example of stupidity in the medical world)
• Orthopedic appointment (more STUPIDITY with this one, but it is done for right now. Need to get a referral from our pediatrician -I haven't even settled on who I want as our new ped yet- for the children's hospital for a second opinion.)

I haven't even started our search for a new pediatrician outside of casually asking for recommendations from people on FB. I want a ped who would be comfortable with their more complicated medical file but would still treat them like typical kids for the general stuff. (We know the complications well enough that we just bypass the ped and head straight to the children's hospital anyway.) I also still need to schedule an appointment with the neurologist.

Whew. No wonder I am always tired! That's a lot of crap to do.

~~~

The big boys are going through a growth spurt. This is not a good thing for their legs, as growing tends to tighten muscles. We have lots of stretching to do.

~~~

Sh.awn is a screamer. He has one of those screams that could shatter glass, and he is not afraid to use it. It drives me insane. INSANE. He knows it. This, my friends, is a bad combination.

I did finally get him potty trained (for reals, no going back kind of trained) this month. He is not really able to get himself onto the toilet without help. Then he decided that only I could take him to the potty. He would not let Is.aac or my mom take him. It was me or no one. The problem with that is that I work and was away for a good majority of his day. He also decided that only our toilet was pee worthy. Again, he was at my mom's for a good majority of his day.

The pull-ups went on and stayed. When I was around, he'd go on the potty. Otherwise, he'd go in his pull-ups. I got lazy. He got lazy. The pull-ups became the norm rather than the exception. Sigh.

The first day of summer break, I took pull-ups away. Thus commenced a long two weeks of peeing in his pants FAR too many times. I banged my head against the wall. I vented and was frustrated. But, BUT now he is good to go. He will let anyone take him and has been to public and other private toilets outside of our own. Score!

Anyway, with that behind us we were then able to focus on more pressing things like Project Stop the Damn Screaming, Boy. We are making slow strides. He's a stubborn one.

The boy has grown a pants size and shirt size. He's still on the smaller side, but he's getting there. The growth has been translated to tighter than usual muscles in his legs. The good news here is that he does stretch well, and I think the swimming is doing wonders working on his strength. The new orthotics will help even more, I think.

He's still working on his walking. He's lost a lot of extra support on his walker lately, which is really good news. His stamina is improving ever so slowly, but I'll take it.

~~~

Ja.son is too smart for his own good. Ugh. If I say anything to that boy, I can almost see his the wheels in that brain of his turn. He is a master negotiator, but at the same time, he's not afraid to throw out a quick little tantrum for good measure. Sometimes I think he's channeled a teenage girl with the drama his dishes out.

Oh how he loves the drama.

He's taught himself to read and is finally working on mastering his letters. (Fine motor skills are hard for him.) He asks a million questions about everything. He does not accept the "I don't know" for an answer, either. He insists I confer with my good friend Siri for the really hard questions. lol.

Ja.son's grown somewhere around two inches in the last month. This has translated to struggles with tightness behind his knees, which makes him crouch when standing. We have lots of stretching to do with him also. Do you know how kids love doing things that mildly hurt and are uncomfortable? Yeah. Me neither. He is not a fan of the stretching, and I have to say that I am limited on ways of making that kind of thing "FUN!" Sigh.

~~~

Mr. Jack is now walking like he's been doing it all his life. He is running, climbing, and almost to the point of jumping. (Jumping comes 6-9 months after learning to walk, so he's right where he should be as far as that goes. He has only been walking just over 6 months.) He loves the slide, fearlessly going down our slide with our without my presence.

His talking has taken off. He literally talks all day long. In context I can understand what he's saying most of the time. There are times, though, when I have no idea what he's trying to tell me. Oh, how that pisses him off!

He knows some colors, can count to twenty, knows quite a few animals and their sounds, loves to read and point things out to me in his books, sings along with me on several songs, and has taken to drawing on his doodle pad thingy.

I would say the two areas for him to work on would be 1) articulating better in his speech - I don't think what he's doing is atypical. He does correct to some degree if I say the word for him and he repeats it. and 2) good grief this boy needs to branch out as far as food eating goes. He will eat waffles, peanut butter, and fruit. Occasionally he'll eat banana bread. Period. Oh, and he will eat the veggie pouches things, too. I'm to the point of not fighting him over it. Eat a waffle every meal until you're 50 if you want. I don't care.