Yesterday was a very traumatic day. It was one of those days that you are not expecting to turn bad, and when it does, it just throws your whole life around.
Sometimes I wonder why everything has to be so challenging. Who did I piss off up there that sees the need to make me suffer at every opportunity? What could I have done that was so bad to earn all of this?
We had our 16 week scan yesterday. I was excited to go, looking forward to the opportunity to find out the genders of the babies. Both boys, apparently. This will sound horrible, but it was a blow that both the babies are boys. I so wanted a girl. The psychic said it would be two girls. Don't get me wrong, I will love the boys without hesitation. But...
Then...
The tech was pointing out all of the different parts of the babies. It was neat to see how big they are getting. Then she kept returning to their brains. She stayed on their brains for a disproportionate amount of time. I was starting to get nervous. She didn't say anything about it when I asked. "Oh, I am looking for blood flow," and stuff like that. Okay. Then she went on to their other parts and spent an unusual amount of time on B's feet. He had one foot wrapped around the other and wouldn't show it. I said something about him not wanting to show her his foot and she said something about worrying his foot was clubbed. What? That can't be, right?
She finished and the Peri came in to the room. He picked up the ultrasound wand and went back to the babies' brains. I really started to sweat at this point. Something is wrong with their brains!?! Holy Crap. I asked him what he was looking at, and he proceeds to tell me that both babies have cysts on their brains. This is a marker for Downs. While normal babies have been seen to have this, too, he suggests that I undergo an amnio on each of the babies today to make sure. Then he goes to B's foot. Of course, B wouldn't move it away from his other foot. The Peri says he isn't sure about the formation of the foot. Could be deformed, or could not be. That was helpful.
Do we want the amnio...he suggests it. Downs possibility...Shit.
We did the amnio and now have to wait the ten days for the results. I just wish it was Monday again and I could be oblivious about all of this.
Our anniversary is tomorrow. Great way to celebrate it, isn't it?
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1 day ago
13 comments:
Oh sweetie... I know that you are worried beyond belief right now. That's it- we're mothers, no turning back.
Again, you dont know anything until you get the amnio's back. Until then you are sitting in terror. It might all bne ok at the end of the day- just another fright to add on to this entire scary process. On the other hand, something may be wrong and you need to be prepared for it. No one wants this. No one. But it crosses all of our minds. You are strong and you will get through it.
We are here for you and if you need anything let me know.
Try and get your mind off of it as much as you can. Nothing is certain.
Oh, Stacie, I'm so sorry things didn't go according to plan. I imagine the next ten days will be very long. Hold each other close, and know I'm keeping you in my thoughts.
Im so sorry. I know it seems sometimes that we have the worst luck in the world. I am very sure that both of your babies will turn out healthy. Try not to worry about it. The worrying wont change anything, just make you feel worse. I know, easier said than done.
I'll be praying for you!!Those u/s aren't always right.
Oh sweetheart.
What a day. Having been through this already, I say, hold my hand. You're in for a bumpy ride...but have faith that all will be well. I HATE ULTRASOUNDS!!!!! How can things go from happy to worry in such a short amount of time? I'm glad you didn't have to wait days to decide about doing the amnio or not & dragging it out even more. Having the amnio already means that the first hurdle is already cleared.
I'll be praying for you and the babies. It's horrible that you are going to be numb and/or in a state of complete terror until the results come back. I wish there was something I could say to make it less stressful, but there just isn't. Hang in there and I'll be desperately hoping that everything is fine.
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this kind of stress and worry.
I just KNOW that things are going to be ok. I've heard a lot of people going through these scary tests only to end up with a healthy baby(s).
I'm glad that they did the test...so that you know. So that you can rest your mind.
I'm here by way of Gemini Girl's blog and just wanted to tell you I'm praying for you and your babies. I was seeing a specialist for nearly 3 months of my pregnancy...she was convinced my girls had twin to twin transfusion , which could have been deadly, and did her best to convince me & my OB of the same...she was wrong. But, we didn't find out for sure until they were born. It's true though, the worry never stops from the time you get that BFP.
Sending prayers...
Ultrasounds are very fallible. Period. The people reading them are also fallible. I'm convinced, having gone through an amnio wait like yours with my first baby, that there's something about pregnancy that makes the medical community assume the worst. I think it's because we're so vulnerable and every test is another chance for something to stress us out again.
Hang in there. We're all here for you.
Thinking about you guys... I've seen this same scenario before and it turned out ok. I'll be hoping the same for you & your little ones.
Oh Stacie, I hope this is just a scare, and nothing more. I have found SO many blogs out there where mums have had unnecessary scares. It's bullsh@t. I hope you manage to have some kind of happy anniversary. Thinking of you, and your two litle bubs. xoxo
Try to have a good aniversary - the one thing you are sure of is that your marriage is strong, and the family that you are building will be strong too. Celebrate that.
Hang in there. I'll be praying for you guys to get some good news!
Stacey my thoughts and prayers are with you and your hubby as you wait this week out. I hope you enjoyed your anniversary some what. Try and keep a positive outlook and keep busy. It will help make the time go faster.
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