Bittersweet

Ja.son has slowly adjusted to life without his glasses. He struggled the first day. He asked for them once the second day. Today, he didn't ask for them at all.

Sh.awn, however, is still struggling with the change. He frequently reminds Ja.son to go get his glasses. He argues with Jay when Ja.son says he doesn't wear them anymore. I guess it makes sense; Sh.awn is the one who saw the glasses all the time. It must be so strange to see such a huge change in the familiar face.

As much as I hate those glasses, I must admit that this new milestone is a little bittersweet for me. The glasses were a visual link between the boys, a small sign that yes, they are more than brothers when there is so little else that implies they are twins.

Sure, they still have a few parallels to their lives. The CP is one. When they are both in their walkers, it's obvious the two of them are connected in some way. But really, that's the end of their similarities.

The boys have always been very different. Aside from the brief time during their very early days, they look different. One is tall and lean with a mass of coarse, thick hair. The other is more average in size with fine, straight hair. They have always been different in their strengths and interests. One likes numbers and math. One likes to read. Their differences go on and on, and for the most part we celebrate them as individuals.

The differences ended when you looked at their faces; the glasses and even their scripts were the same. They both had them, one of the few remaining things they still shared. To some extent, the glasses became a symbol of their twinness.

Each is his own person, yes, but they will always be twins.

I've always thought that being a twin is something interesting and unique. I hate that this feels like yet another way they've been cheated from the specialness of their birth.

I don't know. Maybe they could care less.

Maybe this is something that bothers me a whole hell of a lot more than it will ever bother them.

As much as I am happy that his eyes have done just what we wanted them to do when he first got his glasses on his first birthday, and even thought it may be silly, there is that part of me that is feeling melancholy nonetheless.