Friday Night Leftovers - The Court Edition

• This trial is taking an obscene amount of my time. It is like I am obsessed. I follow the docket. I follow the newspaper. We are texting each other like mad. Obsessed.
• You see, after it happened, we didn't talk about it. I spoke to my two sista friends about what happened, but we did not talk about it as a group ever during the three and half years since it happened. We NEVER talked about it. The week it happened, the staff was in a sort of stunned silence--surviving any way they could while being interviewed and reinterviewed by the police and lawyers. I was still out on leave at that point. By the time I had come back, we were directed to NOT talk to each other by our district office (who was more than concerned that they'd be sued), and we all dutifully complied.
• For three and a half years!
• Do you know what that does to people--to women? It makes them crazy.
• It was only after the subpoenas started to be handed out that the talk started. It started slowly at first. There were a lot of "really?" and "I didn't know that!" filled conversations. And it hasn't stopped. It's so refreshing to speak to people who REALLY get it...yet, it feels forbidden at the same time. So strange.
• Today, the first group of non-directly related to the actual shooting teachers testified. It was brutal. Every one of them left in tears.
• The prosecutor has it out for anyone helping the defense. That's her job. We know that. It doesn't make the attack feel any different, though.
• As of now, I am still a go for Tuesday.
• I am fucking crapping in my pants every time I think about it. A few of the things I will be asked are in direct conflict to what the prosecutor has already established. She will come after what I say. It's her job.
• Did I mention the crapping in pants I'm experiencing every time I think about testifying?
• I haven't slept well in a week either. Not fun. As an aside, when I am tired, I seem to lose my sense of balance. My left side is full of bruises from walking into the damn wall (woke Is.aac up with that one) and the stupid dresser (after which my "FUCKING A!" also woke him up). Ahem.
• And they are still using our full names in the paper. Perfect. Apparently the problem is that the prosecution hasn't formally rested their case as the defense calls us all in out of order. They told us they would get it through the court once the prosecution rested. Um...my guess is that won't be before Tuesday. :-/
• In case you didn't read it earlier, the main things to remember is me. crapping in pants. Sigh.

For more leftovers, stop by Danifred's.

P.S. Jack had his 4 month visit today. Stats: H-27.5", W-18.10 pounds, HC-17.75 inches (above 95%ile for everything. My boy is a biggun.)